Virago - Ivar The Boneless

Loyalties

Little Bear knew she had to return to her former self. If she was completely honest with herself, she knew she'd changed, she'd softened and let her guard down. The old her wouldn't have hesitated when it came to Freydis. Before though, Iona never had anything to fight for, she never felt the emotions that she did now when she looked at Ivar. Inside she felt that they were meant to be together, she just didn't know when that time was to be. 

The evening was beginning to close for the people celebrating Ivar's announcement. Little Bear listened as men stumbled around, as people cheered and talked about the evening's events. She stood straight with her back against the home of Hvitserk, she wasn't worried about anyone seeing her, no one would be looking for her now anyway. Behind her back, she felt the walls shake signalling the return of Hvitserk. 

Her hand kept the axe close to her before entering the door of Hvitserk's home. She didn't want to startle him, but it did when he turned to look at her with a knife in his hand, Margrethe could be seen behind him. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked her as he searched her face. "I thought you'd gone."

Her eyes looked passed him to Margrethe who was watching intently, her hand on Hvitserk's shoulder, acting like a timid mouse. Lifting the axe, Little Bear spoke, "I don't want to talk in front of her."

Hvitserk furrowed his brows, "She's harmless. I promise. She's not the same person."

Iona shook her head, her eyes were narrowed as she shook her head, her eyes returning to look at the man in front of her. "Hvitserk, you and I are good friends but I won't repeat myself." 

He looked back at Margrethe before ushering her back into the room, closing the door behind her, leaving himself and Little Bear in the first room. He looked pissed as he kept his lips in a thin line, his hand on his sword on his belt as he looked at the axe which Iona put down at her side. "I see you've been here already this evening," he spoke as he looked back into her eyes. 

Her cheeks did not flush red, nor did she care as she shrugged her shoulders at her friend. "My initial plan was to leave," she admitted the truth to him. "I do not wish to watch this farce unfold in front of us all."

"She offers him something you do not," Hvitserk told her with a sad look. "She is everything you are not," he sighed as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "You two are so alike that it's scary," Hvitserk looked at his friend, his eyes scanning her features of her face. "But deep down, Ivar wants more. You know it, and we all know what he wants you are not willing to give to him." Looking down at the ground, Little Bear felt her heart pounding in her chest as she thought about the words Hvitserk had told her. She felt physically sick, she knew that she was not like the women around her. She had watched the other women fight, love, marry and have babies before continuing their lives. Iona was not like that, nothing she had would be good for a child. "Where will you go?"

It was a tough question for Little Bear, she still had not decided where she would go. Being alone sounded like a good option, but no one could be alone forever. Life could be so easily taken away, she knew that. "I will find my own way," she sounded sad as she looked away from him. "If I stay he will kill me."

Hvitserk laughed, he smiled at her as he pulled her close, cupping her face with his hands and making her look at him. "You are a strong, beautiful woman. One day everything will be different, he will forgive you and maybe, you two can do the whole thing you want. Now, Little Bear, you have to take your strength and be yourself."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded as she put her hands over his. "Be true to you, Hvitserk." She gave his hands a little squeeze before pulling his hands off her and hugging him. His heart beat was calming in her ears, being close to him made her feel safe. "I will return," she smiled as she stepped back and looked at him. "When I do," she ran a hand over his face gently. "Make sure there is a friendly face for me to return to."

"I will wait for you," he told her. "You are like the sister I never had," Hvitserk loved Iona in many ways. He knew her heart would always be with Ivar, so having her close as a friend was always going to be the best option he could have hoped for, not that he'd have it any other way. She was not like other Viking women, since she'd set her mind on Ivar she had kept clear of other men. 

She gave him one last smile before heading out. 

Little Bear was lost. 

Her heart was broken and she didn't know where to turn. As she grew up she did not ever think that a man would make her feel this way. Her right hand carried her axe, she kept it close as she walked through the forests. She was still unsure where she would go. She needed to chose where her loyalties laid. 

The darkness allowed her to hide, allowed her to move through the lands. She tried not to think about what she'd left behind. It was not only the skies that were dark, Little Bear's heart was dark. 

This was now her life, she had to find a new way to live. This was now the time for her to be herself. There was so much she had not done and there was still time to do it, this was the time. 

She didn't know what was meant to be but if her destiny was to be back with either of the Ragnarsson's, then it would be.