Journey- A Chicago Med Fanifc Sequel!

Chapter 16

"Hey," Connor says again, looking less sure of himself. "Tessa?" 

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I say, quickly. "Hi. Sorry, I just completely zoned out." It's quite embarrassing. I had been purposely avoiding him, but now he's here, right in front of me. 

"So," he says. "Are you okay?" He looks at me expectantly, and so I give him an awkward half-smile. 

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine," I say, wanting this conversation to end as soon as possible. "Why?" 

"Okay," Connor says. "I have to ask you this. Why are you avoiding me, and don't say that you're not, because you are. I know you, and I know that's exactly what you're doing, but I want to know why."

"I'm not ignoring you," I say, lying because it's easier than the truth. Because it's easier than saying that I'm avoiding him because I don't know where we stand and my feelings for him won't go away, no matter how much I try. 

"You are," Connor insists. "I'm not mad at you, Tessa. I've just noticed that you've been deliberately ignoring me, and I just want to know why. I thought that we were good, and that we could just be friends." 

"We are," I say. "We're absolutely fine. I don't have any problems, and I'm not ignoring you," I tell him, even though I'm just lying right now. 

"Was it something I said?" Connor asks me. "Tell me what it was. Was it what I said to you, about not being the woman that I loved, because I told you that I didn't mean it, right? Is that what it is?" 

"No, it isn't," I say. "Connor, I'm not avoiding you, and we're good. It's Ava's birthday, isn't it? You should be with her, celebrating it, instead of down here with me." 

"Ava's in surgery right now," Connor tells me. "That's why I'm down here, trying to get an answer out of you. If it's something that I've done, then I really want you to tell me. I just want to know why you're ignoring me." 

"I'm not ignoring you," I tell him again, still lying. "If I was really ignoring you, we wouldn't be talking right now, would we? I would have just walked away, but I didn't. I stayed here, showing that I'm not ignoring you."

"I've noticed it," Connor tells me. "You keep your head down when I'm around, don't look at me or talk to me. If you see me around, you'll avoid me. I know that you're ignoring me, and I'm not mad. I just really want to know why." 

"I'm not," I say again. "And even if I was, so what? We're only friends, Connor. That's what you told me, anyway. Friends can come and go." 

"Tessa, you know that you mean more to me than that," Connor says, sighing. "When I said friends, I didn't mean it like that. Are you mad at me? Is that why you're ignoring me."

I take a deep breath. He just won't stop asking questions. "Okay, fine," I say, angrily. "I was ignoring you. But only because I was embarrassed." 

His face softens. "Embarrassed?" he asks me, confused. "About what? Why?" 

"Well, because of everything that happened. Because of what I told you, and how I shouted at Ava, and all of the things that I've said. It's so embarrassing. I don't know where I stand with you, whether you're mad at me or not, and whether I should be mad. It's confusing." 

Connor sighs. "Don't be embarrassed," he tells me, gently. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to judge you, Tessa, come on. Would I really do that to you?"

"It's complicated," I say to him, quietly. I look down at the floor. "We're complicated," I add, as an afterthought. 

"I know," Connor says. "But we don't have to be. Of course, I'm not mad at you, Tessa. Where would you even get that idea? No, I wasn't too happy when you shouted at my girlfriend, but after talking to you both about it, I can sort of understand it."

"I didn't mean to," I say. "That's partly why I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that I actually said all of those pathetic things to her."

"She's heard a lot worse in her life, trust me," Connor says. "I'm sure that she can take it. You don't need to be embarrassed about that. I've told her not to start anything else with you, and so she won't." 

"You don't know that," I say. "I can't even imagine what she must think of me. She probably thinks that I'm pathetic." 

"No," Connor says. "No, no, she doesn't think that. Nobody does, and you shouldn't either. Are we good now?" he asks me. 

"Yeah, we are," I tell him. "I'm sorry for all of that. I just needed to know where we stood, and whether you were annoyed at all."

"That's fine," Connor says. "That's okay. I just want us to be friends, Tessa. That's it. No pressure. Just normal friends."

"I can do that," I tell him, trying to smile. "I can definitely do that."

"Great," he says, smiling. "Then I'd like to invite you out to Molly's, for Ava's birthday. We're just grabbing drinks. I think that you should come." 

"Will Ava want me there?" I ask him. "I doubt that she'll want my presence at her birthday, ruining it by just being there." 

"No, come on, you won't ruin it," Connor says. "Trust me, you'll be fine. She won't have a problem with you being there. So, are you going to come." 

"Okay," I say, finally giving in because it's hard to say no to him. "Yes, I'll go, but if Ava doesn't want me there, then I'm going to leave."

"That's fine," Connor tells me, smiling. "She'll be happy to have you there. She won't have a problem with it, at all." 

"Okay," I sigh. "I'll go. Thanks for inviting me. It will give me something interesting to do, at least."

"Thank you for talking to me," Connor says, being serious for a moment. "I just wanted us to be okay, especially after you started avoiding me. Are we good?" 

"We are," I tell him. "See you tonight."