TAUGHT

Thirty eight

"Mark…"

I woke up with a small voice calling me and he is currently smiling to me. Donghyuck grabs my hand and kissed it.

"How are you?" I said in a groggy voice, understandable because I just woke up. "It's just three AM, why are you awake?"

His eyes glimmer.

"Were you crying?"

"I'm sorry Mark." He sniffles. "I still can't believe we lost our child."

It's been five days and we just got home yesterday with our baby Minhyuck. He's totally fine now and we're trying our best to take care of him. But sometimes, we just can't help it but cry for our baby who died a few days back. It still hurts.

"It's okay. Come here, baby…"

He snuggles into my embrace and I knew that cuddles after an emotional breakdown is what he needs and what he loves. Donghyuck likes cuddles very much.

"Channie is fine wherever he is now, okay? He's probably with my mom. He might be watching us right now. You don't want him to see us crying, don't you?"

"I don't." He hiccups. "I just miss him."

"I miss him, too. I love him." I smile. "But you know what? We didn't lost both our child Donghyuck. We still have Minhyuck and Channie would love it if we're going to take care and focus on his brother. The love we failed to give Channie, we will shower Minhyuck with it, okay?"

"I know that. We will eventually move on… but… I wonder what it feels like if we had them both now?"

"I'd be so happy. We'll all be happy. But this is what destiny has for us." I gulp thickly, trying to stop the tears that has heen triggering to fall. "We just have to accept it, I guess…"

Donghyuck hugs me tight. "Why is it so hard?"

Right… Why is this so hard? Why is it so hard to pretend that we'll be okay after losing our child? Why does this hurt so much?

"It is." I huff as I turn around to kiss his cheeks. "But Minhyuck needs us, okay? Our baby needs us, so we have to be strong for him. I know that this is hard but we have to make it for him, okay?"

He nods.

"I love you."

He nods again. "I-I love you too."

It's my second time confessing my love for him and it's his second time with it too. I feel so happy after hearing him say those three (or four) fucking words. The weak heart that I have, looked like it stole all the power in the world whenever I hear Donghyuck tell me that he loves me.

"Do you want to sleep again?"

Donghyuck cutely nods and wipes his own tears with my bare chest. He flips us and now he's on top of my naked chest and he snuggles his face on my neck.

"Good night…"

"Good night, baby. I love you so much."

"Hmmm…"

Donghyuck is so strong. He's just twenty but look at what he's been through. Inside his wrecked family, he has been the neglected child and the son of a cheater father. Inside his school, he has been labeled The Pregnant Boy at Twenty. With me, he was heartbroken and he always cry. After that, his peaceful life with me seems to have been broken after our second child's death.

He is wretched and broken, so I'm going to use all I have and use all the resources I can to give him the life he deserves. I can give myself up, for him to live a peaceful and happy life.