Sorrow & Mercy: a Great Ace Attorney AU

PART II: Years of Ink

My Dearest Barok,

Please forgive me for taking so long to write, as I always promised I would. And for never saying my goodbyes, as I so dearly wished.

I have been back in Japan for several months now, but I could not bring myself to write. Mrs. Asogi passed away only a month or two after my return. It seems Genshin-sama's loss was too much for her heart to bear.

We are living in my father's house now. All of us together. Obaachan. Father. Kazuma-sama. I worry so much for him. He is so quiet and so burdened. And I do not know how to help him. Sometimes I wish I was the only one hurting. It is so much easier to deal with my own pain than to witness those I love so lost to grief.

Seeing Kazuma-sama's state, I cannot help but think of you. How much more you must be hurting than even I am, since you have no family to lean upon. I dearly wish I could be at your side and Kazuma-sama's at the same time. I miss you so fiercely.

I understand if you do not wish to write back to me, if it is too hard to put into words any of your feelings. And if you disdain me for the way I left.

I keep thinking of how I saw you, through the doorway, mourning. If I had known it was the last time, I would have run to you.

Please, forgive me. And please take care of yourself.

I pray we shall see one another again.

With all the love in my heart,

Susato Mikotoba

***

My Dearest Barok,

I hope it is alright that I continue to send these letters to you. I know this is only the second one, but I do not want to burden you with my words. However, I am being entirely honest when I say that I did not expect a reply to my first letter, and it is alright if you do not have it in your heart to reply to this one either.

Too much has happened. I feel like I am drowning. I know it is unfair of me to say this. Surely you have been feeling that very same way ever since last year. But obaachan is gone now too.

I've been so lost in mourning that I have barely spoken to anyone for months. All the people who have raised me are gone. I know my father is here now, but it still feels so strange around him. He is just learning who I am, and now my obaachan is gone.

I told her a bit about you. I so dearly wish you could have met. She thought you sounded so wonderful.

Please, be well. I could not bear it if anything happened to you.

With all the love in my heart,

Susato Mikotoba

***

My Dearest Barok,

I am so sorry that my first two letters were so full of sorrow. That is not the sort of thing anyone wishes to read. So I waited until I could think of something a measure more pleasant to write about.

Some old books we read together in London have finally made their way to Japan. I found one in Japanese! It made me feel so warm, thinking about the days we sat in the drawing room together. Those memories are so painful, but I find myself holding them more tightly than ever.

I think it is because I miss you so dearly. It is still so hard to speak about my time in Britain. But I hope, in time, that I will be able to tell Kazuma-sama all about those days.