Love you more

18: I want to get drunk and laid!

"Anni -" Saranya called. I wiped my eyes, she came and draped a hand comfortingly on my shoulders.

"I am sorry. Senthil can be bullheaded sometimes. It's not his place to come between you and Sai anna," she apologized. I didn't say anything.

She breathed out heavily as though mustering courage to continue, "Anni, I don't know what Senthil said or did to hurt you. But he doesn't hate you. He... He is scared."

"What do you mean?"

"He has fear of abandonment. Ever since our father left us, he hasn't let anyone get close to him. Please forgive him this once."

I nodded, I couldn't tell her why I was hurt anyway. We both walked to the car. Sai was standing alone.

"Are you hurt?" I asked him

"Nothing serious, a few bruises maybe."

"I am sorry, Sai," I apologized.

"Hey Anu, I am fine. Don't worry."

"Where is Senthil?" asked Saranya.

"I think your brother is planning to walk all the way home," Sai said, pointing towards a distant figure.

Sai stopped the car near Senthil.

"Get in," Saranya said, Senthil just kept walking. I got out of the car.

"Get in," I ordered. He stood still on hearing me, he turned and shook his head.

"Don't be stupid you can't walk all the way back."

"Anu... I don't hate you."

"Ok. Now get in."

He stepped forward and took my hands, "Anu, Please don't be mad at me."

"I am mad at you, damn it! Now just get in the car."

I wrenched my hand from him and got inside the car. Senthil followed me. We were all silent for the rest of the drive.

"Anna, drop us here," Saranya said as we reached the outskirts of Valayapatti. Both got down, only Saranya bid goodbye as they walked towards their house.

"Sai, can you pull over for some time, I don't want grandparents to see me like this."

"Anu, your eyes are red. I suggest you act like you are sleeping, I will carry you up." I accepted.

Sai carried me up to my room, explaining to my paati that I slept on our way back. I changed into a nightdress and slipped onto the bed. Sai came after some time bringing me orange juice.

"Thanks, Sai. I was getting thirsty."

"I know you, dear, and I also know you need me and my dick."

I nodded, he looked at me concerned. He sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

"Hey, wanna talk about it."

"I thought you were giving your dick for the service, not your ears," I said in a pathetic attempt at humor.

"Anu, what is bothering you?"

"Sai, do you love me?"

"Of course I do, what's there not to love about you."

"Do you love me as a woman?"

He lifted me by my chin, so he could look me in the eye. "Anu...tell me what is really bothering you. You haven't been yourself today"

"I kissed someone and got rejected in the worst possible way. I just want to get drunk and get laid," I confessed.

"So, that was why he was looking daggers at me."

"What?"

"That someone is Senthil right?"

I nodded.

"Anu, trust me Senthil wants to be in your pants"

"No, he doesn't. He said he hated me and that it was the worst kiss."

"He said that?"

"Not the actual words, he hyperventilated after we kissed. I just caught a few words like hate, worst, out of control. It wasn't hard to infer what he was talking about."

"Anu, he wants you."

"He wants me? He has a funny way of showing it. I forgot how it feels to be wanted."

"Anu.."

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"Do you love me as a man?" Sai countered.

Even though Aarav and Olivia were my best friends, Sai and I have always connected and understood each other better. He was more than a friend, he was more than family.

"I am not sure, Sai. If anyone else flirted or held me or kissed me as you do, I would have broken their nose. I.."

"I know, dear, I feel the same. I never behave like this to anyone else either. I feel -"

"Comfortable" I finished his sentence, he squeezed me gently.

"See, there is nothing wrong with me or you. Anu, you are everything a man wants, don't let anything make you feel otherwise." He knew exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Thanks, Sai," I hugged him again.

Sai kissed my forehead and said, "Once you feel better, maybe we can make out."

"Sai!" I elbowed him, he chuckled, and with that everything was back to playful joking.

We both fell asleep hugging that night. Sai may be many things but he truly loved and cared for me. Yes, Senthil rejected me, but this is not the end of the world. I will not act stupid anymore.