The Perfect Embodiment (An Aleksi Kaunisvesi Story)

(38) Open are the wounds inside us all

Aleksi

  I got home from rehearsal for the Xmas on the Dark Side tour, I saw Lilith and Rilla snuggled up on the couch. Lilith was happy, while she had prepared some food and stuff. She was glowing for some reason.

"Hey baby girl!" I said to my black haired girlfriend, she rushes over to me and gives me a kiss on the lips. God, I loved her. I didn't want to leave her because of this tour. I saw Lilith had something hidden behind her back.

"Aleksi babe, I have something to tell you. I'm worried that you might not like it." She whispers, her smile dropping, and she took a deep breath and sat me down on the couch.

"What is it, baby girl?" I asked her, while I held her hand, and she took a deep breath.

"So I took a test, I'm pregnant... Well, three weeks pregnant." She whispers and places the test on the table, her green eyes clouded up with tears.

"You can't be... Lilith, you know I can't, we have a tour coming and this is too much!" I said, and Lilith nods with a fake smile.

"I knew it." She whispers, her eyes clouding up with tears. The black haired girl got up and nods.

"You know Aleksi... I think I'll spend the weekend at my mother's, and you can have the flat to yourself." Lilith says, not looking at me, I could hear her sniffing and packing up her things.

"Lilith. Look, I need sometime." I whispered and she nods through her tears.

"I understand.... Have a good tour!" She whispers numbly, and starts to stuff her things into her Louis Vuitton bag. "I knew you don't want to be with me. God, I'm so stupid!" She said. She rips off my jumper and leaves it on the bed.

She changed into her clothes and looks at me, wiping her eyes. Lilith was trying to stay strong, but I could see her struggling to stay with it. She disappears into the bathroom, her make-up all wiped off.

Her oversized square glasses are on her face. She clears her throat, I saw Rilla whimpering and pawing at her.

"I'm sorry Rilla but you can't come with me, you must stay with your dad." She said while petting the dog. Lilith stands up, and walks over to me.

"Lilith." I say. She takes a deep breath and walks away.

"Bye Aleksi, have a good tour! I'll miss you." She whispers and gives me a sweet kiss.

It felt like the first day all over again.

Lilith

Aleksi didn't take the news to well, I knew it. I gave him a sweet kiss and my heels clicked against the pavement, my Louis Vuitton weekend bag slung over my shoulder.

My oversize Bogetta Veneta sunglasses framed my face, I walked toward my white BMW and popped the boot. This was it again, the downfall. I sighed, I knew I had to be strong for my baby no matter what. With or without Aleksi, I would raise this child with all the love.

I took a deep breath and got into the car and drove off, to my parents home and I knocked on the door.

"Hi Paisley!" I said with a smile, I knew I belonged here. I took a deep breath, and walked in. My mum was showing, she was happy to see me.

"So no Aleksi?" She asks and I shook my head no. I excused myself, I went upstairs and got to my childhood room. I touched my stomach.

Pregnant and alone, Aleksi didn't want to be a father. But it was only me and my little one, I had to make sure to take care of myself. Because boyfriends come and go, loved ones come and go. But I have myself now.

"Looks like it's us now. Your dad doesn't want us. But we'll be okay won't we?" I whispered to my flat stomach, knowing that nine months I would be carrying a fully developed human.

I got inspired and started writing some more lyrics for Dark Adrenaline. I missed my boys jamming with them and especially I saw an email from Century Media records expecting us to speak about an EP.

I responded, it was time to take control of my future. Pregnant or not this child needs me. I saw a wallpaper of Aleksi and I, the moments of how happy we looked.

Again, I felt so cold and alone. My heart broke but I needed to brave. I felt a tear stream down my face, I leaned against the window sighing and I just cried.

Why me? Why did I have to go through this? First the marriage he had, I dealt with it. Then forgetting him and then remembering him and loving him so damn much. And once again here I am losing him, I sighed.

"Why me?" I whisper to myself sighing deeply. I messaged my band mates that we had to meet through Telegram.

(The Next Day)

I numbly got dressed. I wore my favourite burgundy pencil dress with nude heels, a black blazer and did my make-up. I put on my Buffy lipstick.

"Good morning Lilith!" Liz says as I faked a smile, I looked down and saw the Cartier love ring Aleksi had gifted me. It had his name, Rilla's and mine on there. I sighed.

"Good morning El Liz." I said with a fake smile, I managed to get through the charts and stuff. Dealing with patients. Lunch came about, I sat silently stabbing at my salad not even hungry.

"So how did Aleksi take the baby news?" Liz asks me and I sighed.

"Not so good Liz, why does it feel like I've lost him again? Like this voice inside is telling me I've lost him." I said with a tear streaming down my face. Thank God for waterproof mascara and liner.

"Maybe he needs time." She says and I nodded. I realised I need some more stuff and had to get it from his place.

"Lilith?" Aleksi asks me as I stepped into the flat.

"I'm just here for my stuff." I whispered, pushing past him and getting more clothes.

"Lilith listen I'm not asking you to move out." Aleksi says, I stopped him by raising a hand.

"Aleksi I've almost lost you twice, first I left then this memory stuff. But you don't want this baby with me! What's the point? I think this tour is good." I whispered and cup his face. His blue eyes glanced into mine.

"Lilith I'm sorry!" Aleksi whispers and I held his cheeks and faked a smile.

"Aleksi I love you, I mean no matter what I'll always love you whether or not you decide to come to me and if not I'll always love you." I whispered and place a kiss on his lips and walked out.

The hardest thing you ever do is letting the one you love you. Maybe he'll come back or not... But whatever the future brought I was ready.

Open are the wounds inside us all

A/N: Oh no... Aleksi didn't take the baby news well... What will happen during Lilith's and Aleksi's time apart? Will Aleksi realise he made a mistake? Will Lilith bump into a new old friend? Comment your thoughts and ideas of what will happen! - Nantia

P.S: Shout-out to the amazing @xiyang93 and @IamLizziet and @myheartisahurricane for all the love and support you give me! And of course to my fellow Brit @-sharksloveblood- Much love you all! 🖤

Song: What Lies Ahead by Semblant