I didn't take my meds today.
Two days ago Caitlin Adams asked if I was bipolar because I was into her on Monday but by Friday I had figured out that she was too demanding.
But those words, that question... it seeped into my soul and tarnished my tho...
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WHEN WE left the cafe it was dark outside, the night sky illuminated with thousands of twinkling stars. Blue offered to give me a ride home but I couldn't accept, not when I knew Arlo was running around town somewhere with the village whore.
I knew where she hung out, in the lavender fields where the guys hooked up with any girls who would have them. I jumped on the town bus, the air conditioning attacked my body but I didn't care I was only on it for three stops.
Secluded away from civilisation moonlight reflected off the familiar white Audi roof, it looked out of place here in Fresco, too modern and lavish. The guys here drove trucks or tractors.
Kara lay on the bonnet, the orange ember of a lit cigarette lighting up the navy blue night sky. She blew smoke rings up into the air before taking another long drag.
"Kara?" I asked quietly.
She sat up startled half to death and then giggled to herself shaking her head.
"Of course." She muttered under her breath. "Fuck me, it's always the ones who preach abstinence the loudest and judge the greatest. Well played celibacy, he's fucking hot."
"Nothing hap-"
"Well that's good because I already fucked him." She stumped her cigarette out on the hood of his car and slid off the bonnet.
My face contorted, all the emotions I haven't felt for three months came flooding back in at once. My heart was breaking, shattering like the glass in my compact mirror.
Kara, assessing my reaction, laughed out loud and gripped her tummy. "Looks like I'm not the only whore in town." She whirled her finger in my direction and then snaked off into the darkness of the never-ending fields.
"They only had raspber-" I spun around, Arlo stood holding two slushy drinks and guilt ate at me. "Where did she go?" My pulse raced and my words were so thick I forgot how to swallow. He sucked in his lower lip and looked down at his cup. "You want this?" He offered holding it out to me, why was he being so normal?
"Why did you come here?" My tears fell, he blurred in my vision but even blind I would sense him.
"Did you really think I wouldn't follow you here?" He put the slushes down on the roof of his car and traced his finger over a little round burn in the paintwork. His jaw clenched but he said nothing.
"You're three months too late." I sobbed, feeling overcome with emotion.
"I was dealing with... stuff." He stepped closer to me and caught my tear with his thumb. "Don't cry." I inhaled sadly at the warmth of his touch against my cheek.
"You can't be here." His hand raked through my hair and he brought his lips closer to mine.
"I can't not be here." He smelt like fruity soap and his warm breath tickled my lips. I wanted to throw myself at him but I was scared there would be nothing left of him afterwards.
