Loverboy ~ Nathan Sykes Fanfic.

loverboy chapter 11. || "I'm sorry Nathan / sleep, sleep and more sleep".

How did our hate grew so fast into a friendship, and our friendship into love? 

Wait, was I in love with him? 

Oh. 

I felt the kiss getting more and more serious, and before I knew it, we were one of the many couples that were making out in the club. 

Were were reclining next to a wall. His hands were traveling all the way up and down my back, and mines were messing his hair up. 

We kissed more and more, and suddenly, it hit me. 

I wasn't in love with him, I was just drunk, really, really drunk. I felt bad for doing this to him, so I backed off immediately. 

My vision was blurry, but I could see him licking his lips. 

- What happened babe? - he asked relying his forehead on mine. I pushed him off me. 

- I'm sorry Nathan, I can't do this - I felt like I failed him, like I failed myself. I don't know why, but tears started streaming down my face. I felt like I disappointed both of us. 

After that, I rushed out of the Hotel and called a cab. Whilst I was waiting for it, I managed to get myself on my feet, I was really wasted. One came by and I told the chauffeur to take me to my address. 

I got home and rushed inside of my apartment. I didn't bother to take off my clothes or my make-up. I just went straight into bed. 

I couldn't sleep. 

Nathan... 

- - - - - 

The next morning I woke up feeling like crap. 

Should I be proud of myself for having my first ever hangover or should I be ashamed?

My hair was resembling a lion, I had the worst dark circles around my eyes, and the ruined make-up didn't help at all. I took a glimpse at my alarm watch and it was already one o' clock. 

- Dear Jesus - I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. 

I immediately stood up and opened the key to the hot water. I started undressing and got in the shower. 

I started to think about everything that happened last night. The show, the smiles, the hugs and of course the kiss. I found myself smiling at my thoughts. And it became evident to me, I needed to clear things up with him. 

I came out of the shower and took out my phone to text Nathan. Or should I call him? No, I'm going to text him. 

To: Nathan. 

"Nathan, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. I was scared. Can we talk today? Please."

I sighed and sent the text. 

I dressed up and went to the kitchen to prepare myself a cup of tea. When it was ready I came back to my room and saw I had one nex text message. 

From: Nathan. 

"Sure. What about if we meet at the cafe near my hotel like at 3 today? Xx" 

To: Nathan. 

"Sounds great x." 

I sighed once again and relied on my bed. I was really tired. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was asleep again. 

I woke up once more and it was 3 o' clock. I changed my outfit and went out. 

When I arrived at the venue Nathan told me to head to, I ordered a glass of water whilst i waited for him. 

I was still feeling like crap. 

When I saw him coming my way, I started shaking. Crap, I didn't know what I was going to tell him. I didn't even think about it. 

What are my feelings for him? Obviously, I'm still slightly afraid of him. That's the only thing that I'm clear about. The rest of my feleings for him resembled a tangled ball of worsted in my head. It was all so messed up. 

- sup - he said. 

I cleared my throat, still shaking. 

Silence overwhelmed us. 

- sooo - he said breaking the ice. 

- ummm - I said. I was really blushed, completely frozen in front of him. Like the first time. 

He raised an eyebrow waiting for me to come out with a complete sentence that made sense. 

- basically, Nathan, I wanted to say that yesterday was a total mistake, we were both so drunk, I wasn't thinking right and - I finally started announcing but Nathan cut me off. 

With a kiss. 

I widened my eyes as his rose rushed with mine. 

I CLEARLY wasn't expecting that. 

I pushed him off as he went further into the kiss. 

- what do you think you're doing? I told you it was a mistake - I said altered at him. 

What scared me the most is that this time he wasn't drunk, at all. 

He stared at me confused, as it it was what I wanted. 

- I thought that... - he stammered. 

- no, Nathan. You didn't think about it. Sorry, I need to go. Please, don't call me or text me. I'm so sorry - I said as tears started escaping from my eyes. Luckily, I was wearing sunglasses. 

I grabbed my purse and went out. 

I hate myself. 

I hate myself. 

I hate myself. 

I hate not having a clue about my feelings. 

I hate overthinking things. 

I hate that I can't put the past in the past. 

I'm such a stupid person. 

Nathan must be heartbroken now. 

You stupid Ashley, you don't even deserve to be alive. 

My thoughts were getting so intense I thought I was going to black-out right there, like I usually do.

Wait, where am I?

I was in this nasty street, somewhere near Times Square. Wow, I must have walked a lot. 

I called a cab and went to my house. I went straight into my bedroom and started crying. 

A lot. 

My phone started ringing. 

- ello? - I said without even looking at the ID. 

- Ashley? You sound like shit mate - I heard Mary say. 

- thanks, that's so flattering - I said in a sarcastic way. 

- what happened? - she asked me. 

- nothing, just watching a movie - I lied. 

- you sure? -  

- yeah - I tried to giggle, but I failed. - can we talk later? This movie is really good. - I said. 

- yeah sure... Whatever you want - she answered in a confused way and hanged up the call.

I was surprised that she believed me, because usually I don't tell lies, and if I do, I suck at it.

I really wasn't feeling good, at all. 

Before I knew it, I was asleep... again.