Welcome to the world of hell (DSMP)

chapter 42

my parents be like
"a stable and loving life? what's that?"

I wake up to the sound of small pitter patter outside. it was raining. there was a pleasant smell that wrapped around the room. I slowly pushed my body up from my bed and groan out of pain.

not long after, lucky comes in with bandages.
"oh y/n, you're awake! you probably have questions. give me a second. I need to remove your bloody bandages and replace them."

the cold cloth wrapped around my head. what even happened?
"done!"
I tilted my head a bit. she seemed. to understand what I'm asking. I didn't want to use my voice. I was already in enough pain.

"so basically I invited dream over to show him how much damage he's doing to you. I was also hoping that he would tell you where Tommy is. then you hit your head and it started bleeding. I told dream to get the bandages but when he came back, you already blacked out. I saved as many papers as I could."

I nodded at her explanation. I missed Tommy. where is this kid? my thoughts continued to wander around my head until someone opened my door.

"hey lucky. How's y/n?"
it was dream. the one man that I didn't want to see. I'm not sure if I can forgive him.
"yeah their fine now. could I talk to you in private, dream?"
the green man nodded and left with lucky.

I pushed myself off my bed fully and stumbled to get to my desk. my hands drifted over all my papers as I started to think again. why was I really doing all of this? Tommy was the one that brought me pain. he was the one who thought I was a traitor in pogtopia. After all I did for him. but he was the one to comfort me when technoblade died. not really. it was mostly Phil and lucky.

it doesn't matter. technoblade said that I should look after him. I'm not failing on him. not again at least. the thoughts continued. wait. why did lucky let dream in again? and what are they talking about?

beads of sweat rolled down my face. something bad was going to happen. I just had a feeling. but how could me being forced to join a rebel revolution turn into this? I would probably need to talk to quackity again. I haven't seen him in so long.

I slammed my door open. it startled the two talking in the hallway. I didn't spare seconds and raced down the stairs to go to the door. Once I put on my coat, lucky spoke.
"y/n! where are you going? you need to rest. you're still injured."
"i don't give a fuck anymore. I need to go. I'll probably be back by sunset."
and like that, I took off.

***

it took a bit to go back to L'manburg. oh how I used to love this place when Wilbur used to rule and he wasn't insane. before he gave his job to a fucking child and that child gave it to his friend just to be fucking exiled.

I was still familiar of how this new L'manburg was built. Tommy would always tell me about it. he always had a bright smile and sea blue eyes. the bravest child I've ever known. he fucking fought a war at 16. yet he was still dumb and gullible. he got hurt so many times. I was there to help him even though he hurt me. because he's like a little brother to me.

now he's gone. and he probably isn't coming back. I can't find him but I'll keep trying. I'll keep risking my life for him. I just miss his smile and his jokes. how he could brighten up any room by just being there. his stupid actions and how loud he is. he never got a real childhood, did he?

finally I stand in front of a door. I hesitate to knock but when I do, I hear some shuffling. the door then opens to a man with a beanie. small strands of his black hair was sticking out.

"wait, y/n? is that you? I've missed you so much. I would hug you but you're kinda drenched in rain. come in!"

I gladly take his offer. he still had the extatic energy he's always had. he ran around his house and gave me a towel to dry myself off. I thanked him and we started a conversation.

"I can't believe that I didn't notice this before, but quackity. when the fuck and how the fuck did you get that sick ass scar?"

quackity seemed a bit stunned by my question that I asked out of the blue. he hesitated for a few seconds before answering.

"oh yeah. your, uh, boyfriend made this scar with his pickaxe before he died. he did it a day before I built this amazing abode."

I stare blankly at him after he answered. I should have known that it would be about him since he was hesitant. before I knew it, I shot a smile at him. I don't even know why I did it. maybe it's just how he still comforts me.

"quackity. how did we end up like this?"
he tilted his head in confusion. I was being pretty mysterious about it anyway.
"I mean how did we get here. at the start, I was just some person that was abused and somehow ended up here. I was really fucking injured and emotional. I was forced to join this country and then random events happened. so many people died. so many people got sacrificed and hurt. so much fucking shit happened just for us to end up here, talking."

quackity was silent. he was stunned. what was he supposed to say?
"well I don't know mi amor. I guess I'm just too handsome that you can't get enough of me and you came back."

I start to giggle at his stupid joke.
"since when were you handsome?"
I started erupting with laughter after I said that. quackity brought a hand up to his chest, where his heart would be. he then started to fake pout and laughed along with me.

I missed this so much. I missed him and everyone else. hopefully it will get better. but when I'm with quackity, I start to forget everything. there's no worry in the world when I'm with him.

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I'm feeling better now. I still feel like he's right and I should just hang myself and shit. my depression got worse and I'm just trying to hang on. I still can't tell my family and my sister is being a bitch by telling me to do everything. then she says that she does everything and says that I'm lazy when my brother does nothing but play games all day. she knows that I'm always busy as well but she doesn't care.

love you all so much. byeeee. have a great rest of your day!