27 ➹ reverse psychology

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therefore i am | billie eilish❝ don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how i feel top of the world, but your world isn't realyour world's an ideal ❞

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therefore i am | billie eilish
❝ don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how i feel top of the world, but your world isn't real
your world's an ideal ❞

THE LIBRARY IS stacked from top to bottom with all kinds of books. I haven't had time to stop by yet and I don't think I will after this, I've always disliked studying in public spaces. I did it once though for someone but that's in the past and we're now in the present.

I had no luck finding the person I'm looking for on the first floor so I've resorted to the second which is less idle, with fewer people gawking and less commotion in between shelves not built to waistband pushed up backs and sloppy kisses of teens thirsting over to have their movie makeout moment.

I catch a glimpse of a familiar figure in one of the furthest corners and I turn to look at him through a bookshelf. Rain is seated alone reading something, his face forms into of humour as a small smile tugs at his lips and he highlights a sentence, before getting out a pen and writing something in the book.

He looks much more innocent like this - reading, and not causing trouble to society.

At first though, I wondered why he wrote and annotated so much in his books, that was until I saw a package arrive for him with a bunch of books attached already annotated. It was Luca who'd been the one to explain that it was a thing he and some girl did, back and forth during the school year.

I walk pass Rain not wanting to disrupt his alone time, I'm sure he didn't think any of us would find him here so I leave it that way.

I round where the bathrooms are, where the charging ports are, where the vending machines happen to be, and as if finally...who I'm looking for.

Dad said to not have my name written next to Valé's he never said I couldn't have it written next to Amber Zhu's.

Bingo.

Amber's sitting at a round desk by herself. She doesn't look lonely by matter but by choice. Her raven hair is tucked behind her ears as she stares down at a question in her workbook. She digs her front teeth into her bottom lip as concentration paints across her stoic features.

Amber's got her laptop on one end of the desk and two different textbooks open parallel to each other - which she glances at briefly before writing in her notebook. I watch as people glance over at her for a quick second but no one bothers her - no one dares to disrupt her.

When Saamiya Daler told me she was assigning me Amber Zhu my first and only thought was fucking great. Give Atlas Nai, Sage Nadia, Luca Valé and stick me with Amber. I'm sure she'll have no problem ripping me apart, lucky for me I don't break easily.

I stroll to her table and take a seat on the opposite side, closing her laptop from behind nonchalantly. I hear the whispers start-up in an instant, it's as if my ears are trained to pick up on whenever my name is mentioned.

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