DATE THY ENEMY | ES:1

48

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Chapter 48
''Marry''

Isang linggo na ang lumipas at nasa hospital pa din kami. Bumaba ang dugo ni Lolo. He's already old, and my father is scared that something might happen, kaya naman hindi din talaga siya umapela nang sabihin ng doctor na titingnan pa ang kalagayan ni Lolo kaya kailangan pa namin manatili dito.

''Vernaise, umuwi ka muna sa bahay at magpahinga.'' si Mommy.

Umiling ako. Umuuwi naman ako kapag kailangan ko magbihis at maligo. But right now, I wanted to stay with my grandfather. Parakiramdam ko kasalanan ko ang lahat kaya gusto kong manatili sa kanyang tabi hanggang sa maging maayos siya. I did not expect this to happen. At hindi ko din naman ginusto. Walang may gusto sa nangyari, but my conscience is eating me up.

I took an indefinite leave from work as well. Sa mismong mga Montecarlo ako nagpaalam, at naintindihan naman nila iyon. They even encouraged me to rest for a while. My father is not around. Bumalik muna siya sa trabaho dahil masyadong maraming naiwan. Lalo na't hindi din nagtrabaho si Mommy.

I'm not sure whether it's a good thing that my father isn't here or what. Because whenever he's here, we would quarrel or be in a conversation I'm already so tired of repeating and defending.

''There are a lot of good and great men around, Sven! Why a De Leon?''

Napapikit ako dahil pagod na pagod na sa usapan na ganito. My father is not shouting, but the anger and frustration was there lingering.

''That's not love you are feeling right now, Sven.'' aniya tila kinukumbinsi ako, nakahawak sa magkabilang braso ko. ''Nabulag ka lamang sa mga pinagsasabi ni Papa sa'yo noon! You're just confused, I understand that. You thought it was love, but it isn't. You just love the idea of him, dahil iyon ang itinanim sa isipan mo. Maaring gusto mo si Javier, pero hindi mahal! It's not too late to walk away.''

My heart is full of pain. This is one of the things that scared me before. That if we tell our family about our relationship, how I love Javier, no one might believe it... because they think I was just programmed to like or love Javier, even before.

Yes, my grandfather would tell stories about the De Leons, and about Javier. Especially when my grandfather knew that among the young men in the De Leons, it was Javier, who caught my attention back when I was still a child. Pero wala naman akong interest noon! I didn't plan the encounters I had with him! I didn't even know it was him I met on the day of his birthday. Because I wasn't that much interested in the boy my grandfather etched on my mind that will become my husband in the future!

I didn't like him... not until I met him for real. And eventually my heart beat his name. Not because someone told me to do so, but because my mind and my heart chose him.

''Daddy, I love him. Hindi ako nabulag sa kung ano man dahil kitang-kita ko kung paano ako minamahal ni Javier!''

''Sven, you are just confused! I'm sure of that!''

Mapait akong umiling. ''No, Dad. I am not confused! I've never been so sure in my life like this. I love Javier de Leon, and he loves me too!''

''Sven...'' he whispered my name, begging. ''That man doesn't love you! Kalimutan mo na ang pagmamahal na sinasabi mo-''

''There must be a misunderstanding, Daddy. Javier might have refused for a different reason but not because he doesn't love me, I know him! Paniguradong nabigla lang si Lolo at hindi na narinig ang kanyang paliwanag.'' malamyos ang aking boses nang sinabi iyon. ''Because, Dad, that man loves me so much that if he could just tie me to him even before, he would've done it already! Pero hindi niya ginawa dahil hindi pa ako handa. He doesn't want me to feel pressured too! While him, it's just probably my words he's waiting for. Pero kahit anong kagustuhan niya, nirerespeto niya ang bawat desisyon ko, Daddy!''