(45) Dear God

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Lilith

  Finally, approaching week 40 of the pregnancy, let's just say that was the most intense nine months. The baby was ready to come any moment, I was scared, to say the least.

What if something goes wrong? I was terrified but excited to meet her, Aleksi and I were in the recording studio.

He decided to bring me along, in case something happened. We also left the pregnancy bag in the car. Olli was recording his bass parts, while I sat on the couch listening to their bantering, which caused me to giggle.

I played with my emerald green engagement ring, the rumination and self-doubt came in. What if when the baby came, he wouldn't want to be a part of her life.

What if he didn't want to marry me anymore? What if something happened to the baby while I was giving birth?

My thoughts were swirling around, each thought was plaguing me. Was I ready to face rejection?

But after all, we had been through together. The biggest question for me was: Were we ready to have this baby? Tommi had joined us also, we were having a conversation.

"Lilith, were you listening to what I was saying?" Tommi questions me, while I look over at him. Was I listening?
No, I was stuck in my rumination. I just wanted to get outside, so I decided to pick up a water bottle, while Olli and Aleksi were working.

Tommi followed me outside, while we both got our jackets on.

"If I'm truthful, I wasn't listening!" I whispered to the tall man beside me. He knew that something was troubling me, and he was listening. Until I felt something trickle down my leg, I gasped.

Tommi's blue eyes glanced at me.

"Lilith, what's the matter?" Tommi asks me.

"My water just broke!" I said. Just then, Aleksi and Olli were walking out. I felt a contraction.

"Aleksi and Olli get your fucking asses out here! Lilith's water just broke!" Tommi yells, while he scooped me and pulled me toward the van.

"Aleksi, you give me your car key, I will follow you guys to the hospital!" Olli said, while Aleksi threw Olli his car keys.

Tommi placed me in the back seat, while Aleksi climbed in next to me. Tommi was fast and furious on the street, I could hear him swearing in Finnish which caused me to laugh.  Another contraction came, while Aleksi was helping me breathe through the pain.

"Breathe Lilith!" Aleksi said. I was annoyed at him.

"It's easy for you to say. You don't have a fucking baby in your stomach that is kicking you like a football!"  I said. The rest felt like a blur. Tommi pulled up in front of the emergency room.

Aleksi wheeled me inside in the wheelchair, he saw a nurse.

"Help my fiancée is in labour!" Aleksi yells while the hospital rushes over to me, and they are taking me inside. Aleksi called my mother, I was scared.

I needed my mum here with me, I was so nervous. I didn't want Aleksi to witness the chaos and carnage of giving birth, although he was curious about how a baby was to be delivered, and he watched a video.

He looked so pale afterwards, so I didn't want to scare him with the details. Aleksi decided to come into the room, I wasn't dilated enough yet to give birth.

So I had to wait for a little while. I saw my mother rushing into the room while Aleksi stood talking with her. I felt another contraction pain, while the nurse came in.

My mother Vivian, Mrs Kaunisvesi and Aleksi were in the room with me. They gave me an epidural, so I had to wait for it to be in effect. They were dressed in blue scrubs.

"I'm scared Aleksi!" I whispered to him, he sat next to me and held my hand.

"You're strong Aleksi, you can do this." He said to me, I felt another contraction kick and I let out a cry of pain. This was going to be a long night for sure, it was going to be a nightmare.

"Alright Miss Pendragon it's time for you to push now." The doctor said, while I was dilated already. I held my mothers hand, I didn't hold Aleksi's because I didn't want to crush his hand.

"One more push!" The midwife said, as I pushed and let out a cry and managed to push harder. I fell against the bed exhausted, but there was no cry. Did I give birth to a still baby?

"What's wrong with my baby? Why isn't she crying?" I asked, while they rushed to cut the umbilical cord.

My fear factor was kicking in. What if I gave birth to a still born baby?

I was scared, I hope that my baby didn't die. How could I lose her? I was feeling light headed.

"She's losing blood! Everyone out of the room right now!" The doctors yelled.

"Lilith stay with me!" Aleksi yells at me, trying to shake me. It was too late because blackness consumed me.

Aleksi

They kicked me and Vivian outside of the room. Come on, I couldn't lose my fiancée and child in one day. After all we had been through, just everything was gone with the wind and scattered away like ashes.

"Relax Aleksi, they're in good hands." Vivian said, I found myself collapsing into the chair sighing. I saw the boys rushing in.

"How's the baby? How's Lilith? Can we see her?" Niko asks me, with a smile. I sighed.

"Lilith bled out and the baby wasn't breathing, so they're trying to bring to fix them." I whisper while I sat down with a sigh. We saw the doctor rush out.

"Pendragon family?" The doctor called out, I found myself standing.

"Yes." We all said in unison.

"Good news the baby is doing well." The doctor said, I let out a sigh of relief.

"How about Lilith?" I asked the doctor.

"Well...." The doctor said, Please don't  tell me, I lost her again. I couldn't lose her, but whatever happens. I needed to be strong for the baby. Was she dead? Did she leave me? I couldn't take care of this baby alone, I needed her.

It triggered the memory of getting the call that Lilith was in a car accident, then her waking up and not remembering me. Was I living in a nightmare? Why was the universe so against us?

"She's in the operating room, we're trying our hardest to stop the bleeding." The doctor whispers to me.

"In the meantime, would you like to meet your daughter?" The doctor asked me and I nodded.

This was a part of me and Lilith, so of course I did want to meet my child. I followed him down the hall, praying in my heart. Lilith would be okay.

I walked into Lilith's room, there laid a little build in the plastic crib wrapped in yellow.

"Congratulations, it's a baby girl." The nurse said, I wore the blue scrubs.

"Is it okay if I held her?" I whisper to the nurse. She nods. I was met by a mixture of blueish green eyes looking into mine.

"Hey there." I whisper while holding the baby close to me. I can't believe she's mine. She was so beautiful, I sat down in the chair with her.

"You'll meet your mother soon. I hope." I whispered to the tiny baby.

"Dear God,  please bring Lilith back to us." I whisper.

A/N: Well... Queen of drama is back at it again! Do you think Lilith survived her surgery? Will Lilith make it? Final chapter coming real soon! - MyVictim

P.S: I want to say thank you to everyone who stuck around to stick this story! Also thank you everyone for making Skyfall hit 7k, your votes and comments mean a lot to me! Thank you all for putting up with my annoying ass! Shoutout to el besties: @IamLizziet, @sharksloveblood and @myheartisahurricane for their constant support!
Until next time! Much love!

Song: Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold

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