Love you more

47: I would die before I leave her

She looked depressed on her birthday, I knew she missed her mother. Her frown bothered me. I wanted her smile; for once just for once I wanted to be the one who made her smile. I took her to my favorite waterfall.

I was kissing Ananya. I was on fire and only she could quench it. I devoured her like my life depended on it; I devoured her with all the love that was pent up.

But unlucky bastards like me do more harm than good. When I realized what I did, I was beyond angry at myself. I should never have kissed her, hell! I should never have even touched her. She ended up crying.

I understand I would be furious too if I were her. Who would want to be kissed by a pathetic loser.

When I got home, the imbecile Sai had come to surprise her. She broke down completely when she saw him. I couldn't keep from scowling as he removed a big thorn from her leg. I had made her walk all the way with this thorn buried in her feet.

Shame took over me. Maybe she should be with someone like that imbecile who is actually capable of making her happy. My incompetence fueled my desire to beat him out of his senses.

Ananya skipped school the next day, I missed her like hell. The selfish bastard that I was, I went to see her. There stood Sai holding and kissing her. Impulsively, my temper shot and I blurted my feelings for her before my senses could stop me. I left immediately.

I received a heavy blow on my ear. I wanted a fight and Sai gave it to me.

"Don't ever -"

THUD.

"- show your stupid face -"

THUD.

"- in front of Anu,"

THUD.

"- ever again," Sai said between the punches as he tackled and pinned me by sitting over me.

I pushed him and got on top of him, I punched him back but sadly had no retort to offer. Before I could mash him to my heart's content, Saranya came and saved the imbecile.

"I need your help," I asked Saranya. She glared at me.

"Please," I added.

"You will apologize to Sai anna. yesterday you pinned him to the table, today you were punching him senseless."

She paused to throw me a dirty look.

"Ananya anni was crying her eyes out yesterday telling you hated her. I know you don't like rich people Senthil, but I never knew you would be shameless enough to hurt the people who are helping you."

I hung my head.

"If it were not for anni, you wouldn't be able to study. Stop hurting her and Sai anna. I just learned all the shirts that paati gave you belonged to Sai anna."

It didn't do much to my ego to learn I was wearing the imbecile's cast-offs.

"Can you please visit Ananya and check on her for me?"

She glared in response.

"Please, I am worried about Ananya. Can you take this porridge to her?"

I waited outside Ananya's house patiently for Saranya to return, but when she came back she looked white as a sheet.

"What's wrong?" I asked urgently.

"Anni -" Saranya was trying to find words.

"Tell me! Is Ananya not well?"

"She..." Saranya was shaken beyond words.

"Spit it out damn it! You are scaring me."

"She... drinks."

"What do you mean she drinks?"

"Sai anna has bought beer, they are planning to drink,'' she told her eyes full of fear.

"Not everyone turns into a monster upon the influence of alcohol," I said, squeezing her shoulders gently.

I returned that night to my usual spot in the tree and watched Sai and Ananya getting drunk. Then a third person joined them, it was Sai's sister. She was struggling to prevent Sai and Ananya from jumping off the terrace.

Ananya wobbled standing on the edge and frightened the life out of me. I quickly joined them on the terrace.

I first helped Ananya to her room and then returned to help Sai.

"What does she even see in him?" Sai kept repeating.

I ran to Ananya's room when I heard her cry out in pain. She was sprawled on the floor talking nonsense.

She looked at me and there was nothing tipsy about that moment when she said, "Senthil, I love you. Don't leave me," and hugged me.

Tears rolled down my eyes, my angel said she loved me. She asked me not to leave her. I promised myself I would die before I leave her.