Hidan's crazy ducking daughter

Hi my name is....

Aiko sighed at feeling all the base members stare at her. No one but Konan had said anything about the girl screaming in a below bunker though they all heard it. She set her brush down. And looked at Aiko for a while.

-

"So I suppose we are all going with the plan to ignore the screeching child below us and stare at the party responsible for it?" She said and I glowered at the only other female in the base besides Deidara that is. Konan gave me a small smile and I nearly stumbled as I stood off the couch. What the hell was she smiling for? I quickly turned the other way and went into the kitchen.

I can't understand this. In an organization with so many people you would think at least enough people knew how to cook well to switch the duty around the week. I went into cooking my breakfast noticing the further along I got the more members began watching over my shoulder, the more to irritate me. French toast, eggs, oatmeal, and biscuits with hot chocolate made with real milk.

By the time I was completely finished they were all drooling over my plate except of course Konan, Pain, and Itachi. The two leaders sat at the breakfast table going over something with a map. "Itachi come here for a moment please?" Itachi looked at me with his Sharingan eyes but didn't active his Genjutsu. He stood from his place on the couch and came over.

"Yes Aiko?" I began eating on my toast.

"mmf hth hdvd dush"

"Don't talk with your mouth fulk-" I shoved the other toast into his mouth I couldn't help laughing as he tried not to choke to death. He stared at me for a long time after the bread threat was gone.

"What? I was just offering you some toast. I know your hungry I can hear your growls." On cue his stomach answered me. I offered half of my plate which he reluctantly accepted. I stood up with the other half and looked fleetingly over Konan's shoulder then stopped, setting my food down; I took the map and paper out of Pain and Konan's hands.

"Are you guys complete idiots? I set the map down in front of them and looked at the legend. I pointed to the base and trailed a line through the green spikes at one side of it. "Here, this is where you send Itachi, Kakuzu and Hidan." Konan stared up at me clearly not understanding what I was doing. I pointed to an area that was all brown. "Deidara and Sasori takes this area." I looked and found a spot of blue surrounded by the green spikes a little ways away from the base. Have Kisame lure them here and then Have Zetsu keep an eye on all of them while you two are here." I slapped the base with my finger. "You guys should get to work making that underground lair deeper and then filling the top so as to fool earth types that there is no such lair underneath." Pain suddenly picked the map up and gave it a thorough look then turned to me.

"Isn't that a bit...predictable? Setting everyone in an area they would have an advantage?" I shook my head a dead pan look beginning to set in.

"You really are idiots huh? You don't keep it that way do it twice then switch it up. Have Sasori accompany Kisame to the water and Have Itachi accompany Deidara." He nodded gathering all of his stuff up.

"I see, I see. That was not a terrible plan...." Before he left he looked at me and seemed to hesitate to say something so I picked my food up and made my way to the stairs. "Thank you for the help Aiko." He said it, and then everyone stared at me and waited. I think it was everyone's eye's though usually it does nothing but irritate me this time I felt my ears go hot.

"Yea whatever, no big deal right?" I said and walked down the stairs leaving them in favor of the screaming girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~

She was huddled in the corner of the her cage. Blood still stained her dress from when my bird had stuck her claws in the girls side. I slipped the rest of my food in through the bars. For a while I simply watched her.  She didn't make a move for the food until I had Damn near fallen sleep watching.

"Father's are the worst... aren't they?" My head rolled to look at her and I saw her light blue eyes staring at my own light lavender ones. All men are terrible; what every man wants from you is what's in your panties. I'm telling the truth. "Men are dogs and females are more superior than them. Did you note how he chose his wife over you, his daughter? At the moment he made that decision he abandoned you. My abducting you was in actuality a favor if you look at the situation. Now you won't ever have to get hurt by your father ever again. You don't even have to ever see him again if you don't want to."

"Its not poisoned or anything you know." She shrank back at my voice. "I probably won't hurt you as long as you stop your damn screaming." There was a whimper and I gave her a glare. It shut her right up."Eat the Damn food. I don't have time to watch over you if you plan to starve yourself to death. Do you understand?" She nodded quickly. "Good. Now eat. Also what's your sizes?" The girls eyes bulged and I chuckled before standing and leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So far it seems she's been getting along with the Akatsuki after the whole initial "I'm terrified to death of all of you freaks" Reaction she had when I first introduced her to them. 

"She seems to especially like Kisame" I observed quietly to myself. "I don't blame her if I weren't such a man-hater and maybe normal I suppose I would like Kisame as well." I admitted quietly. "He seems the easiest to get along with out of this strange group of criminals anyway."

"Aiko, who are you trying to convince?" My heart went into overdrive as my "Father" spoke out from behind me. The fact that I hadn't realized he was there behind me pissed me off. I had to train more, since coming here I've slacked too much on my physical training and instead began to focus too much on my studies.

"What the fuck do you want? I don't have time for stupid ass small talk." I He smirked playfully and I rolled my eyes.

"So..." My eyes began to glare at him on their own at the mere stupidity of this almost one-sided conversation.

"So. So what you dumb fuck. I'm trying to be patient but your making this quite hard."

"Right, right sorry. So...." I pushed him out of my way to get out of the hallway in front of Kisame's doorway but he grabbed my arm and pulled me so we were face to face. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do you like Kisame?" With no change of my facial features at all I said with a hint of irritation dripping from my voice.

"No, you dumbfuck." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and rubbed it a bit. He held his hands up as if in surrender. 

"Sure, sure I don't believe you for one second." I glanced at him with malice and his entire stance went stone still. "The....Fuck?" He managed out. I let my lips quirk up a bit in the tiniest smile.

"My iron stare, I'm surprised none of you noticed it. I've caught everyone in it besides Konan and Pain. I suppose It's a testament to how unaware you are of your surroundings or taking clues." I sighed "Its sad really, none of you seem to have any observational skills whatsoever." I turned to leave and hard him call out for me.

"Aiko? Aiko~? AIKO?! HOW LONG AM I GONNA BE STUCK LIKE THIS! AIKO?! WHAT IF I HAVE TO TAKE A PISS?!!" I grinned as I called over my shoulder.

"Don't you know? The circle you are in, is your toilet until you can find a way out of your own paralysis." The groan of annoyance he let out was not as satisfying as his screams of pain but my thirst for his miserableness was slightly quenched.