Perfect Facade[Asano Gakushuu x Reader]

t h i r t y - s e v e n : his regret

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The last thing Gakushuu expected was to see [Name] in class. It was already late in the evening, and everyone except for the student councillors had already gone home for the day. He had returned to class to retrieve the last few remainders of his items when he found the note that [Name] left him. He stared at the note that was sticking out of his textbook, wondering what he should do with it. It's been some time since the notes started coming in, and he had been keeping all of the notes inside his bag.

Every piece that [Name] gave, he had kept it strewn around his bag. His pride refuse to let him be seen with her notes, in his logic it's embarrasing to be seen receiving notes from someone that you're giving the silent treatment to. It doesn't make sense but ego gets the best of everyone.

Gakushuu opened his bag, wanting to put in his items, only to pause and stare at the notes that he had shoved inside. Each of them were crumpled, thrown and in a disarray, a complete eyesore compared to his neatly arranged books. The small pocket that he had used to store them in had opened up again.

It was infuriating, to see everything in a mess. Her notes had made a mess in his bag, just like how she had made a mess of his mind.

His anger and frustrations had been filled to the brim, and the mess had only made it spilled. Without a second thought, he grabbed every single piece of her notes, grasping them in his fist. He found himself infront of the class trashbin, as his hands crumpled the paper notes firmly into tiny bits. Each of them fell so gently, as if the words written on them had slowed their fall with the sincere feelings that was put in them.

Gakushuu had failed to notice a new presence in the room. When he heard the shuffling of a chair, his head snapped to the sound, shock widening his eyes as his gaze landed on the one that he had hurt.

His eyes landed on [Name]'s hands first, watching her calmly take out a few pieces of paper from under her desk. It trailed upwards, from her arms before it reached her face and his heart immediately sank lower than it did before.

[Last Name] [Name] is a person with multiple masks. She had so many of it that it was difficult to know who she truly was. However, in that moment, her bareface had came into the light. Raw emotions, something that she had never dared show but now its in full view of the one who had hurt her.

In his words, she had a blank stare but with bitten lips, her eyebrows curved downwards that her nose started to scrunch. The lines that formed from her nose lead out to her eyes, and he swore that her pupils were shaking. It felt as if he was looking at a malfunctioning robot, one that used to ran so perfectly until it didn't. Her face had an overdrive, and she didn't had the energy to hide it.

"[Last Name]" Gakushuu called out, his words laced with regret. His voice reached her, but all she reacted was with an eye twitch.

"[Last Name]" He called again, this time even softer to disguise the slight break in his voice, turning his entire body to face her, but she already had her back face against him.

When she started to walk away, he wanted to run after her, grab her hand and say "I'm sorry" but his pride clinged onto him stronger than his wants. His stomach curled as he stood there still, watching [Name] disappear from behind the classroom door. The heavy feeling in his chest fell to his feet, planting him still in where he was. He did absolutely nothing, because all he had inside him was a turmoil that he couldn't stomach.

Something in Gakushuu snapped and he immediately went on his knees to retrieved her notes that he had heartlessly crushed. His fingers trembled as he unfurled each one of them, savouring [Name]'s handwriting as his guilt dawned on him. The moment she turned her back against him was when he realised truly how much [Name] wanted to bond with him, to be on his side and not give up on him. There wasn't a time where she ever left his side, even in all the times she disagreed with his ideals or get mad, she was still there.

But now, she had truly given up on him because he pushed her away.

Asano Gakushuu never expected for himself to ever kneel infront of a trashbin, but there he was, on his kneels as he read every single note [Name] had given him. Words come off as sincere when it's written down by hand, and despite having read so many handwritten letters, it was the first time Gakushuu ever felt moved by simple words.

As he read more of them, the more he realised that [Name] had been watching over him, keeping an eye out for him. All because she cared for him, even when he didn't. His parents never put in so much effort into caring for him, and so did his friends. None of them would bother to remind him about the little details, because he's the great Asano Gakushuu, he can do everything!

But [Name] saw him as simply a regular teenage boy, one that makes mistakes and can't do everything. She didn't enforce any high expectations from him, all she wanted was just a friend, a connection as a human.

She made him feel human, for once. Not a study machine, or the perfect son. He's just Asano Gakushuu and nothing more.

Yet he still pushed her away, shouting words that he didn't mean. The memory of him screaming for her to shut up entered his mind, as the details of her expression reappeared before him. Sunken shoulders and eyes that were swelled with tears, he can't believe that he had made her cry. No, he still couldn't believe that he had cursed at her. There was a time where he thought to himself that he would always be there for [Name], to see her smile and be happy, not to crush her.

He had to apologise, to beg her for her forgiveness for constantly pushing her away and hurting her even when she already been hurt enough by others. Lastly, he needed to hear her voice again. He didn't wanted her to stop talking to him, he didn't wanted her to shut up.

With all the strength he could muster, he stood back up, phone in his hand. His fingertips reached for [Name]'s contact, watching his phone screen dial. The vibrations lasted momentarily, until the unanswered call screen appeared. He tried again, but the same result occured once more.

"She's probably still mad at me, I'll try again tonight" He thought to himself, but later that night he tried multiple times and once again each went unanswered.

The weekend came and he tried once more, at different intervals of the day but yet, each call went unanswered. The phone would ring, but it was never accepted or declined.

At some point Gakushuu started getting frustrated, but he knew that if he did he would be doing the same thing over again. So he waited until Monday arrived, to see her at school and talk to her.

Yet, just like his calls, she ghosted him. [Name] didn't came back after that day, her friends put it off as her sick day because it was flu season. So he never saw her again, it was as if she just had disappeared, from beyond the classroom doors.

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surprise i'm back B)

Btw im here to announce that there's gonna be weekly updates until this book ends!!! I made a few more chapters prior so I can do this with ease

This book will be updated every Thursday 7pm SGT so stay tune ;D (this was supposed to be updated on thurs 7pm sgt but im overseas 😭)

Thank you for sticking with me even though i disappeared for literally two years, I'm still glad to see there's still some Gakushuu Asano stans here

Once again thank you for still reading and I'll see u next week ;D