Rekindling Old Flames (BWWM)

CHAPTER 20

I wake up to feather-light kisses being showered across my neck and shoulders. My back is to Beau. I squeeze my eyes shut, pretending to still be asleep as his arm comes up from behind and snakes around my waist. Hopefully he doesn't see through it. I can't face him after last night. I don't know what I was thinking asking him to sleep with me. Shame washes over me. How could I sleep with Beau after everything that's happened and, worse, how could I say those words to him? Beau doesn't deserve to hear me say that. I didn't even know I still felt that way until last night. It just slipped out. I'd convinced myself that what I felt for Beau was purely attraction. But I was clearly lying to myself. I don't even want to imagine how big his ego must be now that he knows I still love him. God! I'm such an idiot.

I'm pulled from my thoughts once I notice the absence of Beau's warm lips against my skin. The covers rustle and I think he might be getting up but I still don't move, only opening my eyes once I hear a door open and close. A relieved sigh escapes my mouth as I realize he left. Thank God, I was worried he would never get up.

I jump out of bed and begin to look for my clothes. I find my dress that, thank the Lord, Beau didn't rip last night. It's a bit more difficult to locate my underwear. They seem to have disappeared. I look everywhere before I give up finding them and throw on my dress. It's not the first time I've been without underwear. Tiptoeing to the door, I open it quietly. I run down the stairs and search the living room for my shoes.

I remember flinging them off my feet as I wrapped my legs around Beau's waist. The thought makes me remember how his strong hands kept me steady as he walked up the stairs and how his mouth showered my body with kisses. My thighs clench together as the images fill my head. I slap my temple to snap myself out of it. I'm supposed to be leaving Beau's place, not remembering what happened here last night.

Finally, I find my shoes, and without even considering that Beau might be hurt when he comes out of the bathroom and can't find me, I leave. In the cab on the way home, I promise myself that yesterday was the last time I will ever sleep with Beau Williams.

***

Poking my head inside the kitchen through the back door, I check to see if anyone is around. I don't want anyone to see me like this. The amount of questions that would be thrown at me from Dad or Camila or, worse, Axel would only make me regret what I did last night even more. Once I'm satisfied the coast is clear, I slowly open the door. I take careful steps towards the kitchen entrance, but just when I'm about to step inside, someone walks in through the opposite door.

"Thank God, you are okay!" Axel says.

My eyes close as I consider making a run for it. But I decide not to. Knowing Axel, he would just follow me to my room.

"Good morning, Axel," I turn around to face him as he's grabbing a bowl of grapes from the fridge.

"It's noon, my beautiful cousin." His head tilts to the side. "But not so beautiful as usual, it seems."

"Why do you say that?" I walk closer to where he's standing by the counter and take a seat beside him.

"You look like a madwoman, which is surprising." He says, popping a grape into his mouth.

"How do I look like a madwoman?"

"Look at yourself."

I know my hair is in disarray, and my makeup is messed up, but I doubt my appearance is bad enough to call me a madwoman. Axel is probably just looking for an excuse to insult me. Realizing this, I slap the back of his head. "Insult me again, and it won't be the back of your head I'll hit." I threaten, rolling my eyes at him before stealing a grape from his bowl.