It had been a few days since I broke down at patsy's, me and mickey haven't spoken since and I have came to a realisation.
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I call mickey as I sit on my pouch.
"Hello fuck. " I hear him say.
"Hey mick meet me at my house. " I say putting the phone down.
After 20 minutes I see him running down the street. I sit up when I see him.
He catches his breath for a second "where the fuck you been. " He says.
"Here." I say.
"But-" He starts to say.
"I know I told them to." You see I kinda told my family to tell mickey to leave me alone so I can think everything over alone.
"You Okay?" He asks.
"I hate the fact I couldn't even carry a child properly I hate the fact my mum and family aren't here with me. " I say.
"You hate me for the fact the baby died you blame me for it."
"I never said that. " He says.
I shake my head "you used to love me." I say.
"Now you hardly know me. " I say.
"You don't owe me anything. " I say.
"I love you. " He says..
"What the hell does that even mean."
"It means we take care of each other."
"I don't want you sitting around compactly watching over me to protect me because I don't need that i have faced worst when you weren't here."
"It means thick and thin,good times bad times, sickness and health, all that shit. " He says
"You gonna marry me. " I say
"Are we gonna go down to the court house me in a dress you in a tuxe." I say
"Fuck you. " Mickey says.
"No thanks I've already done that." I say
"What the hell is wrong with you. " He says.
"Too much. " I say bluntly.
"Too much is wrong with me, that's the problem isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that, you can't change it, you can't fix me because I'm not broken." I say tearing up a bit.
"Look you know what people say about me 'this I went through what she has I'd be dead', 'it's a miracle she's still alive. '." I say calming down slightly.
"I'm the kid every one feels bad for the kid who everyone thinks is going to turn to drugs and alcohol and honestly I probably will."
"I'm not broken mickey I'm me I don't need to be fixed I just need space and time to be me. " I say.
"Is this it?" He asks.
I take a deep breath holding back my tears "Yeah yeah it is." I say walking into my house.
I walk back into the house and see v and Fiona talking.
"How did it go. " Fiona asks.
"Okay I guess. " I say.
Next thing we hear gun shots we all fall to the floor.
We go outside and see sammie chasing mickey with a gun shouting something about him trying to kill her.
"I think Sammie's trying to kill your boyfriend. " Ian says walking around the corner.
"Ex boyfriend. " I say laughing slightly before walking back inside.
