𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐈: Rᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ PH Bᴏᴏᴋ {Cʜ}

•''Ghosted''•

I cheated on my girlfriend.

I don't remember why, but I did. To hide her identity, we'll call her (1).

(1) wasn't ugly nor had a bad personality. No weird, questionable habits either. She never really did anything worthy of getting cheated on. I guess that's why after all these years I still feel guilty.

She was the sweetest and most caring girl I have ever met. Many considered me lucky as they say that she's the perfect girlfriend. Maybe that's why I did what I did. She was too perfect. Too... Clean?

We were together for 7 years so I guess I was just looking for some fun and spontaneity.

And that's when I met her.

She was nothing like (1). She was wild and exciting. Devious and mischievous.

I promised myself it'd only be for one night. Just one night and that was it.

But...

One night became a second, and then a third, and then eventually I could no longer count how many times I went out with her.

One night, she asked me out. And I felt stupid for agreeing, but I did. I went out with her and it was amazing. It was the most fun I've ever had.

After a few more dates, I asked her to be my girlfriend. And when she said yes, I felt extreme euphoria. I'll call her (2) to hide her identity.

I didn't break up with (1) out of fear that I'd hurt her. She never questioned me about going out late at night and then coming home the next morning.

And, whenever I do come home, there would always be breakfast waiting for me in the dining room with a small little love note. It would always make me feel guilty whenever I read them so eventually, I just stopped and threw them away.

I don't know when exactly she found out, but one time, while she was out with her friends, I invited (2) over. And at that point of (2) and I's relationship, I already told her about (1). And she said she didn't mind as long as she gets her share.

I didn't notice it fast enough, so when I heard the bedroom door open and saw who entered, I felt like my soul left my body.

(1) caught me and (2) in the act. But when I tried to explain to her, she simply looked at me and said: "don't mind me, dear! I just forgot something and I just came here to get it." Her smile was so pure and so sweet as if she didn't just see me cheat on her.

That night, when she came home, I apologized to her, but she looked at me with clueless eyes.

"I don't really know what you're talking about since I know that you'd never do such a thing, but okay! I'll accept your apology!"

She smiled and giggled and kissed my cheek before heading towards our bedroom as if nothing ever happened...

After that encounter, I started to feel immense guilt. But (2) quickly fixed that. Making me forget all my regrets and sadness.

Nothing much changed after that day though. (2) and I went on with our relationship while I try to figure out what was going on with (1).

She had been dismissive of me lately. She wasn't cold or tried to ignore me or anything. It was very subtle that I almost didn't notice it.

The love notes that I'd come home to every morning were gone.

(1) started spending less time at home which was unusual for her as she often preferred staying home rather than going out.

She started wearing clothes that are nowhere near her usual soft and sweet aesthetic.

And she started becoming more adventurous as well.

I noticed (1) being afraid of rollercoasters, but when she asked if we could go to the amusement park, she immediately wanted to ride the rollercoaster.

(1) and I went on a ton of dates that it almost made me forget about (2).

That night, I wish I never slept.

I closed my eyes with (1) in my arms, but when I opened them, she was gone and instead it was (2) who was next to me. She smiled and greeted me good morning. I asked her what she was doing there and if she's seen (1).

(2) looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked me who (1) is before proceeding to accuse me of infidelity.

I looked all over the house for (1), but she was nowhere to be seen. I had also noticed that all of her things were gone.

Her drawer, her stuffed animals, her heels, her makeup, her clothes, and even her teacup set was gone. Every object she ever owned in my house was gone.

I began to panic as I started calling our mutual friends, but they said that they either didn't know her, or they didn't know me.

"(1)? I thought you were dating (2)? Bro don't tell me you're cheating on (2). That's so fucked up."

I called one of her friends and I asked her about (1), she told me she doesn't know me and to get lost before hanging up.

I called her other friends and they all claimed to not know me.

I eventually went to her family, and they said that they'd never seen or heard of me before, but I could clearly remember her father teaching me a new recipe, her mother helping me bake a cake for (1)'s surprise birthday party a few years ago, and also playing with her little cousin.

And yet, they all claimed that they didn't know me.

"At least I still have her picture..."

I said to myself. But when I opened my phone, there were no pictures of me and (1). I tried checking on Facebook, but all the posts I made about (1) were gone too.

I decided to check her account but it was deactivated.

I felt my heart break as I came to the realization that (1) had completely removed herself from my life.

I couldn't find her, and U couldn't contact her either.

The people around me said that I was just hallucinating or it was all just a dream.

Those 7 precious years of my life were neither hallucinations nor a dream.

Now it's been 5 years, (2) and I are married now with 2 kids. Every day I still wonder where she is now and if she's happy.

There are times when I accidentally call (2) by (1)'s name.

But I know, that no matter how many times I call her by her name, I know that (2) can never be (1).

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[A/N: effects of shower thoughts]