Why Can't I Be Yours?

17//A Heart of Gold

I had the most amazing sleep ever. I hadn't felt that much peace in a long time and it was only because sir Charles's kind gesture warmed my heart.

I had a beautiful day, no stress, no insults and mainly no Miss Hailey. At first, I was scared that she would pay another visit but I'm glad that I was proven wrong.

My day went by finely and at night, I waited on my bed for sir Charles to come by again but I was disappointed that he didn't. I decided to check my phone for some news to check for any updates regarding him and his company but it was the same as always.

People were still in mourning so, the media itself was not in his favour. It was 11:00 p.m. and he hadn't still returned. I began to feel uneasy and was scared as usual.

It could be that he's alright but my emotions won't let me feel at ease with the situation. I tried as much as possible to stay awake but as expected my eyes gave up and I fell asleep.

A FEW DAYS LATER

After the day sir Charles came to my room, I hadn't seen him. He always stayed out and didn't return from work at night.

During this period, I was still recovering and didn't see him. Antonia told me that he came home once and rushed to the study to get something.

I'm not pleased that such is the case and I'm not sure how long it will take before I see him. I guess his sudden departure has a lot to do with the crisis on the ground.

My heart broke every night that passed by when he didn't return. I wondered how he was doing since I hadn't seen him.

Shockingly, he missed New Year's Eve as well as the New Year's celebration. What am I talking about? Celebration? I just want him to be here.

Besides, how could any of us celebrate when our boss was in agony? I suppose that's their reason for staying back.

I called my mum and siblings since I couldn't leave him in this trying time. I was surprised that none of my colleagues went home even though they complained about him a lot. It seems they also wanted to give sir Charles their support and I was touched by that.

It's another fallen night as he was yet to come. I stood by the window in my room staring at the moon.

Since I'm fully recovered, I can stay awake. I find myself lucky that my head injury didn't result in a scar if not, I would have been deeply hurt. Though I'm happy that I'm not scared, I still wish that sir Charles is here with me.

In solitude, the moon kept me company but yet I didn't feel better. Instead, I felt lonelier as the moon slept in the sky all by itself. I feel that it's going to be a damned lonely night as the stars vacated the clouds.

The moon itself represented how lonely I was feeling as it lay in the empty sky symbolising my sudden emptiness. I couldn't help how lonely I was feeling and subconsciously I clasped my hands as I do in prayer wishing things will be the same again.

I thought of his amazing smile that eases my heart, then his mesmerizing eyes which drown my senses, then his elegance and the charm he emanates when he walks and then his silky jet black hair that makes me want to eat him roughly. Thinking so deeply, his image was formed in my head. I didn't realise when I became teary. I guess I'm just one extremely emotional person.