American Boy ✔️

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six: Isn't This Great?

I was in sixth grade when I first met Alexander.

We met at the soda machine next to the entrance of the school library, we became friends and then close friends, the only problem was that I fell in love with him.

I confessed to him my feelings numerous times, but in the end, he never told me he felt the same thing.

He said I was too good for him, and that's what I didn't understand about him.

I thought something was up with him, but no... I realized that day that he really just didn't like me.

He loved me as his friend, and it will forever stay that way.

Dapat sinabi niya na lang sa akin yung totoo, e 'di sana nahanda ko ang sarili ko. I was hurt, I cried, and threw everything away, and for the first time I hated him and everyone.

Pero kaibigan ko pa rin siya, kaya alam ko na kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ko pwedeng sirain ang pagkakaibigan namin dahil lang sa nakita roon sa loob ng banyo nung may kahalikan siyang ibang babae.

I accepted it. I accepted the fact that Alexander Seth Cardoza will never love me.

Alam ko, alam ko na. Pero bakit hanggang ngayon parang hinahabol pa rin ako ng nakaraan ko?

I had to end it, my feelings for Alexander, I tried to become better, we were still friends but something was changing.

No, it's not changing, something ended, someone's trust had been broken.

When I got my first boyfriend, hindi ko naman balak na itago sa mga kaibigan ko yun, it's normal to be in a relationship too, at first pinagtawanan lang ni Alexander na may boyfriend na 'ko, the next day parang normal lang siya.

Pero years later, two or three weeks before now, nung nalaman niya na nagkaroon pala talaga ako nang boyfriend, galit siya.

Naintindihan ko naman kung bakit siya galit, I guess he thought I didn't trust him enough, that I hated him and that's why I hid it from him.

Ang 'di niya naiintindihan ay kaibigan ko lang siya, hindi ko siya kapatid, hindi siya si Genevieve, hindi siya ganoon kaimportante sa buhay ko.

"Grabe, Rina."

"Huh?" tinapon ni Silas yung iniinom niyang gatas at humarap siya ulet sa'kin na may kasama pang misteryosong ngiti sa labi niya.

"You know that you'll only piss him off even more if you told him that."

"What? Ano naman kung yun ang sabihin ko sa kanya? He is wrong, Silas."

"Yes, and right when he's just about to probably apologize, you ran like... a coward, Katerina." tawa niyang sabi.

Just thinking about it annoys me. Ano bang meron sa'kin at talagang tumakbo ako? Isn't this what I wanted? For him to talk to me first and then have a talk about what happened that night?

"He is trying to make it up to you."

"Make it up? He'll have to work harder."

Paano ko ngayon ieexplain kay Alexander kung bakit ako tumakbo?

Natatakot tuloy ako, anong gagawin ko?

Anong sasabihin ko sa kanya? Malalaman niya agad kapag nagsinunganling ako, wala naman kasi akong maisasagot din.

Ang alam ko lang ay takot ako na makita siya at tanungin kung bakit nga ba niya yun sinabi sa'kin, natatakot ako na baka may mabuo ulet sa dibdib ko, pero wala namang mabubuo dahil matagal na 'kong nakamove on, 'di ba?