The Don

56

Kiara

"Okay Karate kid, let em have it."

"Very funny Sergio."

"Non fermarti sul mio conto"
(Don't stop on my account)

"Ho finito comunque" I told him as I took off the gloves.
(I'm done anyway)

I let my hair down and removed my jacket. Sergio handed me the bottle of water and I thanked him as I drank from it. Another month has passed since I've been here and it's getting more and more frustrating. I feel like a failure as a mother. I'm here not missing any meals, sleeping more peacefully than I have in a long time and yet my son is nowhere near me. It makes me feel like a bad parent. I feel guilty when I catch myself smiling too hard. I can never do anything right. I haven't enjoyed myself in a while. Sure, I feel somewhat free being here but with Dario a not so far thought in the back of my head I'm not completely free. I'm not even in his range and yet I feel like all he has to do is reach for me and he'll have me. I may not have a ring on my finger anymore but the fact that I am Mrs.Romano hasn't changed. I am the wife of the most powerful man in Italy. I feel shackled to this man and the longer I stay away from him, the tighter the shackles get. I think of him just watching me sleep at night waiting for the right moment to strike and it terrifies me to the core. I don't know how long I could keep living like this, if it's living at all.

Every time I reflect on my life I regret the way I used to take my life back home for granted. Things were difficult in America but not like this. I had reasons to be grateful. I had a job, my mom, a boyfriend, Kiana and most importantly I had my freedom. Now, all that i once had is gone. My boyfriend is dead thanks to my husband. My mother is also dead and there was no closure in either of their deaths. The last time I saw them alive was truly the final time that I saw them. I think to myself sometimes that maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's best that I simply remember them that way. I miss my best friend so much. I hated feeling alone in Italy with Kiana here I must admit I felt less lonely knowing my best friend was in the s am e country as me. Still, that would be me being selfish. The fact is if I could turn back the hands of time I would have never asked Dario to allow her to come to our wedding. I don't know what I was thinking and now she's stuck here. She is trapped by a Romano just as I am and despite Rafael's and Dario's actions, it is still my fault. I am solely responsible for everything that has happened to here from being kidnapped to the mental and physical abuse she endures by Rafael's hands.

"Kiara, why are you crying?"