American Boy ✔️

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven: Not Forget

Habang tumatanda ako, mas lalo akong nagiisip about sa future ko at sa kung ano mang plano kong gawin sa buhay ko pagkatapos ng high school. I know, bata pa 'ko.

Matagal pa yun, pero masyadong mabilis ang oras. Just like how you play basketball with your friends in the morning, not realizing that it's actually afternoon now... it's all fast.

Sometimes I wish I could stop the time so I could spend it more by myself or with someone else. Marami akong gustong gawin sa isang araw, pero parang hindi ko lahat magawa yun dahil sobrang konti at bilis ng oras sa isang araw.

Twenty-four hours is a lot, but we sleep after and wake up with only a few more hours left. It sucks, it really sucks.

It's not just when you play basketball, sometimes when you think about something... and when you're waiting for someone. 'Di nawala sa isip ko yung araw na nireject ako ni Alexander, sinabi niya lang na 'wag akong mahulog sa kanya as if madaling gawin yun kapag lagi siyang malapit sa'kin.

We're friends, and he liked that. I liked that too, but of course, gusto ko siya. Gustong gusto ko siya.

Unti-unti nang bumabalik ang pagkakaibigan na'min. We never saw each other during summer break hanggang simula nung klase na'min as juniors, turns out na iba na ang section na'ming dalawa.

I was pissed, irritated, sad... I was worried. Naisip ko na 'di ko na siya makikita, ang dami 'kong naisip na baka hindi niya na 'ko kaibiganin at may mahanap na siyang ibang bago niyang kaibigan... na babae. I hated overthinking, I really do.

We still acted normal after that day. We said our 'good mornings' and then our 'goodbyes', it was normal. All normal.

Nakakainis. Nakakainis lang talaga. Bakit normal lang? Bakit ganun? May ngiti pang kasama sa tuwing nagtatama yung mga na'min. I didn't want that, I didn't want anything but for him to tell him that he likes me too.

He just rejected me... told me to not fall for him.

Normally sa mga libro, maiinis yung babae o yung lalaking umamin... but here I am. Acting so stupid because I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I'm selfish. So selfish. But I can't be selfish when it comes to him. Feeling ko masisira ko yung pagkakaibigan na'min kung ipupwersa kong pagisipan niya ulet yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya. I don't want that, but I still... I still like him.

"Rina." ramdam ko yung kamay niya sa may braso ko at nabalik agad ako sa realidad.

My thoughts are drowning me, it's slowly consuming me. Seriously... just... I need to stop thinking.

I smiled at him and took a piece of the tatter tots and averted my eyes from him. Kinabahan nanaman ako, especially kung ganyan siya makatitig sa'kin as if marami siyang gustong sabihin sa'kin. I'm used to it, but it still affects me.

"Hm?"

"What's going on inside that beautiful mind of yours...?" tanong niya sa mababang boses sabay kagat sa sandwich niya.

And this is not helping me to NOT fall for him.

"Iniisip ko lang yung exam this month."

"Di mo naman na kailangang isipin yung mga ganyang bagay, Rina. You're intelligent." he smiles.

"Nambola ka pa, Alexander." I chuckled and threw one tater tots at his face.