I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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I liked it in here, is that weird?
A dark padded room, with bubble towers, soothing music and glowing lights. It was far better than the padded room I spent a year of my life living in. It was calming.
Henry had brought his screams down to just hums. He hummed in distress while he banged his head against the padded wall.
I watch fish float up a bubble tower and the colours change, slowly morphing into the next like a rainbow. My fingers tapped the glass and I smiled.
"I had a bad day today Henry." I sighed, thinking back to how I lost it in bio. "They forced me to take my meds again. Now I feel so tense and irritated until everything settles down."
Henry banged his head against the wall but the humming quieted, he was a good listener.
"I hate that I have no control of my emotions when I'm around other people. I don't want them to figure out I'm bipolar. You know?"
His little brown eyes watched me carefully, just rocking too and fro silently.
"That's why I act the way I do. So when I lose it like I did in biology people just think 'that's Arlo being Arlo.' But that's not who I am, you know that. It's a lot living up to this pantomime. Keeping people at arms length so they don't see the truth. It kinda sucks."
Henry stopped bashing his head against the wall and focused on the bubble tower.
"I punched Jamie. I punched my best friend. He called me crazy and that really hurt." The pink and turquoise light reflected onto his face, ever changing. "I know, the truth hurts. But did he have to say that? Call me out like that in front of everyone?"
Henry raised his fingers to the glass, following the bubbles and they rose up weightlessly.
"He doesn't know. None of them do. I can't bare anyone knowing. I guess I'll have to apologise, that's not going to be fun."
He tapped the glass, making the fish jitter inside.
"What do we think about the new girl, Fearne?" His eyes floated up and down watching the fish move.
"I call her Blossom, she hates it." I laughed. "If I'm being completely honest, I'm scared as fuck of her. I need her to like me - not cause I want something to happen between us - just because - nah, forget it. You wouldn't understand that."
Henry looked at me blankly and I smiled.
"Don't look at me like that Henry, I have my reasons. I just need people to like me, accept my flirting. Flirt back. Think they're in with a chance with me. It's important."
He looked away, following the fish again with his eyes. "You're going to make yourself dizzy with that fish."
