Invincible

eighty-three

     Friday night arrived and Willa found at the last minute that she couldn’t go to Gladstone’s party with Jared. She just couldn’t. She had too many thoughts in her head, could still hear Isaac’s words and was so confused at to what she was to be supposed to be doing, what she was supposed to be feeling. She wasn’t as practiced as Isaac at covering up the storms inside with stitched-on blue sky smiles, and going and playing the happy couple with Jer seemed an impossible task.

     So she texted him that she wasn’t feeling well and was gonna give it a miss, sorry. He texted back,

    ‘hope you feel better! I might still go idk. You wanna do something else or just have the night to yourself?’

    ‘just gonna have an early night I think,’ she returned, and he texted back acknowledgment.

     That done, she put her phone on her bedside table and curled up in her duvet, sliding Teen Wolf Season 3A into her laptop and plugging her headphones ready to try and forget everything. She was asleep by eleven, exhausted by the week they’d had.

--------o--------

     Jared, on the other hand, headed to the party in his desperate quest for distractions. Gladstone was already pretty wasted by the time Jared arrived, a stumbly, happy drunk who threw his arms round Jared and yelled,

    “HAVE A DRINK! HAVE A DRINK, BRO! HAVE A FUCKING DRINK!”

     Nearly four hours later and Jared’s head felt heavy and dizzy but it was nice, to be fuzzy, to not have to think. It was a vision of life with the edges taken off and it was so much easier to look at. The music pounded through him, some beat he didn’t recognise, and everything was hot and blurry and slightly stuffy. The beer in his hand was warm and kinda gross and he couldn’t remember for the fucking life of him what number drink it was, but that didn’t seem to matter right now. He was smiling widely, meaninglessly when he caught sight of Isaac. He hadn't known- he hadn't known Isaac was coming, that he'd be here (his hazy mind didn’t put up too much of a fuss when his eyes told him how fucking gorgeous Isaac looked, cheeks flushed and hair just that tiny bit sweaty so that it stuck up all over the place). It wasn’t just Isaac he’d spotted, though. There was Ari too, on the dance floor, pulling Isaac closer to him-

     Jared’s lax smile dropped off his face.

    “Fuck no,” he heard himself slur, stomach roiling at Ari’s hands all over Isaac’s body, caressing him as he brought him even nearer. And fuck, Ari’s hands were on Isaac’s arse and it took all Jared’s strength not to run over and tear him off and punch him.

     Isaac looked up, then, as if he’d heard Jared’s screaming thoughts. His eyes were dull, tired, cold. Then he raised one eyebrow, gaze fixed coolly on Jared as he pressed his lips to Ari’s.

     Jared’s mind blanked out for a second, a ringing in his ears as he stood and stared. Ari kissed back aggressively, tugging Isaac’s head back by his hair and biting and sucking at his lips like some sort of dementor.

    “Fuck,” Jared said again. He wanted to go over and break them up but he couldn’t, Isaac would hate him… But that wasn’t how Isaac deserved to be kissed. He didn’t deserve kisses that just took, he deserved all the love you could give, all the feeling you could pour out to him like an offering. He deserved kisses that fucking gave.

     Jared felt sick. He turned away trying to block the ringing in his ears, trying to choke down the lump in his throat. He was so fucking drunk, he couldn’t see straight as he stumbled out of the hallway and into the fresh cool of the night air.

    “You okay?” came the voice of a happy-sounding Gladstone next to him.

    “No,” said Jared. Then, “Just- fuck off, will you. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

     Gladstone held his hands up in surrender.

    “Oookay, Mr Grumpy,” he said with a tipsy laugh, and retreated back into the house.