Barangay Series #2 : Evan Dos Santiago

Kabanata 6

"No, I don't believe you."

I shrugged at him and chuckled. Sabi ko na nga ba.

"Okay," I said and pouted under my mask. "Kapag nga miski oras ng pagkain at pinapalitan ko pa ang maskara ko na aabot lamang hanggang sa ilong ko para makakain ako. Sa tingin mo, pahihirapan ko ang sarili ko para sa isang walang kuwentang bagay?"

He glanced at me for a while before he looked away and laughed with amusement. He really don't believe me, it's fucking obvious.

"What are you, a fairy?" humalakhak siya. "I need an evidence. Huwag ka sanang magalit at isipin mong wala akong tiwala sa'yo but this case is not funny anymore! You just said you accidentally killed your relatives, Jesus Christ."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I don't need to give you proofs. Hindi kita pipilitin kung ayaw mong maniwala." sabi ko na kinalingon niya sa akin.

He just shrugged while chuckling, hindi talaga naniniwala at maya't maya ang iling. Well, I'm not forcing anyone to believe me. It's actually expected that he won't believe me, all what I've said are all unbelievable!

The image of my innocent cousin on my mind was still there. She was just seventeen…

Her and her sister was mad at me and jealous of me for no reason. They're always mad at me. Halos bugbog sarado na nga ako sa magkapatid na iyon sa Italya pero hindi ko pinapatulan.

Not until one day, we were alone at the house. Just us with Marie. Pinagtulungan ako ng dalawa sa pinakasulok ng kusina kung saan ako tuluyang natanggalan ng maskara.

My two eyes saw how the water separate on their body. How their body turned into pale… gray…. black and until they became ashes. They was so scared and shouting for help. Ang tanging naabutan lang naman ni Marie ay ang pagiyak ko sa isang sulok habang taklob - taklob ang mga mata ko.

I was just twelve that time and that was the first time I knew why my grandmother is making me wear mask and contact lenses since I was born.

That's my first trauma. I slept in the highway for almost three or four weeks because of what happened. Ang tanging kinakain ko lamang ay ang patagong dinadala ni Lazarus. Kunwaring napapadaan lamang sa'kin at inaakalang pulubi ako para maabutan dahil may mata ang Lola ko sa akin.

They want me to suffer for all what I did. Kahit sobra-sobra nang trauma ang nakuha ko sa pamilya namin at sa mga ginagawa nila sa akin, ako pa rin ang dapat magdusa. Wala iba kundi ako lamang.

"Nakikinig ka ba?" muli akong napabalik sa reyalidad nang hawakan ni Lazaro ang balikat ko.

"H-huh?" I looked at him with confusion in my eyes.

He shook his head and sighed heavily, "palagi kang lutang, ah. Ang sabi ko, pumasok na tayo sa loob dahil mukhang hindi na naman tayo makakapagensayo pa. Saka na lamang dahil hindi ka rin naman makakapag-focus."

"K-kailan 'yon ulit?" kung sakali man, hindi na sana ako mailang.

"After Christmas and New Year, I think?" he tilted his head, "I'll be on Batangas after New Year. May aasikasuhin akong hacienda namin doon."

My brow raised a bit because of that. Oh, I remembered that they owned a lot of hacienda at Batangas!

"Can I come with you? Sa hacienda?" dahan dahan kong tanong. "After New Year baka may pasok na ako pero p'wede akong dumaretsyo sa'yo."