You're dead to me

Chapter twenty-three: Sociopath

The rain slams against the window, when I sat down in my office. My nerves are blanc and I know that I'm doing a mistake, but on the other hand she is like a stone cold wall, that I can't break down.

Father really had meant it serious, when he ordered me to keep her under control. It's almost impossible to do that, she is so full of anger and hate towards everyone in her life.

I'm in my own building, so she wont storm in and see me with it. I lay the black book onto the table and observe it, like it would start telling me shit. If she wont open up, than I have to do it for her. I pour myself a bourbon and choke it down, I welcome the burn in my throat and let it intoxicate me.

"Fuck that". I mumble and open up the first page.

January 14,

I have killed.

I hold my breath and read along.

January 15,

Makes that me a monster?

Based on her handwriting she must've been twelve, it looks scribbled down, like she had to do it in a hurry, so no one else sees it.

January 23,

My sister hates me. I decided to be apart of the mafia and the second I confessed it, she shook her head at me. I had to sacrifice my own flesh, the act of loyalty. I didn't care for that, but I cared for her. She looked so disappointed and angry. Am I a monster? Am I a monster now? But if not, what am I then. YOU'RE NOTHING!!!

I narrow my eyes together. I knew the act of loyalty, I had to do it myself, but not as young as she had to do it. I was sixteen and she was only twelve. I know how much her sister means to her and I can't even think about the amount of self harm she attended on herself, because she felt unworthy. She feels like she has turned her back at Theresia. I gulp down a second bourbon.

December 7,

I loved it how he screamed at me and his blood flowed down my arm. He knelt down and plead for his life. I grinned, I liked it. But then it stopped and I cried. He stared at me wide eye. Funny, he looked like my doll I have cut once into tiny little peaces, his name was Tommy. I want to call him Tommy too. But his heart stopped and my cries eventually too. I guess Tommy has found his Grace.
They say sociopaths laugh at dead people. They're right.

What happened to her?

There is a massive gab from the twenty third of January to the seventh of December. Something had turned the little girl into the monster she is now. I don't know why, but I feel like I need to keep an eye on her. She acts like she's a badass but she's mentally unstable. My phone lights up and my eyes shoot to the message that just came in.

"Fuck!". I storm out of the room.