Loverboy ~ Nathan Sykes Fanfic.

loverboy chapter 17. || "Nathan tells his part of the story."

Nathan's P.O.V (Point Of View)

- Nathan, I appreciate your help but I think it's better if I go now - she said and I felt the gap in my heart grew larger.

I wanted to spend some time alone with her, without the boys there to bother us, just her and me. Being separated from her made me realize how much I needed her in my life.

I still want to slap myself every time I think that I used to beat her when we were in secondary. Why in the world would I want to do that? Oh, there was a reason, actually. I used to think that I didn't deserve her, so I put her down to make myself feel that she didn't deserve me, or anyone. Also, I couldn't allow myself to fall in love, specifically with her. I would be ashamed to admit that I loved her. But there was something about Ashley that never allowed me to back up from her. Telling myself that I hated her was the only way I had to stop loving her.

I bit my lip at all of my thoughts and saw when her lips wobbled with nervousness. She might have been away for too long, but I knew her too well. - but we just got here? - I asked. - we haven't unpacked anything. -

I watched as her eyes traveled across the room, probably making up an excuse. - well Ibiza it's known for the night life right? I'm afraid the streets are going to be crowded and I might not make it on time to the airport. I don't want Mary to wait. - she said, her nails rushing her hip.

- you're right. - I said. - I think you should get going. - I told her, just agreeing with her. She was always right, after all.

She walked pass me to leave the room, but I stopped her, grabbing her from her wrist. - wait, before you leave, give me a goodnight kiss? - I asked without even noticing. Maybe that's why it sounded so innocent.

I stared at her pale blue eyes as she just processed what I just said. - aw, of course I can - she told me and kissed me. But before she could break away, I put my hand on her back, forcing her against me. I wasn't going to let her go that easily.

I kissed her back and then it got more intense. I felt how her fingers made contact with the small of my back, slipping right beneath my shirt. I pulled back, just a little. I knew that if I didn't stop her, she might drive me a little too crazy, and I know I won't be able to control myself.

- didn't you say you don't want Mary to wait for you? - I asked her, hopping she would leave right now.

- who cares? - she said between her heavy breaths, which made me shiver.

She pushed her fingers through my hair, and kissed me again, but this time was different, it was more pure. I gently put my hand on her waist, feeling the warmth of her skin prickle against my cold fingers. She started walking backwards until she stopped. She must have found the bed, I thought. I let the adrenaline take over me and without even doubting it, I pulled her down.

The Nathan that was craving for her took over me, and I was kinda scared.

I broke away from her to take air, so it would oxygenate my head and I would think better. But I can't, I can't control myself. My hands start on her cheeks, then I pass over her side, I can notice that then there is her waist, then it curved among her hip, sliding to her naked leg, due to her shorts, which now I don't know if I was glad she was wearing them or if I hated her for doing that. I let my hand there, convincing that I there was not turning back now. But then, when I thought I might be going insane, she pressed closer to me and wrapped her leg around me. That ignited an explosion of chemical reactions in my brain. I heard my heartbeat pounding in my ears, in my hands, in my chest. I wanted her so badly, but it wasn't the right thing.

I lost control of myself when I slipped my hands under her shirt, driving myself to insanity. I was surprised she didn't stop me, she has always been conservative. I heard as a moan escaped her, which made my head buzz with lots of feelings at the same time. I didn't let her know that I did hear her, because I knew that everything would stop right now, and I didn't want that, even though I did. I pressed my palm to her lower back, eliminating the little space that was between us before. I run my fingers up her back, making her shirt expose her body.

I kissed her neck, and that's when I know I lost control of my actions. Everything I did from that point wasn't me, really. She clung to my shoulder to steady herself, sending heat to my cheeks. My hand reached the top of her back and curled around her neck. My arms are tangled with her shirt, but I don't care, because now we're kissing desperately. She tighten her grip on my shoulder. I knew she was nervous. I smiled at the thought.

Maybe I should stop, maybe I shouldn't, my head throb with rushes of thoughts, but they all seem to cease when she kisses in my neck, and I suck in a moan. She goes back to my lips, and when I decide to go further, her phone rings. We both break apart and I let out a sigh of relief.

We both stay there, just staring at the ceiling, processing what just happened, and how we lost control of ourselves, and how dangerous it is for us to be alone. At least that was what I was thinking. She reached for her phone and answered it, I assumed it was Mary, though I didn't hear the whole conversation, since I was too focused on making my breaths even, making them pulse at the same rhythm of my heartbeat.

She goes back to the bed, and the feeling of her being a few centimeters away from me in this condition makes me nervous. - sorry - I finally mumble, breaking the ice.

- don't apologize. - she mumbled back. - it was my fault as much as it was yours, so please, don't say sorry. - I listen to every word she says, totally fascinated about she managed that tone.

- I just don't wanna hurt you, in any way. - I say. She made a face at me - I really want this to work. - and it was true, I don't want to become a monster near her. If it happens, I won't be able to control myself. I really want something serious with her.

I tell her that she should leave and we both take different paths: she goes to pick Mary up in the Airport while I go back to the room with my fellow bandmates. I open the door and find the guys watching T.V, each with a beer in their hands.

- ya'lright mate? - Tom asked me.

- yeah, just fine, I need some sleep - I walk across the room. I grabbed the door's knob and turn around just a second when I feel someone's gaze on me. Jay's. I don't know why I get the feeling that he was jealous. But if he ever gets his hands on Ashley, I will not be responsible for my actions, even though he was my best friend. I turned around and entered the room.

I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes, then I put myself comfortable in bed. I closed my eyes and a picture of Ashley drew in my mind. She was smiling, and I realized it was not only a picture, but a memory. It was recent, though, from when we walked together at Central Park. When we sat at that rock on top of the waterfall and we had the world in our hands. The way she blushed and tugged her hair behind her ear when I asked if she had a boyfriend. I remembered pretty well her laugh - although it's unforgettable.

I loved her, I really do. She's not like the other girls I've been with, no. She's different, and there's something about her that has the power of making me weak and that makes me lose control of myself. I never felt nothing this strong in my life, it made me wanna think that she was the one, even though I will never forget myself for hurting her. It was everything about her. Her simplicity, her eyes, her little nose, how she made it wrinkle sometimes, her fragile and tiny but strong silhouette, her determined gaze, her scent, her hair, the way it curls at the end, you name it, it is.

I feel asleep with the thought of her on my mind, and I knew that night I wasn't going to have nightmares, but the presence of her on my mind and the scent of her sweet perfume in the air

I love you Ashley, I do.

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Hey! I'm going to post 2 new chapters as soon as I can, it's just that my laptop's broken and it's really hard for me to write from my phone :-/. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little chapter. - Alex :) xx