Ready to Run

Part Six, Chapter 37

Eighteen months had passed. Lexi spent several months at home with Teddy, making the occasional appearance on a red carpet, at a fashion week, or on television. There were small performances now and then as well.

While on a photoshoot for a fashion house with whom she had signed a two-year modeling contract, Lexi met Khadi, a model from Senegal.

Khadi had a young daughter, Lola, just a few months older than Teddy, and no family in England. The women quickly became good friends, and after some months Lexi disclosed the identity of Teddy's father. The addition of a trusted woman friend less than an ocean away enriched her life enormously.

Teddy's first Christmas was at her house, with Tom there for shoes and breakfast before going into Kent to spend the day with his parents. Jack, Mary, and Daniel came for dinner. It wasn't ideal, but they all made do.

After the holidays Lexi began recording her second album, going on tour after its release mid-summer. Jack was on tour in Australia when Teddy turned one, and Lexi chose not to tell him that his son's first word was Tom, instead claiming that it had been Mama. Jack was ecstatic when the boy called him Dada during a video call not long after.

Tom reprised his grandfather's starring role in a successful feature film based on the mid-twentieth century spy show while Lexi toured, but they were able to see each other regularly. Their bond deepened, both as friends and lovers, but Lexi wouldn't - couldn't – give up her hope of a future with Jack.

She and Jack saw each other in person every month or two, and he was unfailing in his weekly video calls with Teddy. He had a few girlfriends, but none serious enough to expose the secret of Teddy. While he was certainly in a better place than he had been with CC, Lexi knew he was still unhappy. She often wondered if they would survive the wait until his twenty fifth birthday, but knew that he still needed to grow and mature before they made a commitment to one another.

*****

When Lexi returned home from her tour just before the holidays the band was in London as well, finishing up their third album. Lexi, Tom, and Teddy spent Christmas in the country with Tom's parents but were back in London on Boxing day. She had the band and a few other friends for a party that evening. Jack arrived early to spend some time with Teddy.

Mairead had gone home to Ireland for the holidays and Lexi and Jack fed, bathed, and put Teddy to bed before the other guests arrived. As they left the nursery, Jack stopped Lexi on the landing.

"Is this as hard for you as it is for me? I want to be here, I'm glad to spend an hour or two with Teddy, but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just stop. Stop calling and visiting. Let Teddy forget me... try to forget you, us..."

Lexi felt her heart lurch. "Jack, if that's what you want, what you need, then I won't stand in your way. Teddy's so young that I suppose he'd be alright, and I..." She had to look away from his face, from the jet black curtain of hair that now reached almost to his shoulders, from the piercing eyes. "I'll manage."

"Please look me in the eye, Lexi. Tell me what you're really thinking. Don't hide it from me."

"I'll manage, Jack, but even after all this time apart I still love you. I'm still in love with you. I still find myself dreaming of you and wondering every single day where you are and what you're doing and if you're happy.

"Some days I'm ready to throw it all away just to be with you, but then I think of the boys, and the effect it could have on all of you. You're almost twenty-three but still pulling the young fans, the ones who pay the bills.

"I don't want you to lose your future because of me and Teddy. I'm still willing to wait for you, to tough it out, because I believe that being together, when it's finally he right time, will be worth all of this. But if you don't feel that way anymore then I won't stand in your way. I love you enough to let you go Jack."

He leaned his forehead against the wall, tapping it lightly, before turning back to her. "No. That's not what I want. Maybe I just needed to hear you say that you still think I'm worth it, that we're worth it."

She smiled and cupped his cheek in her hand, rubbing her thumb across the faint freckles on his cheek. He took her fingers and pressed them to his lips. "Do you know, I don't think I resent Tom anymore, even though he's obviously in love with you. I know you're as happy as you can be with him, and he's good with Teddy without trying to be a father to him. He's a good guy."

"Almost the best, but not quite." She smiled.

He bent to kiss her, pulling her tight to his chest. What began softly quickly became heated until they both pulled back, catching their breath. After a moment they made their way downstairs where Tom was putting the finishing touches on the spread before the guests arrived. He smiled at them as they entered the dining room.

Jack smiled back. "I kissed your girlfriend. Not going to apologize."

"Of course you did, and no need."

Lexi thought that she was both the most, and least, lucky woman in the world.

*****

Not long into the new year Lexi's world was turned upside down yet again. Tom was offered the lead in a new television show, a collaboration between the BBC and PBS about an English detective working in New York City. It had huge potential and Tom was eager to take the role. It would, unfortunately, mean a move to the US.

He didn't want to leave Lexi, who was permanently – and very happily – settled in London. She didn't want him to miss what might be the opportunity of his career. After hours of discussion, heated arguments, and more than a few tears, he took the job and they agreed to end their relationship. Their friendship, however, was forever.

*****

He left in late February, and Lexi threw herself into work and her social life. She modeled, performed a few small venue shows, spent time with Khadi and the kids, and made several trips to Devon to stay with Mary.

She chose to take some time off between her second tour and recording her third album, which would be her last with Nigel and Spiral. She was ready to move on to a more mature sound and audience.

By November Jack had begun a relationship with a young socialite, Louise Hilliard, daughter of a tech billionaire. She was always at the hottest parties, vacationing in the most exclusive places, and wearing the most expensive clothes. She had no fewer than five Birkin bags.

Lexi thought that Jack seemed happier when they began dating, excited about doing things and meeting people for the first time since they had been forced to end their clandestine relationship.

Lexi and Teddy went to Mary's for Christmas, expecting Jack to join them. He never came. A text reading 'sorry stuck in Courchevel' came on Christmas morning, and he didn't answer their calls until after the new year. He said it would have been rude to refuse the Hilliards' generous hospitality. When Lexi reached out to the boys, they said that they hadn't seen him since their tour ended recently and knew no more than Lexi about his situation.

As Jack's ineractions with them became fewer and farther between, Lexi did her best to keep him fresh in their son's memory by showing music videos, concert footage, and some recordings she had made of phone and video calls. He missed Teddy's third birthday even though he was in London starting work on the band's fourth album. Tom took an hour off from filming to call just before Teddy's bedtime and sing him the happy birthday song and chat. Lexi cried herself to sleep.

Tired of crossing paths with Jack and Louise, who were now often seen drunk, and possibly high, in London, Lexi made the difficult decision to record her album in Los Angeles. Rory and Mairead agreed to join her, and Khadi would be in LA frequently for work. Jenny was looking forward to visiting as well. Lexi hoped that this temporary move would prove a success.