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잃다
NEEDLESS TO SAY, the school day on the following Monday was utterly awkward for both Mina and Jungkook. Surprisingly, it was more awkward for the former, who had done her best to avoid Jungkook at all costs.
The events of the night of Winter Ball haunted Mina, in her dreams and even when she was awake. She never wanted, nor planned to tell Jungkook about her feelings as impulsively as she did. She at least thought that one day, she would ask him to the movies and everything would gracefully fall into place. Instead, Jungkook had found out that Mina was in love with him for months in front of the school on the first snowy night of winter after a villain ruined the dance.
That night, when she had left him there, all she wanted was to reverse time. She wished she could have just accepted his jacket when he offered, and just let the night go on. However, it was almost as if a weight was lifted off of her shoulders, finally having her feelings for Jungkook actually spoken to him, even if he said absolutely nothing. She always knew Jungkook would never reciprocate her feelings, but her heart still burned sometimes when she remembered how he looked at her that night. As if she were a stranger; it made her want to hide under a rock forever.
Mina had almost immediately told Bitna what happened that night, who invited her over for a cry-fest, where Mina cried her eyes out to her best friend about how messed up everything had become. She felt as if her and Jungkook's friendship was forever ruined, and instead of longing for him while being only friends, she lost him altogether. That was the worst part; for Jungkook not to be in her life anymore. He had grown to be someone even more special than a crush, someone who helped her in dark times and sometimes her shoulder to cry on. But she lost him.
It was nearly last period when Mina walked through the hallways, sulking and staring at the floor as she made her way to her chemistry class. She always loved chemistry, but suddenly she dreaded it, due to a particular someone who sat next to her in that class. She had even eaten her lunch in her homeroom earlier, alone, to avoid Jungkook who sat at their table on a daily basis.
Mina didn't even notice when a foot had stuck itself in her path, making her catch her own foot on it, making her fall forward and drop her books in the hallway. She winced at the pain in her knee as people simply scurried by, in a haste to get to the last class on that tiring Monday. She looked up to see Heejin, the usual smug grin on her lips as she glared down at her.
"Why are you so gloomy?" Heejin cackled, walking over to her when she noticed Mina about to get her books. She kicked them out of her reach, and Mina watched as they slid across the hallway, hitting against some lockers. Heejin walked away, along with the other students as the hallway became empty. She let out a sigh as she stood up, brushing off her jeans, before making her way to her books on the floor.
When she fully stood up again, her eyes landed on a figure near the end of the hall, frozen as he stared back at her.
Mina swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked at Jungkook, her heart thumping in her ears. This was the first time she had acknowledged him that day, and when Jungkook had taken a careful step forward, Mina panicked, turning on her heel and speed-walking away from him, leaving him alone once again.
-
Mina had decided to skip her singing lessons that day, simply by calling her instructor and telling him that she wasn't feeling well. Knowing him, he definitely wouldn't have checked this with her father; he was deadly afraid of him. She definitely was not in the mood to go to her lessons, but she couldn't go home either, so she chose to walk around the city, reveling in the places she'd never seen before and exploring to hopefully get a certain someone off of her mind.
She took a deep breath as she walked along a bridge that stood over the river that ran through a part of the city, admiring the way the clear winter blue sky reflected on the water. The wind was cold, pricking on her cheeks as she shoved her hands in her long coat, her hair flowing in the wind.
She stopped in the middle of the bridge, hearing the cars zoom by behind her as she looked out to the river, seeing the tall buildings surrounding it. It reminded her of flying around as Raven. What she wouldn't give to live her life only as Raven, without teenage stress and heartbreak.
Startling her was the sound of a pair of feet landing on the sidewalk beside her, and she swiftly turned to see her partner, Firedrake. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she watched him climb onto the ledge, sitting on it before looking back at her.
"Firedrake? What are you doing here?" Mina furrowed her eyebrows. This certainly wasn't the first time that Firedrake had suddenly shown up beside her like that, but it still confused her nonetheless.
"I, uh, saw you alone and I was curious," Jungkook nervously chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck, dangling his feet off of the bridge. The truth was, he had been meaning to talk to her all day, but never had the chance due to the fact that she was avoiding him. He knew she would never talk to him if he were Jungkook, but if he was Firedrake, perhaps she would. "Aren't you supposed to be at your singing lessons?"
"How did you know I take singing lessons?" Mina asked, her voice low as she looked up at him.
Jungkook blinked in panic, eyes darting to everything but her. "Y-You're famous, everyone knows you take singing lessons," he sputtered, hesitantly taking a glance at her. His face fell when he noticed that she was staring out to the view of the river, a deep frown on her lips. It hurt him to see her this down, and to know it was his fault, he felt terrible.
"Yeah, I skipped."
"Won't your father get mad?" he asked gently.
"He doesn't know, and I don't really care," she bit her lip, leaning her cheek into her palm as her elbow rested on the fence of the bridge.
"Did something happen?" Jungkook looked at her hesitantly, his eyebrows softly raised as he scanned her face. He watched her sigh, the winter cold making the huff visible.
"I don't know, it's stupid," she looked at her fingers. "You know that guy I told you about? Who I'm in love with?"
Jungkook swallowed. "Yeah."
"I told him the truth. I told him that I'm in love with him, but I know he doesn't feel the same way. I've always secretly known, but it hurts to really know," Mina sighed, blinking back her tears.
"Why don't you talk to this guy, hear what he has to say?" Jungkook asked, watching her carefully. That was his true question, to hear why she'd been avoiding him that entire day.
"I can't even talk to him without wanting to cry," she said. "I've single-handedly ruined our entire friendship, and I know everything will change, and it will be so awkward that he just won't talk to me anymore. I don't want to lose him, you know?" she scoffed. "I'm so lame."
"Hey, you're not lame," he firmly corrected her immediately. "If anything, all of the guys in the city want to be your boyfriend."
"Sure, all but one."
Jungkook paused, a defeated sigh falling from his lips as he faced forward, staring down at the river. He felt the same as her, he never wanted to lose the close friendship that they had with each other. He cared about her so much, but his heart truly belonged to Raven, and only her. Mina was amazing, of course, she was everything a boy could ever dream of, but she wasn't Raven.
