Lost Soul ☯︎︎ (ATEEZ AU) Yunho x Reader

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| WORD COUNT: .9K

Your steps echoed throughout the hallway as you looked for Yunho's cabin. You remembered that his room is the 13th door on the left from what Mingi told you. You kept count so you wouldn't mess up and have to start all over again.

"I think this is it." You said as you reached the door you counted as thirteen. You felt your heart beat faster as you felt nervous.

Stop being so scared. You yelled at yourself in your head. You placed your hand over your heart as you closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. Breathe Ji Ah, breathe.

Once your heart slowed back down to its normal speed you opened your eyes slowly and removed your hand from your chest.

You brought your hand up and hesitantly brought it to the door before knocking lightly. You placed your ear against the wooden material to try and hear for any movement. Nothing. You sighed. You brought your hand up once again to the door and knocked a little more heavier.

You waited a few seconds for anything. You became impatient as you grew irritated by him. He shouldn't be doing this, it's not even his fault.

For the last time, you brought your hand up and banged as hard as you could on his door. You heard a thud from his room as if something was thrown and hit the wall. You heard quick and heavy steps come closer to the door as you listened as he removed the wooden plank that was blocking anyone from getting inside out of the way.

You watched as the door flew open as it revealed a tall figure that belonged to the master gunner; Yunho. You looked up at him. He had deep bags under his eyes. They were near to being bloodshot red from probably crying a lot and also were swollen. His hair was a mess as it looked like a tornado did it.

"Who the hell is knock-" He finally looked down at you as his eyes widened. "Ji-Ji Ah..." He mumbled. You still heard him as a small smile formed on your lips. His face began to redden as his eyes began to water.

He looked away from your gaze as he turned back around to head back into his room. He tried closing the door behind him but you managed to stop it in time. "Yunho, wait!" You said. "Go away, please." He said with a shaky tone. "I'll leave until we talk!" You said as you continued to try and push open the door.

You heard him sigh before he stopped trying to fight you and moved away from the door, causing you to fall into his room. "Ow!" You yelped as you met the hard surface of the floor. You groaned before standing up and dusting off yourself.

Yunho walked over to his hammock as he fiddled with his fingers as he continued to ignore your gaze. "Yunho," You started as he flinched from his name leaving your mouth.

"This isn't your fault, none of this was. If maybe I didn't come aboard, things would have been better for you all. Maybe if I had lied about being a foe, Hongjoong could have killed me before any of these things happened, and if maybe I hadn't lied to you, you wouldn't be like this." You wiped away the tears that managed to escape your eyes and trickle down your face.

You looked down as he didn't reply or do anything to tell you he heard you or that he didn't even care about what you had to say. You cried softly before turning around to leave. "I'm sorry, Yunho." You mumbled as you began to walk. You regretted trying to speak to him. You felt stupid.

You felt something hard grip onto your wrist as it pulled you back into Yunho's room. You looked down and saw Yunho's hand wrapped around you as he sat you down. You looked up at him as you could see the glare of his tears stream down his face.

"J-Ji Ah...it's not like that. I'm glad you're alive." He muttered before going back to his hammock and sitting down. "I'm not mad at you, I never was, honestly. It's just that I was upset because you didn't tell me beforehand, especially when we were up on the yardarms talking about things. I even told you my secret." His voice cracked.

"You could have told me then, yes, I would have been disgusted, yes I would have felt betrayed, but we could have thought of something, I would have gotten over it." He said. You looked away from him as you felt his gaze burning through your skull.

He's right, you could have changed his thoughts on women and show him they're not all bad. But you wasted your opportunity. You blew your one chance to show him. Your breath hitched as you tried to calm yourself down. "Then, how about I change your perspective now?" You asked as you looked up at him with pleading eyes. His brows furrowed. "It's not just for me, we all want you to get better. Seonghwa, San, Mingi, everyone does!" You said.

You saw a glem shoot through his eyes as he smiled softly at you before nodding his head. "Only on one condition though," You said as you stood up and crossed your arms. He tilted his head to the side as he raised an eyebrow as he looked at you like a lost dog with his glossy doe eyes. "You fix yourself, you look awful!" You said.

He chuckled. "I know, I know. But can't we do that later, I'm kinda hungry." He said. You nodded your head. "That's fine with me, come on, I already told Seonghwa to make you something." He chuckled before you both walked out to the galley.