Why Can't I Be Yours?

18// A State of Dilemma

His being feverish explains the odd attitude that he had been displaying all morning. With my aid, sir Charles sat up. I adjusted the pillow and placed it behind his back so he'd be comfortable while sitting.

Afterwards, I picked up the tray table and placed it across him. Our eyes met shortly as I did so but I averted my gaze since he was right before me.

Besides I always feel shy whenever I'm closer to him. Also, I don't want him to think I'm flirting because I was privileged to come into his room.

I was aware that sir Charles only authorised Antonia to come into his room since only she cleaned and touched his things so, being here felt good. Our gaze was magical even though it didn't last.

I won't deny being dazzled as his deep blue eyes met my black. It felt like the perfect combo but I couldn't stare as much as I desired.

Immediately I placed the tray before sir Charles, he picked up his fork to eat. A minute passed and sir Charles hadn't started eating. He simply held the fork and stared. He was engrossed in looking at the food and still hadn't taken a bite.

"Sir if you don't like it, I can prepare something else," I said.

"There's nothing wrong with the food. I'm just not hmm, I don't know," he said in a confused tone.

With this, I don't need further clarification that he is ill and not strong like he acts.

"Sir if you're dissatisfied with the aroma, I can make something more appetizing. It won't take long." I proposed because I want him to eat. Besides, I'm aware that he's fond of skipping his meals.

"There's nothing wrong with the food. You cook well, I'm just a little tired," he said and my heart warmed at his sweet words.

I guess it must be quite hard for him since he has a lot going on at the moment. I do hope he takes time to focus on his health and rest.

I couldn't hold back the urge to look at him so, I did. He was obviously stressed and soon, his mental picture formed in my head.

Then the crisis hadn't befallen him. He was happy and even if he rarely smiled, I could see how peaceful he was compared to now. He looked so beautiful.

I smiled shyly and my cheeks felt hot. I became lost in my world then suddenly I heard the clattering of the fork against the plate and it dragged my attention.

I gazed at him as he was finally eating and realised how innocent he looked. It made my eyes a little watery and I avoided shedding the tear that was struggling to stay in.

I felt my senses rise and my throat itched. He always acts lonely probably because he is. He needs happiness and love in his life to live freely.

I do wonder why I haven't seen his parents or any family. I'm only familiar with sir Robert, his best friend and miss Hailey.

His parents should be by his side and I almost became sad again. Subconsciously, I swallowed and avoided his gaze.

Although Sir Charles is taking a long to eat as he is eating slowly but it's still better because he's taking in food. So, it means a lot to me. At least I'm assured of his well-being. Food consumption is essential in his condition.

Honestly, I'm glad that I can serve him and I hope he wouldn't drift far away as he did these past few days. He ate slowly and in an elegant style. As he ate, he seemed like he was playing with the food because of how slow he was.

He wore a positive expression on his face as he ate and it proved that he likes the food although he is eating slower than he often ate.

"Sir, would you like me to call the doctor?" I asked as I watched him eat.