𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓ᵃʳⁱᵃⁿᵃ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈᵉ

twenty seven

   y/n cracked her eyes open as miles shook her awake. she groaned and rubbed her eyes as she sat up off of his shoulder, muttering an apology. miles smiled at her, shaking his head.

   "it's all good, carter." he patted his friends shoulder before looking back to his phone. y/n slumped back into her seat and frowned at the nickname, her mind instantly flashing back to the reason she was on this plane in the first place.

   they were about to land which is why her friend awoke her, and she buckled her seatbelt so she was ready. looking to her left, she sighed as she laid eyes on her girlfriend that had her headphones in and her head shoved into a book.

   y/n looked away and to her lap, fiddling with her thumbs. she had felt guilty for the past few days as she grew distant from ariana. y/n didn't know how to deal with grief anymore and she just shut down and shut everyone else out.

   she hadn't muttered even two words to ariana over the last five days and it was catching up to her. she missed her like crazy and wanted to so badly to hold her and tell her that she loved her, but she didn't know how to anymore. she felt guilty; like she was doing something wrong.

   but then again she knew she wasn't. she and daisy were broken up long before she passed and she had no reason to feel guilty for moving on and loving ariana. but she still was and had no clue why.

   ariana looked up from her book and over to y/n who had her head resting against the back of her seat and her eyes shut gently. she felt the urge to reach up and kiss her, to tell her that she loved her and that she wasn't leaving. but she couldn't.

   she knew exactly what y/n was going through and she knew that y/n didn't need her bothering her.

   ariana away feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt, but also anger. she felt guilty for being angry with y/n. y/n calling daisy "hers" made her angry, but the guilt grew when she remembered she did the same thing with pete when mac had passed.

   she had to be there for y/n because lord knows she needed it right now. she was struggling and she was hurt. ariana hasn't seen her smile since the time they spent in the bath together a few nights ago.

   the plane landed, and after a few minutes the three of them were leaving the plane and stepping onto the soil of y/n's hometown in louisiana. it was sweltering hot and ariana groaned, shielding her eyes from the sun.

   y/n walked away from her girlfriend and her best friend with her head casted down. the two she left behind looked at each other with deep frowns before catching up the girl.

   y/n didn't look up or utter one word to the other two, only looking up once they reached the rental car. she sat in the middle again and leaned against miles, feeling weaker than ever.

--

   another day had passed in louisiana and it was the day of daisy's funeral. miles' parents had allowed the three of them to crash in their home where y/n and ariana slept in the same bed again for the first time in a week.

   y/n seemed to stay as far away from ariana as she could, her body pressed tightly against the wall as she left ariana alone on the other side. ariana was hurt, but she understood.

   early in the morning, ariana had gotten ready quickly before y/n had even woken up. she dressed herself in an appropriate black dress with a cardigan over top, her makeup natural and light.

   she exited the connected bathroom and nearly jumped when she saw that y/n was standing in front of the mirror, tying her tie around her neck. she did it effortlessly and dropped her hands, staring at herself in the mirror.