Rekindling Old Flames (BWWM)

CHAPTER 19

"I think you should slow down with the drinks," Camila says, grabbing the tequila shot before it reaches my mouth.

"No!" I say with a little more force than I mean to. After realizing Beau is engaged and crying my eyes out, I decided I needed to drown my sorrows with alcohol in the company of people to help me forget Beau ever existed. So naturally, the girls and I came to the club.

"Let her drink, Camila. She needs it," Tamara says, collecting the shot from Camila and handing it back to me. I down it in one go and bite into a lime immediately after. The liquor burns my throat on the way down, but it's nothing compared to the pain in my shattered heart.

"You know it won't help her forget about him," Camila argues.

"For now, it will," Tamara quips back.

"Who wants to dance?" I ask, playing with the shot glasses littering the table. "Why are there so many?" Staring, I tilt my head to the side. I'm definitely wasted, because I'm seeing about fifty shots glasses currently.

Both Tamara and Camila shake their heads at my request. "Please dance with me," I beg, wiggling Tamara's hands. "I want to dance."

"Fine, let's go," she relents, pulling me out of the chair. On the way to the dance floor, I grab a beer from the bar.

I try my best not to think about the reason why I need to drink. I can't believe I was actually looking forward to dinner with Beau tonight. I bet he knew that article was coming out and just wanted to tell me about his marriage before I found out on my own. Asshole.

Along with the anger, there's sadness that Beau will be marrying someone else. Why I feel sad? I don't know. Do I even want to know? No. My heart twinges as I remember the smile on Beau's face as he stood beside his fiancée. They have been together for a year—a year. Or that's what the article said at least. Which means Beau has belonged to someone else ever since he walked back into my life. I know I said I didn't want to forgive him for hurting me, but this is different. Now I can't even choose whether I want him or not, because it's already been decided for me. It hurts so much to want him and not be able to have him. God! I hate feeling this way.

I make my way from the dance floor back to the bar to request something stronger. I don't want to think of that bastard, and it seems as if I'm not drunk enough to forget yet. The bartender mixes me an amaretto sour. Tears stream down my face as I down the drink. My heart aches.

"Delilah," I hear Beau's voice. More tears stream down my cheeks. I'm so pathetic. I wish to be with him so much that I'm hallucinating.

Pressing my palm to my temples and closing my eyes tight, I try to drive away the sound of his voice. It only worsens as my senses get assaulted by his cologne.

"Why can't I fucking forget about him even for a second!" I scream, hitting my temples hard.

"Please stop hitting yourself, mon amour." I hear Beau's voice again, and then feel a warm grip take my hand away from my head. Opening my eyes, I see Beau standing before me. The real Beau. He looks ravishing, dressed in a pair of faded gray jeans that match his eyes and a black leather jacket with a black tee underneath. His hands wipe away my tears, and I melt. Placing my hand on his, I hold it to my right cheek.

"Why do you like hurting me?" I ask the question that's been burning in my mind all day.

"I'm assuming you found out about the engagement. I was hoping to tell you first."

"Did you ever love me?" The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself.

I must be the most pathetic human being on Earth. Beau used me to have an affair with someone, and the one thing I want to know most is if he ever loved me. But I can't help it; I'm curious to find out if I ever moved his heart even a little bit. Because if I didn't, then maybe it would make sense why he would hurt me like this.