American Boy ✔️

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty: From You

"Rina..." napapikit ako nang marinig ko ang mismo kong pangalan mula sa labi niya.

Ayoko na siyang tingnan, ayoko na siyang kausapin. Pagod na 'ko, ayoko na ni'to, gabing-gabi na at talagang nandito pa siya? I wanted a family, but that must've been a naive dream of mine, isn't it?

"Listen to me, ito ang tama para sa'yo." huminga ako nang malalim, ilang beses ko nang narinig 'to galing sa kanya sa tuwing nag-aaway silang dalawa ni mommy, ayoko na.

It sucks hearing this from him over and over again but it's worse when I'm the one he's talking to right now.

"Living with me would be a better place for you, ayaw mo bang mag-aral sa mas magandang unibersidad pagkatapos mo nang senior high school?" he pause, laughing.

"I've been trying to help your mother but she wouldn't let me. All I want is for you to have a good life." binuksan ko ang mga mata ko at halata kay mommy na pagod na rin siya pero 'di lang siya nagsasalita.

"Dad." tiningnan ko siya at nawala ang ngiti niya agad nang makita niya ang sama ng mga mata ko.

It's fucking evening and you know what I want?

Some fucking sleep.

May klase ako bukas, importante pa ang klase na yun, I don't need this negativity coming from someone like him.

"No."

"What? What do you mean 'no', Katerina?"

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya, hindi pa rin nagbabadiya ang ekspresyon at ang sama mula sa mga mata ko.

I hate being upset because I know what kind of person I become whenever I'm upset about something.

"Ayoko. No. Never. Ayokong tumira doon sa bahay mo at bahay nang pamilya mo, no."

"Katerina, I don't think you understand."

"Oh, I do understand, dad. I have ears and I have a brain that functions very well. Pagod na 'kong makinig sa boses mo sa tuwing nag-aaway kayo ni mommy, I'm so tired, dad."

Siguro noong bata ako, masaya na 'ko kapag nakikita ko yung tatay ko.

I was curious where he was and why he didn't live with us.

My parents's story will always be confusing to me.

At pagod na 'kong maghintay na baka balang araw magiging maayos ang lahat, pero wala... puro away, away, at away ulet.

"I'm tired of you and mom fighting over me. So stop this. Don't ask for me again to live with you because it will never happen, ever. I am choosing to be with my mother not because she forced me to, but because I am a mature, almost eighteen-year-old woman who can make their own decision."

Muntik na kong magmura pero buti na lang at pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. I don't want to pull a Genevieve right now, not at this moment.

"Of course, of course you are my mature, gorgeous... daughter, but Katerina... please th--"

"No, Dad!" tinaas ko ang boses ko, trying to calm myself down after when a tear escaped from my right eye.

"No, please. Don't, I've already made my decision which means I've thought about this... you keep telling mom that you would understand me better than her." my throat went dry as I felt my own heart, breaking slowly.