HaeSoo Playbook

August

August - Haesoo
Never Mine

"It's crazy how far idols would go just to date their girl."
Jisoo stopped midway in pouring the second cup of coffee she just freshly brewed. Before filling up the cup, her mind running multiple possible reasons why Haein would say that.
She pick up the two cups she prepared before going behind Haein's back, dropping a swift chaste kiss on his neck, and giving one of the steaming cups of coffee.
Haein looked back at her with a sweet smile on his lips and soft eyes staring at her after she settled beside him on the couch.
"Who're you talking to?"
"You know Yonghwa. He's a friend of mine and he sent this picture to me.
He showed her one picture of her senior dressed in a girl clothes, and out wth a date with his then girlfriend.
Jisoo laughed. Remembering the fun times during her training days when they gossips who's dating who.
"I did not tell him about us," he said after a while, there's a wistful air hiding behind his easy smile. "But I think my friends are starting to get that I'm dating an idol."
"Hmm." She sipped on the coffee, then stared at the black liquid before looking back at him. "It's not easy, no? Dating an idol."
Haein put down the coffee on the small center table before facing her. His warm hands wrapping around hers that holding the coffee between.
"It's not," he admitted. "But I'd do it again and again for you. With you."
"Even if we were in a big mess like last year?"
"Baby, is that even a question? Hell yeah."
She pouted, smiled, and sipped again--all the while staring at the man who refused to let go of her hand.

***
A Year Ago (A month after Snowdrop taping)
"It is so unfair we don't have an after party after the last taping."
Jisoo gave her silent agreement while listening to Heejin and the gang discussed over soju and meat what was the decision of the crew.
There were no after party for the whole crew, but their group that bonded through the drama decided to gather in a private house, just a little bit outside the city.
"Understandable because of the pandemic," Namjun said between eating. "Though we deserve a get together after all the shits we've been through."
Jisoo again, gave her silent agreement and clink her small glass to Heejin's and Shinhye's before subtly throwing the liquid under the table.
She did not want to get drunk. She need a clear mind later. And there's another person around the table, a little bit away from her, that is also staying sober.
Her smiled hidden at the back of her hand, she wondered how he managed to avoid drinking when their friends are pouring him beer and soju, she has no idea.
A little bit more later, their friends can barely lift their heads. Jisoo stood up and helped the girls to get inside the assigned room.
When she went out again, the table has been cleared, the drunk guys must be inside now, and a guy in a hoodie sat in front of the private pool. Two steaming cups--probably coffee--between him and an empty chair.
She sniffed. Her nose tingling because of the pollen. Summer is coming.
She sat on the empty chair, stretched her legs, and accepted the cup he quickly gave her.
"So?"
"So...?" Her lips breaking a smile.
Haein sighed. He's a good actor, but he's happy now. He can't keep a poker face when she's sitting beside him now. After a month, she's within arms length again.
"Jisoo-ya," he called. "You told me you're giving me your answer today."
"Hmm." She sipped. Her eyes closing. Her heart opening. "Are you sure?" she whispered.
"Never have I ever before..." his voice dropped as he answered.
"Dating an idol is not a walk in the park, oppa," she still reminded him. If he's going to walk away, walk now.
Haein gave her a c'mon are you kidding look. "And dating an actor is like a cliche chick flick film?"
Her hand slipped from the cup, dropping on the space between them. His fingers brushed hers until they got them entertwined.
"But we can't date," she said after a while.
He nodded. A solemn look on his face. "No, we can't."
He was not hers. Not at this momet. She was not his. Not at this stolen moment.
He was never hers. Not yet anyways.

***
Today's hot. Scorching hot as Jisoo squinted her eyes through her big glasses as she looked at the farm the gang visited.
The boys are having fun with bubbles while the girls stayed under the shade of a big peach tree.
Jisoo watched Haein as he laughed at Insub and Namjun's antics on how to lit the grill.
Her fingers tingling, wanting to trace the letterings at the back of his white shirt. She wanted to ran her fingers on the span of his shoulder and arms. To feel and satisfied his heart that he's here, in front of her.
She wanted to hug him, kiss him silly, and just be with him. Wishing to trace her name on his back.
She eased her fingers on her tattered jeans, smiled at their friends, and enjoyed the day.
This is not the time.
Because he was never hers in the first place.
She smiled for herself. Not yet.

***
Haein is getting paranoid. He knew that. He needs to calm down, he thought as he took a seat on his apartment. He stared at his phone that is silently laying down on the coffee table.
Too silent.
His knees bobbing up and down as time passed by. His eyes not leaving the phone. And when he can't take it anymore, he stood up, pick up the phone and dialed her number.
After several rings, it just went to her mailbox.
Defeated, his hand hanging and his head dropped.
He understood why. She's busy. He was also busy. She will message him later, for sure. It's just that...he misses her.
Their situation is stifling. Suffocating him.
It's hard, she's never his to demand anything.

***
Jisoo tiptoed around the sleeping form of Yiseo and Heejin before silently padding to the living room where the boys were also sprawled on the couches. The TV giving a soft light, the game on pause.
She bit her lip as she walked silently and carefully. She looked back when she reached the sliding door to the verandah. Everyone is still fast asleep. Good.
She slipped outside, the warm summer night enveloped her body and gently blew her hair. But that didn't bother her.
Not when Haein is waiting her with his arms wide open.
Heart bursting, she went and hugged him. Her small body sinking into his.
Stolen moments like this kept them going. They're both just waiting for the right time.
For now wanting is enough. To live for the hope of it all.

***

Jisoo stealthtily walked out of her car and went straight behind the trailer truck. She walked on the side of the tents and the building. She can't let anyone see her.
Her heart beating with anticipation. Her hand clenching her phone. She just received Haein's message to meet him on the park near the WhyGee's Building.
Sweat trickled down on her spine as the summer heat assaulted her masked face while her hair and eyes hidden in his black cap she's wearing.
She immediately saw his personal car and went inside.
"Hi, oppa," she smiled cheekily at him.
"Hi, Jisoo-ya..."
Her left hand automatically cupped his face, her thumb brushing away the fatigue under his eye. When he leaned to her touch, she massage the side of his head to the back and his nape.
"What time is your flight?" he murmured, eyes close.
"I don't have the time yet, I'll ask Saerom-oppa later and will send you my itinerary."
Haein grabbed her wrist before opening his eyes. "You don't have to..." The unsaid lingers...that he doesn't have the right to demand her anything.
"But I want to," she said softly.
"Good luck on your first fashion week in Paris as global ambassador, Jisoo-ya." He angled his head to kiss her palm. "I'm proud of you."
"Thank you, oppa." She moved inch closer to him. Her right hand going to his shoulder to pull him towards her.
Haein met her halfway. A sweet kiss full of promise.
***
Present

"Hiding our relationship to the world is the best decision. But hiding them to our friends and family and stealing moments just to be with you were the hardest. I kept reminding myself that you're not mine."
"Like, you're not mine to lose."
Haein sighed before dropping his head at the back of the couch. "I was half-ecstatic you're mine but half-terrified that I was imagining things. That I'll wake up one day that you were never mine to begin with."
"Not yet anyway."
After putting down the now cold coffee, she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Remember when we'll have to date on my car?" he asked after a while.
She giggled. "It was so cliche, but those are my best moments, oppa."
"I was so bummed out I can't take you to dinner at least."
She snorted. "You said that as if late night car ride was the worst. Do you remember when I asked you to meet me behind the blind spots of my apartment's basement parking?"
Haein laughed. "We can be quiet and stood still in that small corner."
This time, they both sighed happily.
Was this another stolen moments they meant to kept for themselves? Maybe. But that summer last year certainly challenged them to keep their feelings. It was the uncertainties. The doubts. The thoughts. But they both lived hoping for this moment now to happen. And more to happen.
Her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, and their whispers above the summer heat of August.

-The End-