Love you more

22: Angry confession

I looked up to see a livid Senthil watching us. He had given up all pretense of searching.

"Sai, can you bring me an aspirin."

Sai looked up and saw Senthil glaring at him. His face morphed into an evil grin. He bent down and kissed my forehead before leaving.

I sat in silence. I could feel Senthil's gaze. I am not a masochist, every time I look at him I feel pain. I was too much of a coward to look up at him.

"Do you love him?" Senthil asked angrily.

"It's none of your business."

"So you do love him?"

"Why do you care?"

"I care. If you love him, why did you kiss me?"

I inhaled sharply, did he just bring it up? "As you said, I am an out-of-control person who gives bad kisses."

"I never said that."

"I deduced from your mumbling, it was not hard. If you hate me so much, why did you kiss me back?"

"I don't hate you. I already told you many times."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"Don't change the topic, answer my question first."

"I don't have to answer you. As you never answered my question in the first place."

"Fine, I will answer your damn question. You want to know why I kissed you? Because I love you damn it. I have loved you from the moment I first saw you. I love you when you look at me. I love you when you say my name. I love you when you pout. I love you when you blush. I love you even now when you try to avoid looking at me. Damn it, I love you and everything about you."

I was shocked, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't blink.

He strolled towards me. "I have loved you from the moment I met you. Ananya, I love you."

I blinked rapidly, was this really happening; was he confessing his love; or was I hallucinating.

Holding my shoulders he asked, "I am going to kiss you now, but if you love him, stop me."

He moved his face slowly towards me. My brain froze, while my heart sprinted. He gave me plenty of time to push him back, but I couldn't.

I closed my eyes, it was an eternity before our lips met. His kiss was soft and hesitant. My frozen brain didn't work, but my treacherous body reacted to his kiss. Slowly my lips started moving with his. His hand which held my shoulders snaked its way to my back, hugging me and pulling me closer. I clutched his shirt and pulled him closer. He tasted divine, he sucked my tongue into his mouth.

We broke apart only when Sai cleared his throat loudly. I could feel my cheeks flush hot.

"I am leaving aspirin here, don't let me disturb you," Sai said making a great show of leaving. 

Hell! I know Sai did it on purpose, if he didn't want to disturb us why not leave the tablet silently.

I was so embarrassed. I couldn't look at either of them. Sai left, closing the door. My frozen brain slowly thawed. Senthil said he loved me and everything about me but I needed answers. I was still mad at him.

"Why did you push me back that day? Why were you angry at me?" I didn't look up as I asked.

Senthil was silent for a long time, he ran his hand frustratedly through his hair. He still looked flushed as he answered, "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"What?"

"We should stay away."

Tears brimmed in my eyes. Didn't he just confess his love, why is he now telling me that he shouldn't have kissed me? Why am I still getting affected by his rejection every time?

"Why? Am I not good enough for you?" I blurted out, unable to control my thoughts.

"It's not you, it's me. I am -" he paused before continuing, "It is best if we don't continue this."

The standard dialogue of a breakup, when were we even together to call it a break-up. It hurt like hell. If staying away from me is good, why did he confess his love and kiss me?

"Then leave," I shouted and lied down, turning my back to him.

He left without a word. His departure brought fresh tears, what did I expect? Him to stay and comfort me. I wish I had never come here; never met Senthil.

"That was one angry confession," Sai said as he came into my room. I didn't turn, least to show my teary face.

"It was quick even for a quickie," Sai said jokingly. I still didn't say anything, surreptitiously wiped my face. "Here you forgot your aspirin."

I held out my hand, I must have looked like a mess. Because Sai looked genuinely concerned.

"What happened, Anu?"

"Nothing."

"Anu?"

"Sai, please I want to sleep."

"Ok, take this." He handed me the tablet and water looking concerned. I didn't meet his eye as I took the medicine from him. I quickly swallowed and lied down.