I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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HOURS TICKED by, I couldn't sleep.
The longer I tried, the more awake I got.
Half an hour ago Arlo climbed into my bed, he said nothing to me. He just came into my room, climbed into my bed and then fell straight back to sleep - or he wasn't even awake to begin with.
With his cheek brushing against my pillow and a dark mass of curls falling around his face he seemed blissful and innocent. I poked his cheek, wanting him to wake up.
"dawọ jọwọ." He mumbled sleepily.
(Stop please.)
I poked him again and he twitched his nose. Agitating him was shockingly unsatisfying so instead I lay in quiet darkness, counting his breaths.
"Fearne?" He cuddled into me and smiled. "You're so warm." He whispered. I glanced at his face, his eyes were closed.
"Are you awake?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"I can't sleep." I groaned, wanting him to wake up more because if I couldn't sleep then he shouldn't sleep next to me out of solitude.
He didn't open his eyes once. Was he awake or was he asleep? I couldn't tell. I sighed, settling on him sleep talking.
Minutes of silence past us by and then he opened his eyes wide like he was surprised and inhaled a sharp gasp. "I forgot to walk the dog." I laughed.
"Arlo there is no dog." He sat up and rubbed his tired eyes.
"Oh, sorry." I tugged on his shoulder.
"Lay down, go back to sleep." He lay down but kept his eyes open looking at me. "Close your eyes." I encouraged.
"But I like looking at you." He blinked heavily and smiled sloppily. His speech was so normal was he awake now? "These are cute." His fingers pattered on my cheeks and over my nose like little raindrops. Was he pointing at my freckles?
"Thanks." I replied awkwardly.
"I love you Fearne." Suddenly my heart palpitated like crazy. Those words, spoken so casually. In the moment type words. Light hearted, not over thought. Just a passing comment. Did he mean them? Is it just sleep talking nonsense?
Obviously he's sleep talking Fearne, he just thought he had a dog.
"Thanks." I replied again, majorly awkwardly.
"ni gbogbo awọn ede, mon ifẹ rẹ."
(in all languages, I love you)
"I don't know-"
"I want you to know something about me, it's a secret. I've never told anyone, not even my therapist." His eyes were hooded, I think they were becoming even heavier. "I don't know if I'm a Virgin."
