Bad Intentions (Book One)

Chapter 21

I opened my eyes and for a second was blinded by the light shining in through the window across from my bed. For a second an overwhelming wave of fear spread through me. I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep. Or maybe I never even went to sleep. I was so confused about what happened last night. It wasn't until I looked at the other side of my bed and saw Max sleeping there I knew. I knew what happened last night was real. All hopes that it was just a horrible dream inside a dream was thrown out the window that woke me up.

I gently reached over and shook Max awake. She groaned out and covered her eyes with her arm.

"Leave me alone." She told me, causing me to laugh at her.

"Get out of bed, we have to get ready for school." I told her as I hit her with a pillow.

"What was that for?" She said as she sat up and threw the pillow at me.

"Hey you can stay in bed if you want but that means Billys going to get to the shower before you and use all the hot water." I told her, causing her to practically fly off my bed.

"I'm up." She said as she ran out of my room and into hers to grab clothes.

I walked out of my room and into the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth. Before I could even finish Max ran in and pushed me out. I had to go into the kitchen to rinse my mouth out in the sink.

I turned off the kitchen sink and when I did I could hear a low grumping noise coming from the living room. Panic set in as I thought about the dream I had last night. Was it happening again? Was it happening for real? I took a few steps towards the noise and realized it was just Billy lightly snoring on the couch.

I walked over and saw that he was lying in a way as if he fell asleep sitting up and kinda fell over. He looked cold as goosebumps covered his arms. He slept there all night on the couch without a blanket. I smiled as I looked down at him. He was so peaceful when he was asleep.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked as he opened his eyes to look at me.

"Why are you pretending to be asleep?" I asked him.

"I was asleep until your loud ass sister slammed the bathroom door." He replied. "I was hoping everyone would leave me alone for a little while longer."

"Did you sleep on the couch last night?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I guess I must have fallen asleep." He answered as he fixed his shirt.

I sat down on the couch next to him and realized from where we were sitting he could see my door.

"Did you sleep here so you could watch over me?" I asked him.

He looked from my bedroom door to the back door in the kitchen that I had gone out last night. He then took a deep breath and looked at me.

"I heard the door slam shut and thought someone broke in. When I didn't find anyone I looked outside and saw you standing there in the middle of the backyard. I was confused at first. I called out to you and you didn't answer. I didn't know what was going on. You were having trouble breathing and I was scared. I didn't know what was happening and I didnt know how to help you. Then you started screaming, and everyone else came out. I couldn't go to sleep, I was worried. I just kept thinking what if it happens again? What if I hadn't woken up? You could have walked out into traffic, or fallen into a ditch. I just..." He started to ramble.

I reached out on instinct and grabbed his hand.

"I am so sorry." I told him.

"Sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong." He told me.

"For worrying you." I answered him.

"I'm always worried about you." He told me as he looked me directly in the eyes. "What happened?" He asked me.

"I don't know. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before." I answered him.

"I remember in the past your mom said stress could bring on nightmares. Is that what you think happened?" He asked me.

"I don't know this wasn't a nightmare. I didn't even know I was asleep. I don't remember falling asleep and I didnt know I was asleep until you woke me up." I told him.

"That must have been terrifying." He said as he reached out and brushed thumb over my cheek.

I flinched slightly from the pain of his touch.

"I can't believe he hit you." He said as he stood up and started passing the room.

"It's okay, it doesn't even hurt." I told him.

"Don't lie to me." He snapped at me.

"Billy, he was just trying to wake me up." I told him as I stood up hoping he would calm down.

I didn't want him to start a fight with his dad because of this.

"Your cheek is bruised." He told me.

"Is it?" I asked as I got up and walked into his room to look in the mirror.

He was right. I had a large bruise on the right side of my face.

"It's fine, it's not that bad. I can cover it with makeup." I told him as I continued to stare at myself.

I hadn't realized he had hit me that hard. I was so scared and confused last night I wasn't even thinking about the fact that Neil hit me.

I could see Billy in the reflection and a million thoughts were racing through his head. His face was changing as different emotions raged through him.

"What's going through that mind of yours Billy?" I asked him.

His eyes met mine in the mirror and he looked like he was hurting.

"Tell me." I told him.

"I was thinking that I wish we never met." He answered and even though I have thought the same thing a few times before it hurt to hear him say it.

"That came out wrong." He told me probably being able to see how his words had hurt me.

"It's pretty self explanatory." I replied as I tried to walk past him.

"Please let me explain." He said to me.

I didn't say anything. I didn't trust my words but I didn't continue to try and leave so he continued on.
"For a second I wished we never met because if we didnt you wouldn't be here right now. You would still be in California and you and Max would be happy. Neil wouldn't have hurt you. Everything would be better, better for you. Not for me. I would be miserable if you weren't here, but you, you would be better off without me." He told me and I was struggling not to cry.

"Billy, that's not true. I don't want that." I told him.

"How could you not?" He asked.

"I could never wish that. I wish that our parents never met but I would never wish we didn't." I told him.

"Maybe you should see that doctor your mom was talking about." He said changing the subject.

"That's not going to happen." I told him.

"Why not? If it helps." He asked.

"Because they don't help. Yeah they stop the dreams but they also turn off everything else." I told him.

"I'm out of the bathroom!" Max yelled across the house.

"I'm going to take a shower." I told him as I hurried into the bathroom.

Today was going to be a disaster, I just knew it.