Redemption | Jikook Smut | (Hiatus)

32 - Disagree

Jimin held Jungkook to his chest as he kept the older man calm. Even though it may have been a scary situation for Jimin, Jungkook was also a little scared of himself. In many ways, Jungkook was ruthless. He's done many things, but one thing he's never wanted to do was to hurt Jimin.

So as the blonde ran his fingers through Jungkook's ink black hair, they remained in their closed bubble, trying to ignore what just happened. It wasn't to be ignorant. It was to let them heal before they actually spoke about what just took place. 

For a moment, they were silent. Only their heavy breathing resulting from their sobs could be heard. Jimin's fingers lightly brushed Jungkook's hair back continuously, until they were both calmer. When the air was less tense, Jungkook decided to speak. 

"Baby..." Jungkook's quiet voice broke the sounds of their heavy breathing. 

Jimin, who was in his little bubble, shuddered when he remembered what was going on now, and the emotional conversation that would come with it. They couldn't ignore the events of today, even if they wanted to. It wouldn't be healthy for them.

"Mhm..." Jimin responded, even if there was still a lump present in his throat. He looked dreadful, after having cried for so long, but Jungkook looked just as bad. Never in his days has Jungkook imagined hurting Jimin this way; it's just that his past demons got ahold of him and they possessed him in that moment. There was no guarantee that it wouldn't happen again, but Jimin had a little faith that even if Jungkook needed psychological help for a long time, they could get through this issue. They would try, no matter what. 

"I'm sorry-" Jungkook had started, but didn't get a chance to speak further. Jimin just tightened his hold around Jungkook, hushing him in the process. 

"I know... I know... I should really hate you for what you almost did to me..." Jimin whispered back, barely even audible. Jungkook tensed after hearing that. The thought of Jimin hating him, although it was highly called for, really broke him, but not any more than the fact that he deserved Jimin's hatred. 

"So what's stopping you?" Jungkook managed to speak, his eyes shut as he rested in Jimin's arms. Although he should thank his lucky stars that Jimin didn't hate him as yet, he couldn't help but wonder why. 

"Excuse me?" Jimin mentally buffered, pulling back a fraction so that he could look down at Jungkook who was resting his head on Jimin's chest while the blonde sat with his back against the headboard.  Jungkook pulled back as well, looking up to make eye contact with Jimin. However, the problem arose when making this eye contact proved to be the hardest thing, and maintaining this eye contact was the worst for both men. The pain that couldn't be hidden within their eyes were torturous, and Jungkook blamed himself for it. But, he had to maintain the eye contact, so he could understand Jimin's emotions. 

"You said that you should hate me. But that means that you don't already. Why don't you hate me already? What's stopping you?" Jungkook asked further, reiterating his previous question. 

Jimin inhaled, his eyes showing the exhaustion that his mind felt. Jungkook's eyes just kept looking into his, and the air in the room may have been tense but at least neither of them were trying to make the situation worse. 

"I can't hate you, Jungkook... I'm upset and quite shaken up by how different you were ten minutes ago, but I don't hate you. I'm just...highly concerned. Is this what you were afraid of telling me? Did you hide this side of you from me for so long?" Jimin asked, his teary eyes breaking Jungkook's heart further. The older man immediately pulled back, sitting up to look directly at Jimin. 

"No! I swear, I didn't hide this on purpose... It's just that I never wanted to hurt you so I never even thought of forcing myself on you-"

"So was this time intentional?" Jimin pried, both men creating distance between themselves as Jungkook pulled back. Each man was upset for their own reasons, but they both needed to set aside their own feelings for a moment in order to understand that the other was just as hurt.