Rekindling Old Flames (BWWM)

CHAPTER 37

Beau sleeps soundly close to my lap. It's been a few hours since I woke up. I went back to sleep after our conversation. Exhaustion from all the crying I had done and the injuries I had sustained took hold of me. I gently stroke Beau's hair while he sleeps. Lifting my hand away from his head for a second, I wipe away the teardrop falling from my eyes. I've been doing some thinking. And what I'm thinking about makes me tear up. I sniffle a little, and the sound causes Beau to wake up.

"You're crying," he says, seeing the tears in my eyes.

"No, I'm not," I lie, wiping the evidence from my face. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it, mon amour?"

A bullet tears through my heart hearing him call me that. His love. Placing a hand on his face, I try to memorize every detail. This is the last time I'll ever be close to him, so I take my time admiring his handsome face. He is about to place his hand over mine, but I draw away before he can. I adjust a little on the bed and clear my throat before speaking, praying to God I don't sound weak.

"While you were sleeping, I did some thinking."

Beau's brows pull together. "What did you think about?"

"I thought about the loss of our baby and why it happened."

"Oh." Beau's shoulders drop. He must be feeling guilty, but it's not his fault. If there's one thing we can't choose in this world, it's our family. It's not our choice who we are related to. We can create new families, but our blood relations will always be the people we didn't get to pick ourselves.

I prepare for what I have to say next. "I don't think it's a good idea to be together, Beau. It will only bring us harm." We didn't even have the chance to officially get back together, but it was inevitable. I had known that. I had just needed time to process through everything Beau had admitted to me that night in Nana's room. But now, it's doesn't even matter if I could have forgiven him. I can't be with him after everything that's happened.

"No, don't say that Delilah. We are meant to be together. Please don't let what happened make you think otherwise." Beau grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. It's not a painful grip, but I can tell from how he clings to me that he doesn't want to let go.

"How can we be meant for each other, Beau? We lost our child, because your grandfather doesn't want us together." Tears begin to fill my eyes. I know I'm breaking Beau's heart, and my own is breaking in the process. This is the worst time to leave him. He also lost a child and will probably need me more than ever to help him through his grief, but what I am doing is for the best. For both of us.

"My grandfather did not plan to hurt our baby. Please don't leave me. I just got you back." Beau's voice cracks.

"How sure are you about that? I can't risk losing another child just because your family can't accept me. I'm sorry, Beau. But I can't be with a man whose family murdered my child. I'm sorry." Pulling my hand out of his, I turn on my side, away from him.

"Delilah, please don't do this; I need you now more than ever." Beau tries to make me turn around, but I don't budge.

"I know. But that's why I can't be with you now, because if we go through this time together, then we will be inseparable, and that wouldn't be good for either of us."

"It will, Delilah; please don't leave me. I need you." Beau gets into bed with me, his arms going around my waist. He presses his front into my back. My heart breaks as his scent reaches my nose. This is the last time I am ever going to smell him. The last time I'll ever have him wrapped around me.

"But I don't need you, Beau." The lie shatters my heart.

"I am sorry, please don't do this."

"It's not your fault; you have nothing to apologize for. But this is for the best. Please understand that."