Polaris

Dream

*Trigger Warning- Abuse (Flashbacks)*

-Blaine-

"L-Luka.." I whispered softly.

After cleaning me up, Luka got me to eat a light meal and take some medicine. If it was poison, I still would've taken it. He gave me bliss and I was ready to die for it.

Afterwards, he asked if I would allow him to apply some ointment on my wounds. I said yes, of course, because it was Luka. Who else could I trust?

Now, I was lying in bed while Luka sat on the chair beside. He wanted to stay with me, overnight, in the hospital, but of course, he asked if I was okay with it.

I wanted to be with him everyday, but I was scared it would repulse him. He was just staying with me out of obligation, and maybe guilt, right?

Even as I felt that way, I let him stay with me. I wanted to be selfish, just for a little bit.

Luka turned to me upon hearing his name, giving me a smile. "Yes?"

In front of him, I felt so small. I had the urge to just cuddle into the sheets and disappear.

"Nothing..sorry." The question that I wanted to ask got stuck in my throat, and I couldn't bear to speak. I hated this feeling, so insecure and so useless.

"It's okay to ask me anything." Luka poked my cheek, and I let out a soft noise. I didn't expect it.

Was it really okay? Would he be mad if I asked it?

"U-Um.." I took a deep breath.

"Luka, what are we?"

At my question, Luka froze. For a moment, I could feel my heart drop, and I wanted to cry. Such a stupid question, but I really wanted to know what I was to him.

"S-Sorry.."

"Hey, don't be sorry. I'm not angry or anything. I'm just thinking." Luka spoke, extending a hand to me.

I grabbed it immediately, the warmth from his palm giving me a small sense of relief.

"We can be whatever you want us to be. Acquaintances, friends.." Luka slowly brought my hand up to his mouth, gently kissing it. "..Lovers."

At that, I blushed. What did I want us to be? I didn't know. Everything was so confusing, from me being finally free from Father, to a near perfect man kissing my hand right now.

"We don't have to define us, right now. You can take your time, okay?" Luka suggested, and I nodded. "Thank you.."

Luka thought for a while, before speaking again. "Actually, if you don't want anything to do with me after you heal up, I can disappear from your life too."

At his words, I felt so panicked, I almost burst into tears right there and then. "No!"

I felt a hand on my back, soothingly rubbing circles as Luka spoke worriedly. "Okay, okay. I won't go. Will that make you happy?"

Gosh, why was he so caring and so patient? It was almost to the point where I hated it. I hated his warmth, I hated how he cared so much for someone like me. Just imagining him one day caring for someone else with the same amount of sincerity made me want to die.

"I-I'm sorry.." I hiccuped, trying my best to even out my breathing.

"It's okay. Everything's okay. I'm not going to leave. Breathe, slowly." Luka hurriedly spoke, and I struggled to follow.

"If I knew you'd be so panicked over me leaving, I wouldn't have brought it up." Luka smiled teasingly at me, "It seems that you like me quite a lot."

I blushed. Did he mean it in..that way? Probably not, right?