"Thoma!"Lord Ayato shouted my name while I was walking faster and faster.
I didn't know how to react to what I heard. He is referring to me right?
He doesn't want me around him maybe because of his wife yes.
"Thoma, wait"
Because I was rushing I fell but I still stand up and then he caught my hand.
"Thoma... I didn't mean-"
"Lord Ayato, you should've said that earlier... I will understand you."I said to him
I was not looking at him I'm still didn't know what to do... My eyes feel hot.
I was hurt...I realize I do have feelings for him... pathetic I fall in love with my boss yes...
This is so pathetic.
"No...Thoma, look at me I really didn't mean it."
"I'll be leaving"I said and pulled my hand back
"Thoma, I'm sorry..... I'm sorry.... I'm sorry,"He said.
But then I start to walk again I dare not to look back I can't let him see I'm crying pathetic isn't?
I'm so pathetic...of thinking he'll care. My mind was blank I spend my day at the ritou with Captain Beidou I help her with somethings.
She said we can leave inazuma tonight at 10 because Lord Ayato help us with the main problem of the ship
He really does want me to leave inazuma tonight....
When it was 4 at the afternoon I was having some snacks with Captain Beidou.
"That's...Mr Kamisato right?"She ask and pointed at him.
He was here alone...
Is he looking for me?...no impossible.
"What's with the look Thoma?"Captain Beidou ask me and I look at her and smile.
"Nothing... Important."
Yeah it's... not important to him. Maybe his here for his wife...
"How many days you gonna spend at mondstadt?"She ask.
"I don't know maybe a year a month"I said to her.
"Thoma-"I heard Lord Ayato called behind me.
Why is he here? Did he really want me to leave the inazuma as soon as possible?
"I'll get something."Capt Beidou said
"Thoma please listen to me, please don't be like this."He said.
Why did he said it like his in pain. Why his scared to lose a toy?
"Lord Ayato... it's better if you just let me go."I said to him, not giving him a single glance.
"No, I can't..."
"You...making it hard for me. You can find a new toy to play with."I said to him and take off the ring he gave me.
My chest feel heavy.
"Thoma..."
"Lord Ayato. I... hate you, please leave me alone."
I picked up all the mess Capt Beidou and me left because of the snacks.
He pulled my hand so that I can look at him and I did.
"What do you want?"I ask annoyed
"Don't leave me Thoma...please comeback to me... I'll give you time and space but you need to come back."He said
"Your commanding me because you're my boss?....well done. I resign."I said
I leave him there and I picked up my things at inazuma I also said goodbye to my friends there.
After leaving Inazuma... I'll be free, I can move on I can forget this stupid feelings I had for him.
And also those memories. I'll will leave them here...
I got in ritou I still saw Lord Ayato standing where I left him. And I walk pass to him
"Thoma... I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
I didn't stop walking and when I got to the ship Kazuha greet me.
"Thoma... Mr Kamisato was there waiting on you is there a problem?"He ask.
"No he just... want to say goodbye."I said to kazuha and he nodded.
"You can wait on the room down you can take a rest there."He said to me and he lead the way.
When I get there I put my bag at the bed.
That's when my tears start to fall again...
I can't leave him...He can use me if he want...He can scold, fool me. but I just can't be with him....
He needs a wife... He doesn't love me... He doesn't need me... It's not only for him it's also for the clan...
I just...need time to forget this feeling and maybe comeback here? or stay at the mondstadt I don't know....
I don't know what to do...I just don't want to be hurt like this.
We're good...until this stupid feelings for him came. I should distance myself from him in the first place.
If I did I wouldn't be hurt like this.
I was crying for an hour until I fell asleep. I woke up because Scaramouche was waking me up.
"Hey Kazuha mom called you."He said so I stand up and look at him.
I walked lazily to Captain Beidou.
"Hey I didn't said wake him up!"She shouted to Scaramouche now pulling kazuha away
He rolled his eyes and pulled kazuha.
"That kid is really getting on my nerves..."
"What is it?"I ask.
"You cry? nevermind...I tell Scaramouche to inform you that we're going to sail now but he end up taking you here..."she said.
Scaramouche what a silly kid. I chuckled and nod at her.
I sat beside side of the ship. I still saw him...
Why would I care he must be happy to see me leaving Inazuma.
He was staring at me.
The ship was starting to move and I could see his wife come and pulled him away.
I wish you the best my lord...
May the Archons guide you and your wife..
I'm still lucky to meet you even tho it has a bitter ending.
If I will give a second chance to change our fate...
I'll still choose to meet you in different ways.
I'll forget this feeling my lord and maybe I'll be back at Inazuma.
"Thoma...you must be tired you can back to sle- Your crying..."
I smile at her
IS IT LAME? IM BAD AT THIS BUT Y'KNOW MY IMAGINATION WAS WILD AND I CANT JUST IMAGINE IT AT MY MIND ILL GO CRAZY IF I DIDN'T TAKE SOME KF IT OUT OFF MY MIND
-boba
