⚠️ This chapter contains self harm ⚠️
It's mostly going to be Zendea and Sebastian from now on guys.
Zendea's P.O.V
It's 4 am and I'm up , yes I'm up. I haven't been getting much sleep lately because I have this feeling , like something bad is going to happen and I know that I've had this feeling before. Trying to lie down on the bed I hear a car pulling up so I get up slowly and walk to my window. Parting my blinds I see my father, thank goodness he's back and alive. Even though he hates me, I still care about him. How ironic. Walking back, I climb into bed and a few moments later I let myself succumb to sleep. Waking up to the sound of shuffling around, I flutter my eyes open and find Titan rummaging through my thing.
"Can I help you with something there champ?" I ask sarcastically. As he turns around I can already tell he's not in the best of moods today, oh no.
"Where's the gun I gave you?" He says as he approaches me. Why would he be looking for that?
"The what ?" I try to act confused.
"You know, the 9 millimetre pistol I gave to you, where the fuck is it?" He raises his voice and I look away. Ugh there's his Alpha voice.
"Titan please." I say through gritted teeth. "You're going to wake up the entire house and oh, let's not forget about father." He needs to relax.
"You know, for someone who practically begged me to train them because, for some reason, they didn't feel safe, you sure are making it seem as though I'm overreacting. I gave you that gun as a sense of security for yourself, so you'd feel more at ease and I told you to always know where it is. To keep it safe. It's also the reason you stoped waking up in a fit of screams almost every night." He sighs. "I was just looking for it because Jeremy said he found a similar gun around the house so I just wanted to make sure but, whatever."
"I'm sorry."
"I bet you are."
"Oh come on Titan! I said I'm sorry, I really am."
"Good , you're sorry. Look if you don't want the gun give it to me because the only reason I got it for you was-"
"Was because I kept saying I don't feel safe I know I know." I interrupt him.
"No. The other reason I got you that gun was to protect you from Jason."
"Titan come on you're not serious." I ask taken aback by what he's saying. "He may be the way he is but, I don't think he'd ever hurt me the way you're insinuating."
"He used to beat you after mom died and it went on for months. I know!" He says as the veins on his neck start to show. Seeing him so angry but holding back hurts me.
Standing up, I walk over to him and put my hand on his chest.
"Titan, I know that I am always safe with you by my side and I know you'll protect me , so please stop." I say as my voice cracks in the end. Looking at him right now I realise the weight I put on his shoulders and I hate it.
He gives in and sighs , "Okay , I hear you. I'll stop for now but just to be safe than sorry please keep the gun around."
"Deal." I say smiling at him. "Now can you please get out of my room?" After he leaves I head into the bathroom and do my daily routine then hop into the shower, letting the hot water wash over me. I sigh and relax, I needed this. Getting out I dry myself off with a small towel and wrap a bigger one around my body, heading into my closet.
"What to wear , what to wear?" I say to myself as I look for an outfit, well it's warm today so I decide on wearing black leggings, a white tank top and white air forces. Heading downstairs I go into the kitchen and immediately smell bacon, I love bacon. I grab a plate and load it with waffles , bacon , avocado slices then grab a glass of juice and head to the balcony. While sitting and being consumed by nature I can't help but think about how I'd love to do this with my mate one day, watching an amazing view as I lay in his arms. Commonly, when a she wolf turns sixteen her final sense is unleashed, making her able to sense her mate. I'm twenty one and I still haven't found mine.
"Am I disturbing you?" Marcus clears his throat behind me and I turn to look at him.
"Of course not Marcus. Please have a seat." I say trying to smile politely.
"You seem pretty deep in thought, penny for your thoughts?" He says smiling. I almost forgot how nice his smile is.
"I wasn't really thinking about anything important, just about how one day I'd like to have someone of my own that I can call home."
"You and I seem to dwell on the same things, I know I said penny but ... I don't have one right now." He chuckles, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe I can exchange it for dinner?" Every bone in my body is telling me to say no. I've done a good job keeping my distance from him so far and I should keep doing that.
"Well, I don't-"
"Please Zendea, I mean we used to be so close and I miss that a lot. I feel like all of a sudden there's this space between us that, no matter how hard I try, just won't close. And I don't know why." Because I'm constantly trying to keep it that way. The small shred of guilt I still feel somehow pushes me to say yes.
"Okay, you'll tell me when." Ugh. Zendea, you are an idiot.
"How about this Saturday?" You can see the excitement in his eyes , he used to be this happy all the time back then too but now, things have changed.
"Then it's settled, I'll see you Saturday." I leave before he can say anything else. Why did I agree to that?! I can barely handle being around him, how can I do that for a whole evening? As I walk back to my bedroom my heart rate increases and my stomach turns. "Oh no please, not again." Getting into the bathroom I feel tears stain my face and wipe them away. Opening the last drawer I quickly take out my box and take out one of the small blades. "You are not weak , you are not weak , you are not weak." I repeat to myself as I slit my wrist again and again, the more I do it the more my internal pain goes away. After sitting and watching my blood drip on the floor all I can think of is my mate, I need him in my life. Eventually getting up, I take a towel to clean up the mess I've made and get rid of its trace in the basin, disposing of the stained cloth. I have to cover these bandages, pulling on my leather jacket I head downstairs and crab my keys.
"Zendea!" Him yelling my name makes me stop in my tracks. Ugh not today.
"Where are you going?" My father asks.
"For a drive father , just to clear my-"
"I don't give a damn about that, I just want to make sure you're not taking any of my cars or Titans, staining them with your repulsive scent would be a waste." He says coldly. Of course, how can I forget? I mean you remind me every single time!
"No , I took the keys to the car mom bought me." Shit, why did I say that!
Immediately his face turns stern and he marches towards me , once he's in front of me I notice him lifting his hand and I shut my eyes waiting for the impact but all I hear is a growl and a thud. When I open my eyes I see my father on the ground and Titan standing in front of me.
"If you EVER try to even lift a finger on her again I will kill you and that's a promise!" He yells as everyone around watches us.
"Now everyone knows." I whisper softly more to myself but Titan hears me of course, as he turns he looks around and when he looks at me all I see is pity in his eyes.
"Zee.." He says but all I do is run with one thought in mind , I need to get the hell out of here.
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- zendea ❤️
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Begging For The Alpha's Mercy
Werewolf"You are MINE! And I would like to see anyone who dares to tell me otherwise, even you." He glares down at me. His eyes, they're so dark, so cold and unforgiving. 'I'll never get out of here, I'll never escape him.' I think to myself as tears slide...
