Chapter 54

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I am at the 'big house' as I call it having stayed the night with Alex

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I am at the 'big house' as I call it having stayed the night with Alex. We are all staring at Derek who is sitting in day old pyjamas and cradling a box of cereal, to be honest he looks like a mess "dude he is fried" Alex says breaking the silence, I hit his chest and frown "he is not fried" I assure him "he lost a patient and got a lawsuit all in one week, he just needs time" Alex runs a hand up and down my back comfortingly "he's been there for three days" my boyfriend argues "the cushions are bonding to his ass. And he is eating all of my cereal"

Izzie is leaning against the foot frame as she says "he's taking stock. Something huge and life-altering happened to him, and he is taking stock, figuring out his next move." I know she is thinking about Denny and my heart goes out to her, truly "we shouldn't judge and rush him." Alex scoffs and I huddle closer to him "whatever. Sylvia Plath' slicking out marshmallows. They're the best part" he says and I roll my eyes. "I'm pretty sure he's sitting on my keys" Lexie adds "I'd ask him to move, but he looks so...... comfy." Meredith sighs and looks at all of us "you guys are cowards" she says and stalks towards him.

"Hey" she says, sitting on the edge of the sofa "you're eating, that's good. Appetite is good. You know what else is good? Showering, cleansing. Water. Are you thinking you'll shower, go in to the hospital?" Before Derek answers I move out of Alex's arms and grab my keys "I've really got to get to the hospital I'll see you later" and I head out of the door. I love Derek, I really do but today I have problems of my own.


I get to the hospital and try to find Mark, I really need him today. I catch him mid conversation with Callie "then don't hit with your scalpel hand" I hear her say as I walk up, Mark looks at me for help and I shrug "can't argue with that" I say and put my hands in my pockets "ready to go?" I ask and Callie frowns looking between the two of us "go where?" I feel awkward talking about it and clearly so does Mark as he says "uhhh, to see a patient. Anyway yes I am let's go" and we both hurry down the hall.

"Hey Doctor Tearney can you look at thi-" an intern says but I hold up a hand "not right now I'm already doing something" I say shortly and press the elevator button. I bounce from foot to foot anxiously waiting when Mark says "stop doing that you're making me nervous" I sigh and look down at my feet and then up at the ceiling "sorry it's just the first time we are doing this since-" I can't bear to say it but Mark knows what I'm talking about as he says "I get it".

We get into the elevator and Mark presses a button. It goes down before it goes up, someone clearly having pressed the button, the doors open and Alex comes in "hey" he says leaning in to kiss me but I dodge out of the way, his smile falls. Alex clears his throat and stands awkwardly next to me "Doctor Sloan" he acknowledges and Mark does the same back "Doctor Karev" I pull out my phone and Alex speaks again "want to go out for dinner tonight?" I shake my head and replace my phone in my pocket "I wish I could I just have some things I need to do. Speaking of, I won't be here tomorrow but don't worry about it. Just taking the day off" to show that I'm not going totally crazy I kiss Alex on the cheek.

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