Who We Are [Bellamy Blake]

Chapter 43

A flurry of murmuring began as Athena looked up the hill towards the gates of Camp Jaha. Clarke was coming down; what the hell was she thinking? Sure, the truce was on its way moving forward, but it was not finished yet. Athena wondered if she was going to try to kill Lexa, sacrificing herself for the boy she loved. Camp Jaha would be burned to the ground by morning, and Finn would still be dead, only a little quicker.

Clarke made her way through Indra and towards Lexa, who was patiently waiting upon the blonde. Perhaps she expected her to make her way down here, because Lexa didn’t seem startled or off put by her actions. Athena wondered if it had anything to do with Costia, Lexa’s former lover. Athena, never having truly given into those emotions, didn’t understand the limits of what people would do to keep their loved ones safe, but she was beginning to learn from her own actions, and from those around her.

She inched closer to listen to Clarke and Lexa speak; the young blonde was begging Lexa to free Finn, to show her people that she had a merciful heart, that she was not a savage. The sad thing was, they were savages; the human race was always savage, no matter the level of technology that they had access to or understood. That was why the cataclysm happened in the first place; no peace ever last long, truces were severed and deceit would always be present whether it was discovered or not.

“We are what we are.” The words Lexa spoke sounded as if she had told them to herself before she went to sleep a million times over. They sounded to rehearsed, and yet they sunk deep into Athena’s bones, making her shudder. It was unfathomably true, the words she spoke, but how easily could it be changed? One could not simply change their personality, their defining traits, their being, but one could change their course of actions, just as Athena had done to save those kids. She was who she was, a member of the Ice Clan now balancing between too many worlds, a warrior, relatively cold hearted, hardened by war. But she had made changes in her life that she never thought she could. Did that mean her mind was changing?

She wondered.

“Can I at least say goodbye?” Clarke managed.

Lexa granted her that, and Athena knew it was coming from the only soft part of her heart, the place that still held Costia. As Clarke maneuvered her way towards Finn, ignoring the pleas and cries for his death, Athena felt for her. She wondered if she could say goodbye to Aslan or Bellamy. It took her a moment to realize that she already had countless times, but this was different. Bellamy and Aslan always made it back somehow, Finn was tied to a post with thousands of his enemies surrounding him; he would not make it out alive. He had no drop ship to burn them this time.

Athena’s brown eyes were trained on Clarke the whole time; her lips locked with Finn’s and Athena could see a glimmer on her cheek in the torch light. She was crying; Athena lowered her head. Watching someone at a low point felt wrong like this; such a personal moment in front of a thousand eyes.

She stepped back from Finn, and his head was lowered. He was dead. Athena wasn’t sure what surprised her the most in that moment; the fact that Clarke had killed Finn in order to save him from a long, tedious, painful, excruciating death, or the fact that Lexa stopped the others from killing Clarke. The minute they realized what she had done, they all moved to attack, but Lexa stopped it.

“It is done!” She yelled and everyone stopped. Silence followed, and Lexa showed how much power she had over her people. “Athena, please escort Clarke back to her camp.”

Athena wondered why she chose her, the woman with two swollen shoulders from being dislocated recently. No matter her pain, she would fight to the death, but so would every other Grounder. It was because she only trusted Athena to not kill Clarke; she didn’t have enough trust in the others. Athena walked up to Clarke and placed her hand on her shoulder, then guided her. As she passed Lexa, the commander handed her both her spear and her Morningstar. “You’ve earned these back.”

Athena nodded respectfully and attached her weapons to her back, and walked along with Clarke up the hill. The young blonde was muttering to herself, “I had to... I had to.”

She offered no words of comfort, she had nothing to say. Clarke was trying to convince herself that what she did was the right thing, and Athena agreed, but nothing she said would comfort her. Raven’s screams could be heard as she realized what Clarke had done; they pierced the sky, as if ripping a hole through the atmosphere. Her pain could be heard by everyone, and Athena knew that would satisfy the Grounders just a little bit after losing the joy of slowly killing Finn to make sure he felt the pain of the people he had killed.

It was done. It was in the past. Today was a monument in time that would forever be known as the beginning of an alliance that could bring down the common enemy. As the gates were unlocked and pulled open from the inside guard, Abby raced to Clarke and took her from Athena, comforting her daughter as well as she could. Clarke’s tears were noticeable, but she didn’t cry out like Raven was. Bellamy was standing, gun in his arms as if it were a permanent accessory on his person. The lines on his face were obvious, both from stress and altered to seeing his friend die, and all those around him reacting to it.

He flipped his gun around so that it was on his back, and he walked slowly towards Athena. Her face was stone, showing nothing of the emotions that were boiling within her. Anger, sadness, solace, love. His arms wrapped around her, startling her; she hadn’t expected that. For some reason, she expected him to tell her how he wished she would have saved Finn, or done something else. But she had done everything she could have; she had almost been Finn’s replacement until they had captured him. She found the warmth of Bellamy calmed everything in her, and that she could breathe again even when his arms were so tightly squeezing her.

I only have half of chapter 44 so I won't be able to post tomorrow even if I get home earlier than I anticipate! I'll get up early Monday to write :)