Daddy Issues

36|Confession

I roll over into something hard. I jolt up only to find Alex sat there.

"Hi." He says and I put a hand on my chest. "You scared the hell out of me!" I exclaim and he folds my blanket over me more firmly. "I'm sorry." He apologises.

"Stop." I sigh, sitting against the headboard. "India just let me explain." He sighs. I raise an eyebrow and he takes a breath of relief.

"No. You shouldn't be here. Im tired. What's the time? You should leave." I argue and he sighs. "Its just gone 11." He says and my eyes widen. "11? I've been asleep for 9 hourd?!" I exclaim and he nods slowly. "Shit." I mutter.

"Can you leave?" I ask abruptly and he sighs. "If you need to stay, my brothers room is down the hall and theres a sofa downstairs." I say and he groans.

"Don't they say, you get more attached to the person you lost your virginity to?" He asks and I groan. "This would be so much easier if you could be attached to me." He says and I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm sure you've had more than enough women attached to you." I bite and he stands up and starts pacing my room.

"Why won't you understand?" He shouts and I pull my blanket into my chest. "I've tried showing you in every way I know. I've taken care of you, I defend you, I've beat the shit out of like 5 guys for you. I stopped doing drugs. I stayed after we had sex. I checked in on you. I don't know what else I can do to prove to you that i love you." He says and my eyes widen.

What??????

"Tell me what I can do India. I need you to tell me what I can do to prove to you." He says and my jaw drops. This has to be a joke.

"I've told you so much about me. So much. But I get it if that isn't enough. I'll come over more often and spend time with your family. I'll--"

"Alex stop." I say standing up.

"I don't need you to toss me aside too." He says and his eyes glass over. Oh my god. I just melted.

"Please India. Please." He begs dropping to his knees infront of me. "I don't want to be your friend because for the first time ever I want a girlfriend and I want it to be you." He says and my heart faulters. He's crying infront of me and I can't take it.

"Alex please stand up." I say and he cries harder and wraps his arms around my stomach.

"Alex. I'm not kicking you aside but I can't take you on your knees infront of me crying so please please stand up." I say and he does exactly that.

He doesn't meet my eyes and I sigh.

"Look at me. Please look at me." I say reaching for his face. He looks down at me and I sigh.

"Everything is okay." I say and he nods slowly. "I don't know what I did India, to make you not want me anymore but I can't cope. You've been the best part of me for a while. All I want to do is wrap you up in your stupid blanket and keep you away from everyone and everything so you don't ever get hurt." He says and I can feel my heart squashing under all the words he's saying to me.

"I've never been in a relationship before but just let me show you I love you and that I want to love you, only you for the rest of my life. I think I know you better than anyone else does and I know you know me better than anyone else so I'm just asking you to give me a chance." He says and I nod slowly.

"Alex you don't to keep asking, all you had to say is that you wanted me and I'd be yours." I admit and he takes a breath of relief.

"So you'll be my girlfriend?" He asks and I nod. "I'd love to." I say and he smiles before wrapping his arms around me.

"You'll have to help me with this relationship stuff." He says and I nod. "That's fine." I say and he leans down to kiss me.

"I'm sorry for fighting Kyle." He says and I nod slowly. "No you're not." I say and he tries to hide his smile. "I know I'm not. He deserved it. I've told him multiple times not to come onto you and he's ignored it." He says lifting me up slightly.

"Talk about girl code." I gasp and he puts his hands under my butt. "He's a total dick. He never deserved you. Hell I don't deserve you, I'm just selfish." He admits and I smile and kiss him.

"You um... dropped the L bomb." I say pulling back and he nods. "I know and I meant it. I'm pretty sure what I feel for you is love. You don't need to say it back, id rather you mean it then to say it to make me feel better." He mumbles and I nod.

Alex is a huge dick. Well was. I don't know what I did for him to change but I'm so happy about it.

I've never seen him so vulnerable and emotional. If I had known these past days would've really affected him, I wouldn't of said anything.

He puts me down on my bed and wraps me in my blanket. He takes off his clothes, leaving him in his boxers, and getting in bed.

He lies down on top me and puts hus head in my chest. "Thank you." He mumurs against my boob.

"Are you talking to me or my boob?" I ask and he chuckles. "Your boob." He says before taking off mt bra.

"Um... what?" I ask confused. "I doubt that was comfortable." He says pulling my bra through my arm sleeve.

He kisses my lips and then holds me as tight as possible before going to sleep.

It's mad how well we know each other. We haven't necessarily had to have the deep chats, we just know.

I'm grateful I have him. Because at this rate, If I didn't have him, I have no idea who would be dragging me out of bed.

He means more to me than I think either of us realise. I just need him to realise I'm really here and im not leaving him.

I had a feeling that you just had to crack at the outside. I thought I'd gotten it all when he told me about his dad.

When he broke down crying, I felt this fonder and deeper connection to him then ever before.

I do feel for him so strongly, but I can't pin it on love, yet.