☾ Idol au
☾ Social media/text au
☾ "Yo what, how did you know that?"
"Mark...I'm literally your fan."
Book 1 in the Dreaming series
Book cover: @ chaaxou on instagram
I've never fallen for anyone and now I'm looking at the ceiling wondering just what you're feeling now
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"You saw her didn't you?"
Mark glanced up from his numbing stare to the wall, meeting Donghyuck's gaze as he walked into the practice room with the door shutting behind him.
"I wanted to see if she was okay." "And was she?"
There was a silence from Mark and Donghyuck sighed, handing a bottle of water to his best friend as he sat besides him.
"Why did you break up with her?" "I already told you why." He muttered. "Well I want to hear it again."
Mark sighed, leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees as a silence lingered in the air, a frustration building up inside the older boy who couldn't deal with his emotions well- especially these emotions. They were suffocating, heart wrenching and his body physically hurt from the emotional pain.
"I hate it," he began, earning a glance from the boy next to him. "I hate my job." "Mark-" "No, I just...hate it." He breathed out, his head dropping low as he felt the swirling sadness and anger interwoven with guilt consuming him. "I feel like, like everytime I try to just be happy and spend time with people and do the things I want to do, I ruin everything."
Donghyuck felt a little taken aback by the sudden outburst but kept a level head, knowing Mark had probably felt this way for a while. "What do you mean ruin everything?"
"I can't- I'm not a good boyfriend Donghyuck. I'm constantly busy and I can't even say no to the work, I feel really bad like really bad- it's so shitty of me to just let her wait around constantly for a time when I'm free. Man I can barely fucking breathe sometimes in this place- in this job, I wish things were different. I wish we could do the things normally couples do you know? She genuinely deserves someone who can give her that."
Donghyuck eyed his friend, leaning his head back on the wall as he spoke. "You should have at least tried to talk it out with her. I'm pretty sure she didn't mind, she dated you despite knowing the complications."
"How am I meant to make her happy if I don't even have the time to look after myself? I want to give her 100% of course I do but I just- I can't. I feel like I keep making these shit excuses. It's unfair on her, being in a relationship where you feel like...like work is more important. I hate my job."
"You don't mean that, you don't hate your job." "I hate how restricting it is, man is it so much to ask to just walk down the street with someone?" He exclaimed, letting out a heavy exhale. "I don't know what to do."
