Nineteen

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I couldn’t help it. I ran. I ran out of my room. I ran out of my dorm. I ran off of campus. I couldn’t take it! “Normally, yeah, it’s not normal, but somehow you have powerful magic inside of you. Maybe even stronger than Dubuik’s and Tynans, and you have awakened it.” That’s what Grimshaw had said. But how? It still makes little sense to me, and I only awakened my magic because I thought it could help me! I didn’t think it would keep changing my complexion. I hate this! I never asked for any of this! I just wanted a normal life. I just wanted my parents back, my home back. I just wanted my life back! I didn’t want any of this! I’m only a seventeen-year-old girl who doesn’t deserve to have a life like this. It’s unfair. I just want everything to go back to how it once was.
I didn’t know where to go, but I hid in the woods behind the school. Sounds like a stupid idea, but I figured I’ll have some peace. I need time to think about everything. What am I supposed to do now? If my complexion keeps changing like this, what will the principal say? What will he do? Will Tynan kill me for this? I mean, his father is already planning on killing me or something. I just wanted a normal life, who lives with her family in Alabama. The worst part is, none of this would happen right now if my dad never died in that car crash. Ugh! I hate my life! I screamed inside of my mind.
“Does that mean you hate me too?”
I jump up from my sitting position against the tree when I suddenly heard a voice. I look around the woods but didn’t see anyone. I didn’t even feel any magic nearby, so what the hell! Am I going crazy now? I’m hearing things. I let out a sigh as I sat back down in my spot before looking around again. I still felt a bit unease, so I decide to yell out and see if anyone is, actually out there.
“Hello? Anyone out there or am I just crazy?” I ask out into the woods.
“Your a little crazy, but you‘re not hearing things.” The voice spoke up again, making me jump up from my spot once more.
“What? Who are you? Where are you?” I ask out into the woods.
“Well. You won’t see me with your eyes opened.” The voice replies.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, confused.
“Lonnie dear, I’m inside of your mind. You can only see me either in your dreams or if you concentrate on your magic.” The voice replies to me with a sigh.
“What! Why are you inside of my mind?” I ask the voice creeped out.
“Well, lets say I’m your magic source and since your magic lives inside of you, well so do I.” The voice explains to me.
“Wait! So if you‘re my magic source and you live inside of my mind, does that mean you‘re at fault for my complexion changing overnight?” I ask, annoyed.
“Yes, my dear Lonnie. It’s all part of your magic.” The voice tells me proudly.
“Why! I don’t want this happening to me!” I yell at my magic source’s voice.
“Oh? Well, hate to burst your bubble Lonnie dear, but that’s how it works for you.” The voice tells me harshly.
“What do you mean, that’s how it works for me? Are you saying no one else’s complexion ever changes because of their magic?” I ask, hoping I’m wrong.
“Correct. You are the first.” The voice tells me.
“I don’t want to be the first! Please take it back!” I yell at the voice.
“Take it back? That’s not possible.” The voice tells me, sounding disappointed.
“Why not?” I ask, feeling defeated once more.
“It will interfere with my contract.” The voice tells me simply.
“Contract? What contact are you-”
“Lonnie? Is that you?”
I jump from hearing a voice behind me, and I spun around to see Iridiana. I let out a breath of relief knowing it’s just her, but then realized that I don’t have my hat on to cover my glowing eyes. I glance down, making my hair hide my face. I hope she didn’t notice my eyes! I thought, terrified, as I try to keep my breathing even.
“Why not? Your eyes are one of the kind. Their beautiful!” The voice spoke up, making me jump.
“Go away!” I hissed at the voice.
“What? Lonnie, are you feeling okay?” Iridiana asks coming closer making me flinch.
“I-I uh yeah I’m okay! I uh, just needed some fresh air?” I stammered badly.
“All the way out here?” Iridiana asks looking around the woods.
“It’s uh quiet.” I tell her, which isn’t really lying.
“That’s true, but are you sure you‘re okay? You seem jumpy.” Iridiana asks again as she steps towards me, but I quickly step away.
“You can’t hide your eyes forever, dear Lonnie. People will find out about your changes.” The voice spoke up again.
“Just quit it! Go away!” I hissed at the voice again.
“Oh. I’m sorry that I bothered you.” Iridiana says sounding hurt.
“What? No wait! I wasn’t-” I apologize but stop when I realize I can’t tell her about a voice in my head. She will think that I’m crazy!
I let out a groan of frustration when she walks away. I lean against a tree, feeling upset that she heard what I said to my stupid voice in my head and thought I said it to her. I have to apologize to her when I can figure out how to change back to normal. I do not know how to do that though. Well, since my magic is doing this to me and I have a voice to talk to. They might tell me how to do it! They have to! I need to be normal again. I can’t be like this forever.
“How can I change back to normal again?” I ask the voice.
I only got silence, and that confused me, since it kept bothering me when Iridiana was here. I took a deep breath before asking if it’s there. When I still didn’t get a reply, I yelled out in frustration. Of course, now it’s going to leave me alone. How typical. I still have to figure out what to do. I groan in frustration as nothing comes to mind. There’s nothing I can do but head back to my room. Hopefully, the club members aren’t there. I don’t want to run into anyone, so hopefully everyone is back in class. I have a complexion and a voice to deal with. 


I’ve been pacing in my room all week. I’ve missed school all week and I know the teachers probably hate me for it. But what am I supposed to do? My complexion kept changing and I haven’t heard from that voice all week! Maybe I was just hearing things after all. Damn it! I’m going insane! I’m freaking out, though. My hair is almost a black color, and my eyes are practically white and glowing brightly. I’m so pale, it looks like I’m seriously sick. The worst part is, my body changed as well. My stomach shrunk, making me thinner than my average self. My boobs and butt grew bigger and my freckles even disappeared. My hips even widen a bit! I barley fit into my clothes anymore! I’ve been so scared to leave my room that I locked everything up and I moved furniture in front of my door.
My heart hasn’t calmed down since I saw my new complexion. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t left this room all week, and I’m supposed to meet with Craig tomorrow at the church. What’s he going to say when he notices my new complexion? This is just too much. I can’t handle this. This school literally changed me and it’s not for the better. I liked my old self, and I liked how my life was before. I wish I never moved here in the first place! This place sucks! I yelled in my mind, feeling like crying.
“You shouldn’t blame the place for what’s happening to you.” The voice spoke up, making me jump.
“So you are real! Where the hell were you when I needed you!” I growled at the voice.
“You told me to go away, so I went away.” The voice tells me matter of fact.
“What! You didn’t listen the first time I told you to go away, but you listen to me the second time? But why did you stay away for a week? You made me think I was insane!” I yell at the voice.
“That’s your problem. Not mine.” The voice responds.
“What! Why you lousy piece of a-”
“Careful dear Lonnie. Don’t get so worked up just from a simple comment.” The voice warns me.
“I’m not worked up!” I yell at the voice before taking a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.
“Right.” The voice says.
“Just help me change back to normal. I can’t walk around looking like this.” I tell the voice annoyed.
“Change back? I can’t do that.” The voice tells me simply.
“Please! I need to be normal again! Please help me!” I beg the voice, which seemed very weird.
“Are you-are you begging me?” The voice asks, stunned.
“Yes, I am. So please help me mysterious voice inside of my mind!” I begged the voice again.
“I have a name, you know? Its Jozannon.” The voice tells me, annoyed.
“Joz what?” I ask, confused.
“Jozannon. It’s very popular from where I come from.” The voice explains to me proudly.
“And where do you come from? I thought you appeared because of my magic?” I ask, confused.
“Oh! Uh I did. Lonnie dear, it’s complicated, and it’s in my contract to not tell you anything.” Joz tells me firmly.
“What? Why not?” I ask upset and annoyed by what he said.
“It’s in my contact. I can’t break it.” Joz says simply.
“That’s not fair! You‘re inside of my mind! I should know why you‘re in my mind and how come you‘re connected to my magic source. I have the right Joz!” I growled at him.
“Listen, dear Lonnie. It’s in my contract to not say anything. I’m only allowed to explain things if you find out on your own. It’s not my fault he made the contract that way. I just follow orders.” Joz hissed at me.
“Whose orders? Who is this he? Tell me!” I yell at him.
“I just told you I can’t!” Joz growls.
“Well, I say that you can. If you‘re in my mind and connected to my magic, then that means I’m the boss here. Listen to me!” I yell at him, thinking that I won the argument.
“You don’t get it, Lonnie dear.” Joz says letting out a sigh.
“What do I not get?” I ask, trying to keep myself calm.
“Try to understand when I tell you this, dear Lonnie. But, your magic source isn’t yours to control. It was never yours to begin with. The only reason you could connect with it to begin with is because of me.” Joz explains to me slowly but I still didn’t understand what he was trying to say. How can the magic source not be mine?
“What are you talking about?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“That magic source inside of you isn’t yours, but is mine.” Joz explains to me, making me almost faint. 

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