Luisa Madrigal x Reader

Hurt

I'm sorry in advance besties
Moth 💖
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When you walked through the door you were punished with your own solitude. Luisa away with the rest of the Madrigals, Your family, tending to the bakery, you barely had friends anyways but your circumstances hardly allowed for mutual bonding. Silence hit you like stone. You felt exhausted suddenly, deep and dark. If you were Pepa Madrigal you imagined deep gray clouds swelling above you, ready to give in and dump any moment. You imagined the fat rain drops that would soak you and engulf you. You thought it may be cleansing to the soul to produce such a rich storm.

You begrudgingly walked up the stairs, slow and heavy. This wasn't a Luisa Hangover, this was much more than that. Your whole life had flipped and you were left with no agency. It was like you had been sailing happily on uncharted waters but your boat had finally capsized. You were finally tired of all of the change happening to you and it made you so sad.

The worst part was that when you were alone with Luisa, life was perfect. You truly did love her so much, that was never out of the question. It was when you were outside of that perfect little bubble that stung like knife wounds.

When you finally reached your door at the top of the stairs, you felt exhausted. You shed all of your clothing, making a desperate attempt to feel more comfortable, it was hardly any use because the real problem was your skin, it no longer felt like yours. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you looked exactly like you thought you should. That brought you comfort. Even through all of the change you had to remind yourself you are still you. You looked at the places that Luisa touched you most, your cheeks, your hips, your breasts. 

You were very thankful that Julieta Madrigal had a gift that could keep people safe, especially Luisa. But, the downside of her gift was that it erased all wounds, even the good ones. One family breakfast was all it took for your Luisa inflicted marks to cease to exist completely. The hickeys Luisa left on your collar bone and thighs, and the nail marks from where she braced herself on your back, all gone. It hurt to be so un tainted. If you had to be consumed by Luisa you at least wanted something to show for it. It was like the worst parts of drunkenness and the worst parts of sobriety all at once.

You were exhausted, you haphazardly tossed on a nightgown and climbed into bed. Luckily sleep came easy. You wasted most of the daylight in deep slumber. You tried a few times to wake up but it was a struggle you didn't feel like putting up with.

You were woken by someone around the sunset hours, blaring light shining through your window. You were lightly shaken by the shoulder. You could tell by the size of the palm it was no family member of yours. It was Luisa. Your eyes fluttered open. She was sitting on the edge of your bed. A halo of orange light lit her up, she looked stunning.

"Hey sleepyhead" She whispered. She grazed her fingers over your forehead, straightening out your hair.

"Hi" You squinted at the light.

"Your mom told me you've been sleeping all day. Are you sick?"

You shook your head. You didn't want Luisa to feel worried about you. So instead it was easier to tell her a lie.

"No." You forced a smile, sitting up. "I'm just a little worn out is all" You leaned towards her and kissed her. She didn't kiss you back.

She frowned. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing I-" You trailed off because you felt tears well well up in your eyes, if you told her the truth you knew you would cry and you didn't want that. You always cried so easily and it was honestly embarrassing to not even be able to get out a thought without tears following. You sighed.

"You can tell me anything" She was holding eye contact firmly, eye contact you so badly didn't want to be having with her right now. You felt embarrassed and vulnerable.

"I think I made a mistake"You whispered, looking down.

Luisa was quiet for a moment. "What?"

"I think it's a mistake that we made our relationship public, things have changed so much and it's been so hard"

"Oh" You could tell she was a little hurt. "Is that really what you think?

"I mean," You let out a shaky breath. You looked at Luisa's hands, nervously playing with the edge of your blanket. "People treat me so differently now. It's been really hard."

She looked up at you. She placed her hand on your face trying to comfort you. "But it'll get better. I promise. Just give it a little time."

"Will it get better or will I get used to it?" You asked. She was taken aback by it. Her hand left your cheek. The air sting where her warmth was just a moment ago.

"Baby I think you're overreacting, it's not that bad! I promise. I'll help you. I'm a pro at this stuff."

She was trying to comfort you but her words made it worse. Your tears spilled over your eyes, you were unable to keep your grief inside.

"Luisa I lost everything to be with you. And I love you so much and I don't regret it. But I am sacrificing so much to be with you, so please don't say i'm overreacting."

"You lost everything?" She sounded hurt, you could see her eyes sparkling with tears. You pulled the covers off of you and stood. If you were going to tell her about your pain you thought you should probably do it in the right way. She whipped around to look at you.

"Luisa I can't go out in public alone anymore. I can't work at my family's business. My own family treats me differently. I don't feel normal anywhere anymore. It's suffocating"

"Suffocating?" She winced.

"Not you damnit" You raised your voice and hands. So overwhelmed with emotion. "You're perfect and wonderful. You're the only person who I would ever do this for. But that doesn't mean it's not hard."

"I'm sorry this has been so hard on you" She whispered. She was looking down at her feet. You could tell your words stung. "I don't want to be the one to put you through this. Maybe it's better if we-" She broke off into tears. "I should go"

She stood abruptly, the floor creaked beneath her weight. She shuffled quickly out the door. You collapsed to the floor, your legs unable to hold you any longer. You sobbed into your knees. You regretted ever saying anything. You should have just sucked it up and pushed through. It was never worth it to hurt Luisa. Your mind wondered to dark places, imaging that you may never be with Luisa again. A life without her seemed bleak and dull. You sobbed loud and sharp, pain overflowing. Your tears burnt on your cheeks, which were flush and temperate.

You could hear someone enter your room. It was probably your mother. You didn't care to look up at her. You were so completely consumed by regret and grief that greeting your mom felt insignificant. Your mom walked over to you and crouched next to you. When she pulled you into her arms you realized it wasn't your mom at all, but the woman you were sobbing for. The arms you needed so badly. The arms you thought may never hold you again. Luisa.