lovely desire

honesty

I wake up at eight a.m., Aryan is still asleep. I get up and wrap a fuzzy blanket around me to go down to the kitchen.

"Morning" I hear René say as I prepare my cup for a tea. "What are you doing here this early?" I ask. "I'm staying here for a while. My house has a water damage" he explains to which I nod in response.

"René" I start. I really want to tell someone. We're good friends and he's also the only person I'd trust to ask how Aryan is gonna react. "Yes?" he asks making me notice I've just stopped talking. "Do you know what Aryan would think about a baby?"

His face and shoulders drop. "Oh no please don't tell me you're pregnant" he whines. "Who's pregnant?" I suddenly hear Aryan's voice from the door.

"No one" I immediately shove it off. He gives me a confused look. "It's a girl from my school" I lie. Aryan lets out a relieved sigh "Thank god. I thought it was you for a second" he chuckles and shakes his head. "René, I'll meet you at my office at twelve" he demands earning a nod from René.

"So you're working today?" I ask surprised. "I have to prepare for an attack from the Rapers. You'll come with me today by the way. I need you to get trained just in case because they definitely will come for you as revenge."

I look at him totally thrown over the top. I can't fight. The baby could get injured. I mean I have to get it checked by a doctor to be sure but why would the test lie?

"I have an appointment today" I say. Aryan looks at me confused. "Because of my chin. They want to have a look if everything is still fine with my teeth" I lie again. "I'll tell Greg to drive you" "No I'll drive myself. He has way more important things to do" I say hoping Aryan wouldn't have any doubts.

He shrugs his shoulders and goes over to me "Wear something you are free of movement in" he kisses me and leaves to get ready.

A relieving exhale leaves my mouth and my shoulders drop. "You'll have to tell him" René says. "I know" I say disappointed. I slightly smile at him before going to the bathroom to get ready.

I put my hair into a sleek low bun and choose a gymshark set that I can wear. It has a mottled baby pink leggings and a matching cropped long sleeve. I throw a black oversized zipper jacket on top and put on some white sneakers.

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"Yep, looks like you're pregnant" the doctor says as she looks at the little monitor that's connected to the ultrasound device on my belly. I sigh and bury my face in my hands.

"Here" she hands me a little photo of the ultrasound. "That's your little one" she says with a smile. I get ready to leave and drive to the office. As I look at the little picture a slight smile forms on my lips. As soon as I notice it I shake my head to brush it off. I can't catch feelings for this baby. We probably won't be able to keep it. I'm only sixteen.

I put the picture in my bag and walk through the security checks. As I walk through the endless halls I stop in front of Aryan's office and knock before going in.

"Hey" he smiles at me before getting up to kiss me. "Hi" I say back with a smile. "Let's go to our training hall" he says as he puts his arm around me.

We walk into a big hall with multiple glass rooms and a big ring in the middle where two people are fighting against each other. The glass rooms have different skills to train in them.

"You're learning how to fight at first. The better you get the more likely you are to get to learn other skills like shooting" Aryan explains. "This will be your partner" Aryan points to a girl around my age that's preparing for the ring. She looks intimidating.

"Jane" Aryan shouts causing her to look to us and jog over to us. "Hi boss" she smiles at him. "Hi Mabel" she looks at me with a smile as well. "Hi" I smile back at her.

"I already told you she's gonna be your partner right?" Aryan asks to which she responds with a nod. "Okay so what are you waiting for?" Aryan claps his hands. Jane and I go into the ring and a few trainees watch us - including Aryan, Marco and René.

"Have you fought before?" Jane asks. "Greg was my personal trainer so yes" I say while taking off my jacket to get ready. "Any rules?" "You win when the other asks you to stop or they pass out." A knot forms in my stomach.

I hear someone blowing a whistle and the fight begins. Jane doesn't waste any time and goes in for a punch. I swing to the side so she misses. We do that for a few seconds before I step back to make her stumble and place a punch on her cheek. She stumbles again but when I want to place a second punch she gets down and knees my stomach. I immediately fall onto the ground in pain. "No" I whimper in pain while a tear rolls down my cheek.

"Stop" Aryan says before she wants to kick into my side and gets into the ring since he's noticed that something's off. "Are you crying?" he says in shock. "Can we talk?" I ask earning a nod in response.

I grab the picture out of my bag and hide it behind my back. We go outside to the halls and he stands in front of me waiting for an explanation.

The heavy pounding of my heart is the only thing I hear. "Aryan I- we-" I try to find a good way to say it but realize that there is none. "Look if there's someone else just say it" he says in a calm but disappointed voice. "What?" I look at him confused. "Mabel I'm not stupid. We haven't had sex in weeks. You're always completely absent and in a bad mood. You don't sleep very good. If there's someone else we'll talk about it, okay?"

I'm completely thrown over the top. He really thinks I have someone else? "I mean there is someone else but not in the way you expect it" I say.
"What are you talking about?"
I hesitate at first but then I hold out the picture of the ultrasound.

He takes it and looks at it in shock. Then he turns his gaze to me. "So you meant yourself earlier." I nod in disappointment. "Since when did you know?" "Yesterday" I quietly say while looking to the ground. "Fuck this shit" he says before dropping the picture and leaving.